Breaking Bad, Episode 5.03: "Hazard Pay"

How many episodes should a single season of a serialized drama have? It's a question that's caused plenty of debate for quite some time, and which has become a hotly debated topic in the wake of the slew of successful dramas on premium cable and basic cable. Many of these series - The Sopranos, The Shield, Mad Men, and yes, Breaking Bad - have employed 13-episode seasons, which were primarily a result of the limited financial resources that cable networks had. However, the unintended benefit of this was that the shorter season mandated a tighter narrative, with less filler and more relevance per episode. It stands in stark contrast to the traditional broadcast network TV season, which ranges from 22 to 24 episodes in length. However, it's very hard to maintain a overarching plotline for a full network season. Take 24, which very structure required the show come up with a continuous 24-hour plot line that would stretch the entire season.  However, as fans of the show know, 24's original plot for the season would usually run out of gas after 12 to 15 episodes... requiring a significant plot reboot in order to make it to the season finale.  The other major network serialized drama of the past decade, Lost, often had to incur filler in order to fill out the first few seasons... a move which helped to frustrate fans.  When ABC brokered a deal for the final three-season pickup of Lost, showrunners Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse successfully negotiated for shorter, 16-episode seasons (down from an average of 24 episodes for the first 3 seasons), in order to concentrate on plot and higher-quality episodes.  Long story short, even the best and most popular of network series have had trouble maintaining long-term narratives.

I mention all of this because the final two seasons of Breaking Bad have a monumental challenge in front of them: to compact their traditional 13-episode style of storytelling into just 8 episodes, while at the same time heading towards an all-important endgame. Three episodes into this season, it's become very clear to me that, now more than ever, every single scene matters.  Case in point: last week's Mike-specific episode, "Madrigal". Last week, I was just overjoyed to have an episode to showcase Mike's brilliance... which is fine in itself. But, in the light of this week's episode, the purpose for "Madrigal" becomes very clear in terms of the overall narrative: it's very important for us, as an audience, to realize exactly what Mike has brought to the Gus Fring operation, and what he'll bring to Walt's new operation... because, as this episode shows us, Walt himself is too caught up in his own hubris to realize it, potentially creating his new nemesis in the process.

This week's episode kicks off with Mike back "at work"... this time, acting as the "paralegal" for the lawyer who's representing all of Gus' jailed men. Mike's visiting all of them in one day, to make sure that all Gus' men remain quiet about what's going on. The incentive: the luxurious "hazard pay" package which will ensure that them and their families will remain well-compensated for their trouble.  On one hand, the show is apt to make us aware of any and every loose end that could exist as a result of Walt's actions from last season's finale. On the other hand, this "hazard pay" will help to unravel Walt and Mike's relationship... and it's key for us to understand why it's important to the business. Because, after all, Mike runs the business, and nobody will tell him otherwise... and he makes that very, very clear to Walt and Jesse during a meeting of "the four amigos" in Saul's office. But, as the gang leaves Saul's office to tour potential new