Black Dynamite, Episode 1.01: “Jackson Five Across Yo' Eyes” (or “Just Beat It”)

Over the past several years, 2009’s Black Dynamite – a loving send-up, and immaculate recreation, of 1970s blaxploitation films – has become a comedy near and dear to my heart.  This under-appreciated hidden gem stars actor/martial artist Michael Jai White – whom you may know best from the hellaciously awful feature film adaptation of Spawn, or the “pencil trick” scene of The Dark Knight – as Black Dynamite, a Vietnam vet/ ex-CIA agent/sex machine who seeks vengeance for the death of his brother Jimmy, while working to keep a new type of heroin from hitting the local orphanages. 

My first encounter with Black Dynamite was this creative fake trailer, which combined clips from actual 1970s blaxploitation films with newly-shot footage of Michael Jai White (the latter featuring a fair amount of dialogue from the final film):

Keep in mind that the above trailer was filmed prior to the film itself, as White and director Scott Sanders put it together as a proof-of-concept to sell investors on the movie… and oh, did it work: in late 2008, the actual film’s trailer was released, which astonished movie fans with its priceless recreation of 1970s filmmaking. Check it out below:

Black Dynamite went on to receive high praise from film festival audiences, culminating in Sony’s purchase of the film at Sundance for $2 million dollars.  Unfortunately, Sony botched the film’s theatrical release, limiting it to a 2-week run in 70 theaters nationwide, which took in less than $250,000 at the box office.  Fortunately, the film’s DVD and Blu-ray release helped create a fervent and passionate fan base, which led to a surprising announcement in 2010, when our favorite late-night comedy block, [adult swim], announced that a Black Dynamite animated series was going into production.

If you close your eyes and listen to the soundtrack, the Black Dynamite premiere sounds exactly like the film: not only did Michael Jai White and his fellow cast members (including Byron Minns as Bullhorn, Kym Whitley as Honey Bee, and Tommy Davidson as Cream Corn) return for this series, but composer Adrian Younge reprised much of his awesome music cues from the original film.  However, the visuals… are a different story.  You see, the animation team behind The Boondocks were hired to bring Black Dynamite to animated life, and as a result, the low-rent visuals of the movie have given way to an over-stylized, anime-like experience for the TV series… much like The Boondocks.  For those of you who are used to the style of the original movie, the visual switch is quite jarring, and it may take several episodes for the look to sink in.

Fortunately, despite the visual differences, the franchise’s sense of humor is still mostly intact… and that’s a good thing.  As the premiere episode opens, Fiendish Dr. Wu’s army of ninjas have taken over the city streets, flagrantly disobeying “No Ninja Loitering” signs and making sure that pimpin’ ain’t easy for Chocolate Giddy-Up and the city’s other pimps.  Hired by the pimps to take Dr. Wu out, Black Dynamite and his team put together a massive explosion (which invokes the series’ first use of the classic “Dy-no-mite! Dy-no-mite!” music cue)… but the getaway effort fails miserably when it’s revealed that Cream Corn abandoned his getaway driver duties to head on over to Soul Train… where he sees the Jackson 5 perform, and becomes enamored with a young Michael Jackson.

“Jackson Five Across Yo’ Eyes” was the third episode of the series that was produced, yet it was slotted as the series premiere.  Usually, TV comedies are apt to position their best episodes first in order to gain viewers.  However, I wonder if the premise of a Michael Jackson episode just seemed more accessible to new viewers (especially those who aren’t familiar with the Black Dynamite film).  If it’s accessibility that’s the case, it doesn’t work well, as the episode quickly falls into the requisite spate of Michael Jackson pedophile/creepy person jokes.  Things start promisingly, as Michael, not Joe Jackson, is portrayed as the abusive controller of the Jackson 5… but the episode soon turns into a reversed version of the South Park episode “The Jeffersons”, with Cream Corn idolizing little Michael much in the same way that Cartman fell for “Mr. Jefferson” in that classic episode, and Michael himself devolving into a creepy monster for the big finale of both episodes.  The show fares best when it wrings jokes out of the early days of the Jackson family, such as Michael professing his love for Cream Corn via a twisted version of his song “Ben”, or the flashback to Joe Jackson’s days as a reproducing machine.  (The episode’s most uproarious moment may have been the birth of La Toya Jackson, which I won’t spoil for you here.)  (Although I did like how Michael sang a warped version of “Ben” to profess his adoration for Cream Corn.)

But what hurts the most about this premiere is how much of the episode is tied to Michael Jackson and Cream Corn, and not Black Dynamite himself.  Black Dynamite’s attempts throughout the episode to interrogate a ninja is amusing, albeit way too brief (“Dammit, who’s interrupting my headlocking?”), and we get a classic moment involving Black Dynamite’s nearly-endless string of sexual partners (“Dammit, I already told the second bitch ‘No!’”).  But sadly, there’s little else time spent with the main man during the show’s 23 minutes, which is sad because Black Dynamite is an epic character in and of himself, and can easily generate a lot of laughs.  At the very least, Michael Jai White infuses most of his dialogue with a delicious sense of comedic anger over the Michael Jackson situation, which helps sell such lines as “Michael Jackson, will you stop the goddamn singing, shut the FUCK up, and let a grown man find his GRAPPLING HOOKS?!?!?”

All told, the premiere episode isn’t entirely a success, but I’m willing to wait this out as we proceed further into the season.  Regardless of the premiere’s quality, it’s still absolutely amazing that we have more adventures of Black Dynamite and his crew to indulge in, and for that alone, I’m still very optimistic.  But, it seems that we may run into the same trap next week, with a Bullhorn-centric adventure into the world of porn.  Let’s hope things turn out better… right? Right?

Random notes:

• If you missed Sunday night's viewing, you can watch the episode via this link, which takes you to adultswim.com. However, you will need to be a subscriber of a major cable or satellite company, as you will need to authenticate in order to view the video.
• Below, you'll find the Black Dynamite animated pilot, which premiered on adultswim.com last year, and which features JB Smoove as a villainous Kermit the Frog clone.  It’s uncertain if this will air on TV, primarily because the pilot was created as a 15-minute episode.  (After the pilot was finished, the series was expanded to 30-minute episodes… which, in the world of Adult Swim, is a vote of confidence.)
  
  
• For some reason, we don't have a review of the original Black Dynamite movie on the parent site... you'll have to beg the Powers That Be to cover it. :-)
• Ironically, my newly-acquired Blu-ray of Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker landed in my mailbox today from the UK.  I haven't seen it yet, but if the Nostalgia Critic has taught me anything, this movie is weird as heck.
• "The Whorephanage is a place for whores and orphans, not Michael Jacksons!"
• "Ninja, please!"

Breaking Bad, Episode 5.01: “Live Free or Die”

In my opinion, Breaking Bad is the best drama on television.  Now, I realize that this could be a controversial statement, no matter how convinced I am of its value. Heck, I'll admit that, at the very least, it’s dangerously hyperbolic!  And sure, you could argue that other TV critical darlings, such as Mad Men or Sherlock or what-have-you, could stand toe-to-toe with the adventures of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman.  But when I sit down to watch a new episode of Breaking Bad Sunday evenings at 9:00 PM (Central time, yo!), I can always count on a draining, tension-filled, and positively grueling experience that no other show can provide… and which no other show has provided since The Shield or the early years of 24.  That, combined with a wonderfully dark sense of humor, film-like cinematography, and a top-notch cast led by Bryan Cranston, has made for one of television’s most awesome experiences… which, sadly, started heading towards its endgame tonight, with the first of the final season’s 16 episodes.  (For posterity’s sake, I should mention that only the first eight episodes will air this summer, wrapping up on Labor Day Sunday.  The second half of the season will begin filming in mid-November, and will air on AMC next summer, in what will assuredly be a painful wait.)

And yet, as we head into these sixteen episodes, the question that’s been on most fans’ minds since last October’s incredible finale is: “Where do we go from here?” In that daring October 2011 finale, Walter managed to devise – and successfully execute – a ballsy plan to eliminate his employer, Southwest meth kingpin/fast-food chicken franchise owner Gus Fring, with the help of our beloved bell-dinger, Hector Salamanca.  With Gus out of the picture, Walt triumphantly proclaimed to his wife, “I won”… a moment reprised at the beginning of tonight’s episode.  However, this is not the Super Bowl, and Walt just isn’t going to go to Disney World.  Now, that’s not to say that Walt isn’t going to bask in the moment; in fact, when he gets home, he breaks out the booze for a celebratory drink.  However, Walt keeps thinking of loose ends: first, to clean up the bomb-making equipment from the kitchen… and then, to dispose of the Lily of the Valley plant that he used to poison Brock.  It sets up the foundation for tonight’s episode, as everyone in the cast has to tie up the remaining threads from last year in order to move on.

Chief among the loose ends: everyone’s favorite hitman, Mike, whom you’ll recall was conveniently sidelined during the last few episodes of Season 4, as he was shot and wounded during Gus’ epic poisoned-tequila elimination of the Cartel.  One of the burning questions during the show’s hiatus was how he’d react to the news of Gus’ death, and the show did not disappoint on that front.  In fact, in true Breaking Bad fashion, the show cuts to the chase and gives us the long-awaited, tension-filled Walt/Mike confrontation very early on… at the 18-minute mark, if I’m not mistaken.  The episode sets up the situation wonderfully, with Mike re-introduced feeding chickens at the hospital where has was recuperating. But, in comes the orderly to notify Mike… and before you know it, Mike’s driving to the desert to meet with Walt and Jesse, where’s he’s noticeably pissed.  But, the circumstances of the situation forces Mike to work with Walt and Jesse to resolve one potentially dangerous loose end: that of Gus’ ever-intimidating security cameras.  You see, the camera footage (including that of Walt and Jesse cooking in the underground laundromat lab) was all redirected to Gus’ laptop… and if it falls into the wrong hands, then they’re all screwed.

And where’s the laptop?  In the Albuquerque police evidence room, natch.  Not only have they come in to swoop all the evidence from Gus’ office at the Los Pollos Hermanos restaurant… but the DEA’s investigation has also picked up, as Hank descends, cane in hand, to inspect the burned-out remains of Gus’ lab, where he noticed the torched remains of the lab camera.  It leads to what may be the episode’s most laugh-out-loud moment, as Walt and Mike discuss a ridiculously elaborate plan to eliminate the evidence to get a bomb into the evidence room, while Jesse tries valiantly to be the voice of reason and logic. His solution is simple: Magnets, yo!  Thus, we head to the junkyard, where Walt attempts to acquire a crane magnet to wipe the laptop’s contents clean.  It’s a welcome callback of sorts to the show’s early days, where Walt’s chemistry expertise was used to solve various problems on the meth front.  (Remember the explosive meth from episode 5? Or Walter’s very specific request in episode 2 for a container to disintegrate a body in? Oh, those were the days.)  It leads to another fun sequence: the test run of the magnet, which is stored in the back of a truck with 21 car batteries wired together to make a portable power source.  It's a scene that would make the Insane Clown Posse proud.

You’ll recall at the end of that scene that Walt makes one request: to double the number of batteries in the bank.  It’s the start of a new Walt, one who’s seemingly drunk with power in the wake of his success over Gus.  It comes up again when Walt, Jesse and Mike head to the police department to use the magnet: Walt can’t help but turn up the magnet to full blast when they get there… tipping the truck in the process, ensuring that they’ll have to leave it behind at the police station.  Yet, despite the risk of leaving the truck behind, lest there be prints, Walt truly believes he’s above defeat: in Mike’s car afterwards, Mike asks, “Did all that even work just now?” Walt says yes.  How do we know?  In Walt’s words, “Because I say so.”  It’s a bold statement… and one that ensures that Walt is setting himself up for inevitable failure.  And, if anything, Walt’s efforts may not have helped: even though the laptop might be destroyed, the magnet managed to uncover a juicy bit of information: it damaged a framed portrait of Gus and his partner (whom you’ll recall from last season’s “Hermanos” flashback episode), which contained, underneath the photo, the numbers for a Cayman Islands offshore bank account.

Speaking of ridiculous amounts of money, let’s shift to Skyler’s plot, where she has to deal with a loose thread of her own: her old boss, Ted Beneke, whom she gave $622,000 or so in cash to pay off his back taxes and avoid going to prison.  Now, when Ted slipped and fell near the end of last season, we would’ve thought that his story was conveniently wrapped up.  But that’s not the case, as tonight, Skyler learns via Saul that Ted has woken up.  Now, granted, Ted’s not that well off: he still has severe neck injuries, he’s in a brace, and there are even screws in his head.  But Ted is apt to tell Skyler that he doesn’t plan on saying a word about what really happened.  Saul explains the situation to Walt at episode’s end, but he doesn’t respond very well, on account of the fact that he wasn’t approached when a huge chunk of his money was given to the man his wife was sleeping with.  It leads to a falling out between him and Saul, who says he’s done with Walt.  But Walt says those threatening words, “We’re done when I say we’re done.”  Even more unsettling is what he says to Skyler in the final scene: “I forgive you.” It’s not exactly a reassuring moment for Skyler… and it further sets up Walt as a man who’s not to be messed with.

Which brings us to the scene I’ve held off on discussing until now: the episode’s cold open, which flashes forward to Walt’s 52^nd birthday, as noted by his traditional bacon-and-eggs birthday breakfast.  (You’ll recall that the show’s very first episode opened with Walt’s 50^th birthday, and just so you’re aware, we haven’t seen Walt turn 51 yet… although this season’s fourth episode is conveniently titled “Fifty-One”.)  When we meet Walt – or should I say, “Mr. Lambert” – he’s sporting a new look: a full head of hair, a scruffy beard and wardrobe, and black horn-rimmed glasses.  As it turns out, Walt is at Denny’s to meet up with his weapons guy – the one whom Walt bought his revolver from last season.  This time, however, Walt’s making a wee bit of an upgrade: he’s purchasing an M-60 machine gun (according to the Breaking Bad StorySync feature for tonight’s episode).

The mere presence of a flash-forward sequence alternately excites and frightens me.  Fortunately, Breaking Bad has approached its story architecture in both ways.  For example, Season 2 was intricately structured to lead up to the season finale’s airliner crash… as indicated by the recurring flash-forwards of a pink teddy bear floating in a pool.  For Season 3, however, creator Vince Gilligan decided to take the exact opposite approach: he opted not to write a season-long arc, instead forcing himself and the writing staff to write the season by the seat of their pants… which led to a much more immediate sense of storytelling, and probably one of the most thrilling seasons of television in recent memory.  At best, tonight’s flash-forward signifies that Gilligan and his writing staff have a story mapped out for this summer’s eight episodes, and most likely the rest of the series.  At worst, we have a show that’s locked into an ending, without knowing how to get there.

Given how little time this show has left, I sincerely hope it’s the former… but we’ll have to see.  As we head into this final stretch, nothing is more important to me than knowing that the show has an endgame… which is very important for serialized shows, and especially important for shows that know exactly when they’re going to end.  (For example, Lost knew its end date three years in advance… and yet Lindelof and Cuse couldn’t devise an ending that could pay off that much build-up.)  But Breaking Bad has always had an expiration date on it: either by way of Walt’s potential demise as a result of his actions, or the always-lingering threat of cancer. (Certainly, that cough in the Denny’s bathroom could not have been a throwaway moment.)  Because of the fact that there are only 16 episodes left, Breaking Bad has a tremendous opportunity to stick the landing and give us the ending that the show – and its audience – deserves.  Let’s hope it pulls it off. :-)

Random notes:

• If you’re interested in joining our Breaking Bad journey, you may be happy to know that Netflix added the fourth season to their streaming selection today.  If you can plow through all 46 episodes of Seasons 1-4 in the very near future – plus whatever episodes from Season 5 you’ll need to watch – I will give you a gold star. J
• “He knows.”
• The scene of Hank in the burned-out lab was epically filmed.  I will miss the scenes in the lab, though… that was one heck of a set.
• “Keys. It’s the universal symbol for ‘keys’.”
• Mike’s alias: Inspector Dave Clark, like in the Dave Clark Five. (That may have been before your time.)
• “Did you just use the word ‘ethically’ in a sentence?”
• Saul was on fire with the pop culture references: first by invoking Hogan’s Heroes in front of Skyler, then whipping out “I’m your huckleberry” from Tombstone when Walt came to his office.
• Although I have DVR'ed it, I have not yet fast-forwarded through tonight's post-Breaking Bad premiere of their new reality show Small Town Security to check out the promo for next week's Breaking Bad and the 4-minute preview trailer for Season 3 of The Walking Dead. You think I was going to sit through that in full to get the goods on the shows I actually watch? Nuh-uh, AMC!
• Here’s a sneak peek scene from next week’s episode, courtesy of AMC. See you next Sunday!

Futurama, Episode 7.05: “Zapp Dingbat”

The date was May 28, 1998. I was a whopping 13 years old, and a week prior, I had just graduated from grade school, back when that was still a thing. My family was in the house for our noon dinner... and yes, out in the country, we call lunch “dinner” and dinner “supper”, just so y’all know.  For some inexplicable reason, our TV was on NBC and Days of Our Lives instead of my mother’s preferred daytime channel, CBS.  (Although, to be fair, her favorite soap opera, The Young and the Restless, had already aired that day.)  As we were waiting for dinner to be ready, I was lounging in the living room, either minding my own business or just being bored. (Most likely, it was the latter.) And then, John Williams’ NBC News Special Report music abruptly cut in – the kind of news music that just screams, “Uh oh, this can NOT be good.” And, from a pop culture perspective, it most definitely wasn’t, as Tom Brokaw reported that Phil Hartman had just been shot to death by his wife, who then proceeded to take her own life.

Even more so than the death of Hartman’s SNL colleague Chris Farley just five months earlier, Hartman’s death was a tremendous loss, even for a young lad like myself.  Growing up, I experienced the later years of his 8-year run on SNL, enjoying such characters and impersonations as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, Bill Clinton, and Frank Sinatra.  But I was even more knowledgeable with his work on The Simpsons, where he voiced the highly familiar actor Troy McClure and one of pop culture's most incompetent lawyers, Lionel Hutz.  Impressed with what he added to The Simpsons, Matt Groening offered him a role on his new animated Fox series Futurama: that of 25-star general Zapp Brannigan.  However, Hartman's death prevented him from ever recording any episodes, and his role was subsequently given to Billy West, who also voices Fry, Professor Farnsworth, and Dr. Zoidberg.

And so, every time I see Zapp Brannigan on Futurama, I can’t help but think of what could have been.  Now, this is not meant as a demerit against Billy West: in fact, West’s Zapp is an excellent version of Hartman, and the Phil-like gusto just beams through every line. Even during tonight’s episode, I would’ve loved to hear Hartman work such dialogue as “Zapp, you magnificent bastard!” and “Kif, return fire… and the cake.” In tonight’s episode, Zapp provides a lot of comic energy and dimwitted confidence, as he falls passionately in love with Leela’s mother… to Leela’s sheer disgust.

But wait, how did we get there?  Well, the episode begins with a 40^th anniversary celebration for Leela’s parents, Morris and Munda, where we learn of their collegiate back-story: at Brown University, she majored in exolinguistics (the study of alien languages), and he was a clueless sewer surfer.  But, in a scene that is reminiscent of the disintegration of Milhouse’s parents’ marriage on The Simpsons, Munda snaps at how Morris essentially ruined her career goals, instead forcing her into a life in “the lucrative pot-roast-making field”.  After a wonderfully swift divorce, Munda is revved up to rejoin the dating scene.  And so, during a night out at the Mos Def Cantina, Munda’s language skills gain new life, as she manages to defuse an intergalactic war from breaking out between our world and the Carcarons.  You see, Zapp Brannigan decided to ignore the alien translator device and speak to the Carcarons directly. However, in true Zapp fashion, Zapp mangles the word for “congratulations” with the word for “spank your sister with bologna”.  But, Munda steps in, speaks to the Carcarons to correct Zapp’s error, and makes things right.  Before you know it, Zapp has hired Munda as her personal translator, and they’re madly in love.  (Zapp can’t help but appreciate “the cold, lifeless touch of her tentacle on my body”.)

Now, given what we know of Leela and Zapp’s history, the concept of Leela being disgusted by her mom’s new beau is highly viable… and the script kicks it up a notch by having Leela make the ultimate sacrifice: by trotting out the lingerie, working the stripper pole (well, her mom’s pole, that is), and thrusting herself upon Zapp at her apartment, in the hopes that Munda will catch them in the act and break up with him. But, it backfires majorly, as Zapp uses the opportunity to propose to Munda.  This leads to the third-act marriage ceremony on Zapp’s ship, where Zapp uses his captain powers to officiate his own marriage.  But, all falls apart when the Carcarons meet to sign the peace treaty, but learn that Zapp had every intention of going to war against them.  Enter Morris, who stowed away via the Planet Express ship’s sewer tank… and who manages to save the day, and remarry with Munda, by way of his surfing skills.

Morris is responsible for the episode’s best running gag, as he responds to life as a divorcee by becoming a ridiculously mellow surfer.  This leads to a hilarious montage where he invites Fry and Bender to catch some of the world’s biggest sewer waves, including halftime of the Rose Bowl, Carnival in Rio de Janiero, and St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin.  The St. Patrick’s Day scene is priceless, as Bender steals a pot of gold from a group of leprechauns, whom Morris manages to disintegrate into a bunch of Lucky Charms.  The joke returns with a vengeance in the third act, when Morris surfs El Torito and IHOP.  It's a simple joke, and perhaps a tired one, but leave it to the Futurama folks to find a way to energize it.

But two strong scenes and a great runner doesn't mean that the episode's entirely great. Sewer surfing notwithstanding, the sewer-life scenes on the series have always struck me as a bit one-note, and that manifests itself here tonight, too. (For example, they went to Brown University... get it? Brown University!!!)   And the episode’s finale, where Morris uses his surfing skills to operate the ship’s auxiliary controls, is awfully forced.  But, as in most episodes, we’ve got to get back to square one somehow. That's TV Comedy 101 right there! (Although, when we ended last week's episode, Calculon was still dead... will that stick? I hope not.)

Random notes:

• Here is the link to Comedy Central’s first Futurama Live! video chat, which was broadcast on comedycentral.com immediately after tonight’s episode.  It features Matt Groening, David X. Cohen, Billy West, John DiMaggio, and Maurice LaMarche.
• You get George Takei to appear as himself (or, in Futurama tradition, his disembodied head), and he only utters three words? Well, it’s better than nothing, I guess. (I want to believe that the reduced budget for the show’s Comedy Central return is responsible for the lack of guest voices.)
• Bender lost two straight hands – his actual hands – to The Borax Kid: “I don’t really have any use for these, but you can’t have them back.”
• I loved Zapp’s request to have Kif re-enact the Twilight Zone episode “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” on the ship’s wing.
• And now, enjoy the comedic stylings of Nixon & Agnew!!!
• Next week: Futurama takes on performance-enhancing drugs. Comedy Central already set a high bar with South Park’s “Up the Down Steroid”, so Fry and his buddies had better BRING IT. :-)
• But wait, there's more: If you enjoy animated TV series (and given you're reading this, you just might, be sure to join us this Sunday night, when we'll start covering the [adult swim] series Black Dynamite!!!

Talking Dead: The Walking Dead Season 3 Preview Special

Since its debut in October 2010, The Walking Dead has been AMC’s undisputable savior.  Sure, AMC has had an incredible streak of original scripted programming, including such towering TV greats as Mad Men and Breaking Bad. (Heck, I’ll even vouch for the dearly-departed Rubicon!) But The Walking Dead has been the channel’s breakout hit, pulling in record ratings for basic cable while cultivating a rabid fan base composed of both longtime fans of the Robert Kirkman graphic novel, as well as full-fledged Walking Dead newbies.

Now, AMC certainly knows that it has a ginormous hit on their hands… and in the past year or so, it’s become painfully evident to viewers that AMC intends to milk their cash cow dry.  It began just months after the first-season finale, in March 2011, when AMC and Anchor Bay released a quick, nearly-bare-bones version of Season 1 on DVD and Blu-ray… only to release a jam-packed Season 1 Special Edition the following October.   Then, AMC announced that it was planning to split The Walking Dead’s thirteen-episode second season into two batches: the six-episode first half aired in October and November (to tie in with AMC’s annual FearFest), followed by a 2.5-month hiatus, with the final seven episodes starting in February.  (Now, one would think that a huge break in the airing schedule would cause the show to lose momentum, but in fact, the show’s midseason premiere garnered the series’ biggest ratings to date... only to be topped by the season finale itself!)

On top of that, The Walking Dead has been used a platform to increase and promote AMC’s other original programming.  If you wanted to see a clip from next week’s episode of The Walking Dead, then you’d have to watch the episode of Hell on Wheels or Kevin Smith’s reality show Comic Book Men in order to get it. (In fact, AMC is pulling this trick again next week: In order to see the premiere of the 4-minute Season 3 trailer, you’ll have to endure the premiere of AMC’s crappy-looking new reality program, Small Town Security.  At least I can DVR the show and fast-forward through all the cameltoe.)

And then there’s Talking Dead.  Starting with the Season 2 premiere, AMC decided to stretch out the viewing experience of The Walking Dead by putting together a live post-episode discussion series hosted by Nerdist podcaster (and current pop-culture emissary) Chris Hardwick.  The setup is simple: cast and crew members from The Walking Dead, along with random celebrity fans (such as Patton Oswalt, Kevin Smith, and Zachary Levi), sit down for 30 minutes to discuss the Walking Dead episode that just aired.  It’s nothing revolutionary, but it’s certainly enticed fans to stick around on AMC after their weekly zombie fix…

…which brings us to tonight, and this weekend on AMC in general.  Season 3 is currently in production down in Atlanta, so to tide us over until the season premiere in October, AMC has put together the “Season 3 Preview Weekend”, in which they re-ran the series’ first two seasons (19 episodes total) marathon-style, leading into a special hour-long Season 3 preview episode of Talking Dead, followed by a special black-and-white airing of the pilot. On one hand, I was excited to see some juicy sneak peeks of Season 3 on tonight’s Talking Dead… but let’s be honest here: what we got was a painfully stretched-out hour of television, aimed at giving us as little of substance as possible while still ensuring that we kept our eyeballs glued to the TV for 60 minutes or so.

Let’s get the good stuff out of the way first: The Michonne scene was absolutely worth it. Even though it was only a meager 54 seconds long, it delivered the gory, katana-wielding goods.  At least AMC had the good sense to air a scene that they knew would get the fan base rabid and excited. Here’s a random YouTube capture of the scene in question; if it’s missing by the time you read this, I’m sure there will be a zillion copies on the Internet:

In second place was the tour of the prison set with Steven Yuen (aka Glen).  I’ve gotta say that the Walking Dead production team has cooked up a heck of an elaborate set (Hardwick and Yuen were keen to point out the blood spatter on the walls).  The other segments from Hardwick’s week on the Atlanta set (including visits with makeup guru Greg Nicotero, the show’s propmaster, and a brief moment with Laurie Holden) were alright, but the set tour dwarfed them all.

However, all that aforementioned footage took up no more than 10 minutes of tonight’s 45-minute program.  The rest was a classic case study in diversion tactics and padding for time.  Sure, there were a few, extremely sporadic juicy tidbits: for example, Merle’s returning in Season 3! (And he’s full of “anger and racism”!) But Hardwick’s continued visible frustrations at asking Glen Mazzara, Gale Anne Hurd, and Peter Alpert for insight into Season 3 – and the non-answers he received in the process – didn’t make for compelling television.  And then, there was tonight’s celebrity super-fan… Drew Carey!?!??! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m quite fond of Drew Carey from his Drew Carey Show/Whose Line? days, but he seemed a wee bit out of place here.  The low point was when Carey mentioned that he gave up on Lost because that show’s characters made stupid decisions… something which he claimed the characters on The Walking Dead never do.  I’ll refrain from any further comment. ;-)

Plus, there were all the plugs for Walking Dead merchandise: the 2013 video game; Wednesday’s 100^th issue of the Kirkman comic (complete with eight – count ‘em, eight! – collectible covers!); the exclusive Comic-Con obstacle course cover; other promotions for the show’s Comic-Con appearance this coming weekend… you get the picture.  Like I said, I'm very aware that the show is a cash cow, and I am aware that the hour we watched tonight was nothing more than a commercial for the new season, but I didn't need the entire show to feel like an advertisement. (Although, in their defense, AMC has to pull in a bunch of money to pay for Mad Men somehow...)

Maybe I'm being a wee bit too hard on tonight's Talking Dead episode... in fact, I'd say I certainly am. But still, I couldn't help but want a decent amount of substance.  Perhaps if AMC didn't feel the need to rush a preview special onto the air as soon as possible, and waited a month of so, when they would've had more episodes of The Walking Dead in the can, it could've been something special. But for now, I'll just rewatch those 54 seconds over and over again. I mean, that slice-and-dice sound mix is pretty awesome, you know... :-)

Random notes:

• FYI: Season 3, which (again) will begin airing in October, is going to be 16 episodes long! Given the traditional cable TV season for a scripted series is 13 episodes, that’s a staggering vote of confidence by AMC.
• I don’t plan on discussing the black-and-white version of the pilot… mainly because it was on the Season 1 Special Edition DVD and Blu-ray that came out last October.  (The black-and-white version, which was meant to emulate the comic book, was put together by the show’s creator, Frank Darabont for the video release; Darabont did something similar for the DVD release of his 2007 flick The Mist.)
• I can’t believe that Chris Hardwick made a Shawshank joke during tonight’s show, given AMC’s attempts to distance Shawshank director Frank Darabont from the series he created... and which he was unceremoniously fired from last summer. Hopefully, they won’t fire Hardwick, too, as a result of his gaffe. ;-)
• Speaking of Frank Darabont: His new cable series, L.A. Noir, which stars Shane himself, Jon Bernthal, is expected to get a series order very soon over at TNT. (And no, the series has nothing to do with that video game from a couple of years back... just so you know.)
• Chris Hardwick with a machine gun… that is all.
• Seriously, just a single still picture of David Morrissey as the Governor? Let’s hope next week’s trailer gives us a more substantial peek… let’s hope.
• Season 4: The Game of Thrones/Walking Dead crossover you’ve all been waiting for! ;-)
• Another quotable phrase from Chris Hardwick: “serious nerd boners”.
• We’ll be returning to AMC next week to begin coverage of the fifth and final season of Breaking Bad. Please join us!

True Blood, Episode 5.05: "Let’s Boot and Rally"

“Took you long enough,” utters an in-the-flesh Russell Edgington at the tail end of tonight’s episode. And indeed, it took a while: we’re now 5 episodes through a 12-episode season, and tonight’s installment – particularly the final 20 minutes – really gave me the sense that we’re finally heading into the meat of the season, as the point and purpose of various plot threads began to make themselves clear.  We’re on the cusp of payoff… and tonight’s episode was a glorious tease of what’s coming ‘round the bend.

Tonight’s episode had a nice sense of immediacy, because it takes place within the span of a handful of hours. Now, that was primarily to set up the suspense of Bill and Eric’s need to find Russell before dawn… or risk the activation of their iStakes. (Yay for arbitrary ticking clocks!) However, if there was one downside to the narrow timeframe, it was how quickly Sookie came back around to Bill and Eric, after her epic denouncement of her two suitors in the Season 4 finale.  In fact, given the brevity of tonight’s episode (44 minutes, without credits), it may not have hurt to spend a wee bit more screen time for Sookie to acknowledge where they had left things off… especially since Bill and Eric’s return interrupted Sookie and Alcide in the heat of passion.  Sookie did get some clever lines in, acknowledging the vicious cycle she’s in – “A 3,000-year-old vampire wants to suck my blood! Must be Thursday!” and “Onwards into the jaws of death!”

Sookie’s usefulness is quite helpful tonight, as she takes a peek inside the head of Doug, the construction site manager who became an unwitting accomplice to Russell’s revival.  Sookie’s exploration uncovers two key things: a female member of the authority dug Russell out of his concrete grave, after which Doug carried Russell to the Babcock Hospital, a former insane asylum.  And so Sookie, Bill, Eric, Alcide, and a perpetually-frightened Doug head to the asylum, where we quickly see evidence of Russell’s recuperation – a hearty pile of drained bodies with rats crawling all over them.  If that weren’t enough, a room in the asylum uncovers a bunch of still-alive humans, hanging in straitjackets, waiting for Russell to take a drink.   A helpful, albeit freaked-out-of-his-mind, prisoner points the gang toward the room where Russell is… and in the episode’s final scene, we find Russell on a hospital bed, still looking somewhat weak. But it quickly becomes apparent that Russell has more than a few tricks up his sleeve… beginning with the swift capture of Alcide.

It’s weird to see True Blood head into such spooky territory; for a show that’s so focused on gore and sex, I’m not used to its attempts to provide some horror. Granted, it felt a bit awkward – the whole creepy-insane-asylum setting felt made it easy to mistake the Sookie gang for the Scooby Gang.  Still, it was a somewhat interesting change of place… and the brief, brief glimpse of Russell was a delicious tease for what’s to come.  The show’s finished the build-up; now we just need the payoff… and it had better come next week in spades.

The second most significant plot of the night, surprisingly, belong to Terry and Patrick, as we finally found out what the heck their story’s purpose is.  As it turns out, last week’s Iraq massacre flashback had one unintended – albeit clichéd – consequence: One of the Iraqi folks that was shot wasn’t quite dead yet.  Patrick orders Terry to shoot her and finish the job, but before he does, the woman places a curse on the soldiers: she sends upon them an ifrit, which is basically a fire-and-smoke evil spirit.  Now, if it weren’t enough to place a curse on poor Terry, we get a pissed-off version of the Smoke Monster from Lost, too!  And, fortunately enough, we get our first moment of the ifrit in action: Terry and Patrick manage to get Eller, their captor, to let them go… but Patrick knocks Eller unconscious and ties him to a chair in the bunker… where the ifrit seeps in and turns Eller into a Post Toastie.

Probably my favorite scene of the episode, believe it or not, came from the Tara plot! (Cue shocked gasps!)  Recognizing her bartending skills from Merlotte’s, Pam has installed Tara as the bartender at Fangtasia.  And wouldn’t you know it, one of Tara’s first customers is Jessica… which leads to a nicely-written scene where the two ladies compare notes on their transitions into vampire-hood, and even contemplate being vampire girlfriends! (Aww…) It’s a nice sequence that really helps to make the vampire experience seem a bit more tangible and accessible… and it also helped for Jessica to recollect on her vampire experiences and provide sage advice. (I still find it a bit hard to believe that Jessica’s been a vampire since the tail end of Season 1!) However, Tara and Jessica’s mutual appreciation doesn’t last, as they face off in a fierce battle sequence in the bathroom after Jessica finds that Tara is feeding on Hoyt in the stall… and yes, Hoyt is still looking like the world’s weirdest fangbanger.

The other plot threads were short-shrifted tonight… although story-wise, they didn’t have much to offer anyways.  Jason’s He-Man-Footie-Pajamas Dream seemed to be another setup for the inevitable storyline where Jason will investigate The Real Cause of His Parents’ Death.  As for Sam, it was nice to see him with some core cast members for once, as Jason and Andy come over to investigate the scene of last week’s (or, to use series chronology, that night’s) shape-shifter shooting.  It was nice to see Sam’s portion of the show gain some momentum, as both Sam and Nora are shot at the episode’s end by some sort of anti-shifter group wielding shotguns and wearing Obama masks.  (Given the recent chaos that stemmed from Game of Thrones’ use of Bush masks, the HBO executive have got to be scared shitless about how people will interpret tonight’s ending. Yay controversy?)  Oh, and lest we forget, we got a Jesús appearance tonight! Yes, even though it was his severed, mouth-sewn-up head, he still came by to provide some sort of sign to Lafayette (and his mama!) to combat the brujo demon that took over him last week.  Hopefully, this side plot will get some traction really soon… especially since next week is the midpoint of the season.

If nothing else, tonight’s episode gave the season some much-needed momentum… and I have high hopes for next week’s episode – partially because it was written by True Blood creator Alan Ball (creator-penned episodes are always a giveaway as to their significance), and partially because it was aggressively played up by HBO’s promo department after the end of tonight’s show.  It won’t be too hard for next week to deliver the best episode of the season so far – so let’s hope it does just that!

Random notes:

• I wonder how much Arlene’s CGI hand cost in order to cover up Andy’s junk. (The eerily precise hand movement was a dead giveaway.)
• Did I hear that Bill and Eric went to the Kwik-E-Mart? I hope they said hi to Apu for me. ;-)
• The Authority’s janitorial staff must be pretty experienced in blood-stain clean-up.
• We be talkin’ about transubstantiation up in the Authority tonight! YEAHHHHHHH!
• “Are we gonna talk about the fact that I puked on your shoes?” “NOPE.”
• “I have a headache, and I gotta pee something fierce!”
• In the words of Eller, look Ifrit up! F***ing Google it!
• How soon into next week’s episode will Doug bite the big one? I encourage you to place your bets now.  (I’ll guess 12 minutes into the episode… although I won’t exclude a possibility of a cold-opening demise.)
• So, here’s the plan for the next several weeks: the True Blood review won’t go up until Monday night, likely, because I’ll likely be watching Breaking Bad immediately afterwards.  And, since it’s very likely that I’ll be giving write-up priority to Breaking Bad, True Blood might have to suffer as a result.  Perhaps I’ll be really ambitious and get a True Blood review up Sunday night yet (especially if it’s really, really good)… but again, I’ll make no promises.

Futurama, Episode 7.04: "The Thief of Baghead"

This week’s Futurama episode review begins with an elaborate, and perhaps useless, backstory… but I can assure you that there’s a payoff here somewhere. :-) During Easter weekend back in April, as I was sifting through various pop culture-related Internet items, I came across an episode of Chris Hardwick’s podcast The Nerdist that I found irresistible: a 75-minute chat with Rob Paulsen and Maurice LaMarche. You might not know these guys’ names, but you’re probably familiar with their work: Paulsen and LaMarche voiced Pinky and the Brain, respectively, on Fox’s 1993 weekday animated series Animaniacs… and were so successful that they ultimately managed to secure their own spinoff, Pinky and the Brain, on the then-fledgling WB Network.  To listen to these two guys talk for well over an hour about the many voices they’ve done, and the multitude of series they’ve been a part of, was something that I couldn’t pass up.

Now, while Paulsen has many awesome credits to his name (including fellow Animaniac Yakko Warner, and Raphael from the classic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series), it was LaMarche’s presence that particularly excited me.  Sure, the Brain is an iconic voice… but it’s a variation on LaMarche’s priceless impression of Orson Welles, which has appeared in works as diverse as Tim Burton’s Ed Wood (where LaMarche overdubbed a young Vincent D’Onofrio!), a 2010 episode of Futurama which riffed on Welles’ War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and most uproariously, the mid-1990s ABC/Fox animated series The Critic, which frequently depicted Welles in his later years, where Welles was apt to sell himself out for any and every product endorsement he was offered.

On Futurama, La Marche provides a hearty stable of voices, including Morbo the newscaster, Kif Kroker, Clamps, and Lrr, a.k.a. RULES OF OMNICRON PERSEI 8!!! Fortunately, last night’s episode of Futurama provided a more-than-ample showcase for LaMarche, as he got to gloriously over-act as both Langdon Cobb, the supposedly greatest actor in the world, and as everyone’s favorite robot soap opera actor, Calculon!  In fact, Calculon kicks off the episode with a segment from All My Circuits, where he confronts his soap-opera family:

Calculon: “It seems someone in this room… is a murderer!”
Calculon’s Family: [shocked gasps]
Calculon: (nonchalantly) “It’s me. But the real question is… Which of you is the victim? And that secret, I shall take to my grave!” [Calculon stabs self]

But alas, the Planet Express gang quickly proceeds to the aquarium, where the gang views exhibits such as Jurassic Tank… which is essentially a huge tank where a T-Rex struggles to stay above water.  (It’s a priceless visual gag in and of itself… but I have to give bonus points to the Futurama folks for adding a John Hammond-esque character to sell the moment.)  At the aquarium, Bender comes across Calculon in the robotic flesh, and proceeds to snap a slew of photos of his favorite actor, unwittingly coming across as a paparazzo in the process.  Of course, Bender isn’t trying to be a member of the paparazzi… until Zoidberg shows Bender his copy of Us People magazine, and mentions how much money his pictures could make.  Before the end of the first act, Bender’s in Hollywood at the Us People offices, hoping to make bank.

And make bank he does, as he captures lewd (yet lucrative) photos of Selena Go-Bot and Parts Hilton embarrassing themselves... usually with Bender’s help. (Seriously, Futurama writers… a Paris Hilton joke? Couldn’t we try to be a little less dated?) But, Bender is soon given his most difficult task: to capture a photo of legendary actor Langdon Cobb’s face. Sure, it seems like a simple task… until we realize that Cobb has never been seen in public without his trademark paper bag over his head.  Bender’s more than up for the task, and actually manages to infiltrate Cobb’s mansion to get a picture… but Cobb implores Bender to destroy the picture, or risk the consequences.  Of course, Bender doesn’t do, and proceeds to show Fry, Amy, and Hermes the picture of Cobb… which imminently sucks the soul – I mean, LIFE FORCE! – out of their bodies.

Professor Farnsworth proceeds to give us some hackneyed exposition: Cobb is from the planet Bryora Six, home of the quantum lichen people. It turns out that Cobb is composed of a algae id and a fungal ego… the latter of which stores the life forces of all those who are shown Cobb’s face (or even a picture of him).  So, our heroes devise a plan to weaken Cobb’s ego and release the souls: by facing Cobb against Calculon in the World Acting Championship, where Calculon will attempt to stage the ultimate death scene by using food coloring – “the most poisonous substance known to robots!” – and actually dying on stage.  And so, the third act features some hilarious over-acting, as Cobb unloads a Boston police officer’s eulogy and Calculon re-enacts Romeo’s death scene from will.i.am Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Ultimately, Cobb wins the acting competition… inflating his ego to dangerous size. Fortunately, Bender attempts to solve the problem by showing Cobb his own portrait… ultimately causing his ego to violently explode, returning our heroes’ life forces to their buddies.

Although “The Thief of Baghead” starts strong, it does tend to run into some lulls once the major plot kicks in.  While Langdon Cobb is a well-done take on actors’ snootiness (is it me, or did he sound an awful lot like Kevin Kline?), the character isn’t really funny… which drags the last two acts down.  As for Calculon, his scenes are pretty much on point; I mean, how can you fail with a deliriously Shatner-like robot actor?  But locking him into Romeo and Juliet limits the finale’s creativity; given the hilariously sharp and subversive writing of the All My Circuits opening, the Futurama writing staff could’ve crafted a heck of an over-the-top death scene.  It also doesn’t help that a good chunk of the cast is taken out of play for half of the episode; why you’d want to do without Fry’s idiocy for that long of the episode, I have no idea.

I’d have to say that this week’s Futurama is a mixed effort: it certainly contains a fair number of laughs, but it pales in comparison to the high Futurama standards we're accustomed to.  Next week will apparently be a Zapp Brannigan showcase, though… that certainly will be hard to mess up. But we’ll just have to wait and see…

Random notes:

• Happy belated Fourth of July, everyone! Usually, networks choose not to air original programming on major holidays… but apparently, Comedy Central felt that our nation’s birthday wouldn’t be complete without a new Futurama adventure, so here we are!
• “August is Shark Week!”
• What I wouldn’t give for a They Live camera lens… speaking of which, I loved how a lot of the plot revolved around Bender’s appreciation for camera film in the year 3012, even though film is already an endangered species in 2012. (Of course Bender would be his own darkroom... of course!)
• Langdon Cobb: Winner of 7 Academy Awards for Best Actor… and 2 for Best Actress! (There’s a great callback later in the episode, when Calculon is announced as a 7-time Oscar runner-up.)
• “Once again, television has given me a reason to live!”
• “I’m a celebrity! I can kill anyone I want!”
• Next week: Leela’s mom dates Zapp Brannigan. Hilarity should ensue… I hope!

True Blood, Episode 5.04: "We’ll Meet Again"

It’s kind of refreshing that a good chunk of tonight’s episode revolved around how sick and tired Sookie Stackhouse is of all this show’s craziness.  Maybe, just maybe, I can’t help but think that this is the show’s recognition of how long-in-the-tooth True Blood has gotten… but then again, I seriously doubt they’ll stop the madness anytime soon.. especially when we've got a possessed car, a fairie nightclub, and a nice and juicy True Death scene to indulge in tonight.

As the episode starts, Sookie’s frustration stems from the cover-up of Debbie’s death, and how she can’t bear to have it on her conscience anymore.  Having just told Alcide about it at the end of last week’s episode, Sookie receives some stern words from Lafayette, that she’s “the f***ing Angel of Death.” Nonetheless, Sookie’s guilt forces herself to get her involvement in Debbie’s death out in the open, which is why she turns herself into Jason.  At that time, Sookie also informs him (and Jessica, who’s also present) that Tara has been turned into a vampire, which freaks Jason out.  In fact, pretty much everyone else finds out about Tara’s shiny new vampire status tonight, including Bill and Eric. Having been released by the Authority to hunt down Russell, they head down to Fangtasia, where Pam shows up with Tara – Pam having just rescued her new progeny from the tanning booth in tonight’s cold open.  As much as Tara wants to knock herself off, Pam pulls out the “As your maker, I command you” trick – “a card I’m surprised y’all don’t play more often”, comments Tara. (Again, it's nice to know that the show's willing to get all meta on us.)

Continuing from last week, the maker/makee threads still come into play, on both fronts. On the Tara/Pam side, Pam gives Tara her first human to feed from… and although Tara refuses, Pam again commands Tara to do as she says.  As for Pam and her maker, Eric, they’re initially at odds tonight, as Eric tries to determine if Pam is responsible for revealing that Russell is still alive.  Of course, she’s not… but at that time, Pam argues that Eric should release her as his maker, given their various issues.  Later on, Eric is apt to tell Pam that things aren’t going to end well for him and Bill – either they’ll die trying to capture Russell, and even if they succeed, they’ll be executed by the Authority for treason.  So, Eric releases Pam… primarily to ensure that he is able to leave something resembling a legacy.

On the housekeeping front tonight, the episode was very aggressive in wrapping up the Debbie plot.  First, there was Alcide telling Debbie’s parents that Marcus killed her (and that Alcide’s killing of Marcus was motivated as revenged for her death), which is enough to get them scurrying out of town. Debbie’s dad’s freak-out was a nice touch, but still, you get the idea that this needed to be wrapped up.  Even more along those lines was the following scene of Jessica glamouring Andy into forgetting the Debbie case… to the extent where Andy can’t even remember her name anymore.  Perhaps this was a wee bit too tidy, but it gets the job done.  Heck, the show’s got more than enough story material to tackle as is… why not get one loose thread off the books?

Speaking of Andy, let’s discuss the episode’s wackiest subplot, in which Andy and Jason are invited by the judge for a night out on the town, as a thank-you for absolving the judge’s son’s ticket.  Where they end up is a fairie nightclub (a set that surely must have broken the episode’s budget), where Jason and Andy meet some familiar faces... including Hadley, Jason’s cousin, who ominously warns Jason that Sookie needs to be taken in and hidden from the vampires immediately, or else she’ll suffer the same fate that Sookie and Jason’s parents did.  Problem is, Jason had no idea that vampires killed his folks… and before he can learn more, Andy and Jason are kicked out.  Are we due for an exciting Stackhouse flashback later on this season?  We’ll just have to see…

And to be honest, this season’s been pretty gracious with the flashbacks so far: first, two weeks of Eric and Pam turn-of-the-20^th-century goodness, and now tonight provided us with a Terry/Patrick flashback to Iraq, where we finally get some sort of idea as what their plotline is about.  Turns out the man they’re visiting, Eller, initiated an accidental Iraqi civilian massacre on the Fourth of July (nice timing, HBO!)… which still haunts Terry to this day.  And so, Terry and Patrick head to this man’s ranch in west-river South Dakota, where they find an underground bunker with a freaky, fiery mural, plenty of fire-starting materials… and Eller’s shotgun pointed at their faces. Cliffhanger!!!

Meanwhile, on the Authority front, Nora’s still stuck in the interrogation room, and Nora’s willing to die for her cause. However, Roman forces Nora’s hand by threatening to activate Bill and Eric’s iStakes.  (No iStake app in the App Store as of yet… just so you know.) She ultimately reveals that Alexander, the kid vampire, is the traitor within the Authority’s midst.  As amusing (aibeit unsettling) as it was to see a hundreds-year-old vampire in a little boy’s body, it was a heck of a lot of fun to see Roman deploy the Sacred Vampire Judas Tree Stake on him, creating a nice, splattery mess of blood. (Yes, you can kill a kid on HBO... as long as he’s a vampire!) It’s a nice enough twist on one of our most hallowed villain clichés: the early moment where the big villain demonstrates just how villainous he is – but it’s a moment that the show needed, and not a moment later, in my opinion… and it doesn’t hurt that Christopher Meloni gets to deliver it while drenched in blood.

Finally, let’s circle back to Sookie, who  spends the second half of the episode in a drunken stupor.  Why’s that?  Well, Lafayette went all demon-y on Sookie’s car, levitating it and ultimately cursing it.  It doesn’t pay off well for Sookie later on, when she loses control of her rapid accelerating car.  Fortunately, she leaps out before it crashes into a tree… but the accident pushes Sookie to drink at home like crazy, resulting in Anna Paquin singing along to “The Pina Colada Song” and making out at the end of the episode with Alcide… while Bill and Eric watch.  As it turns out, Eric and Bill are contemplating enlisting Sookie in their pursuit of Russell… whether she wants to or not.  Given how Sookie wants nothing to do with them at this point of time, hopefully this will make for some nice post-Fourth-of-July fireworks next week. 

Random notes:

• Boy, the Authority sure is obsessed with their Apple technology, aren’t they?  They must have a stockpile of Macbooks in the back…
• …just like Fangtasia has an inexhaustible supply of complimentary T-shirts: Just like Sookie before her, Tara sheds her bloody clothes in exchange for a Fangtasia T-shirt.
• I didn't touch on Sam's plot in the main review, but certainly the murder of his old shapeshifter buddies will lead into something bigger.  You know, it would be nice if Sam could be brought into a relevant plotline again... but I digress.
• Some of you True Blood fans may have noticed that Joe Manganiello, who plays Alcide, is in this weekend’s new Steven Soderbergh film, Magic Mike (aka “The Channing Tatum Stripper Movie”). Manganiello plays one of Tatum’s fellow strippers, named… wait for it… Big Dick Richie. (And if you see the movie, you'll find out just why he's named that.)
• Just a heads-up, scheduling-wise: Starting July 15^th, True Blood reviews may not go up late Sunday night, as they have been so far.  The reason for this is because we have two additional shows starting up that night that we’ll be covering: Breaking Bad, which will begin the first half of its fifth and final season, and the brand-new [adult swim] series Black Dynamite, based on the 2009 cult comedy classic.  I’m still not sure what will be posted on Sunday night, but I can assure you that whatever isn’t posted on Sunday night will be posted on Monday night… so bear with us, and bask in the goodness of quality summer television. :-) 
• Next week: “A 3,000-year-old vampire wants to suck my blood! Must be Thursday!” Or, for us, Sunday. ;-)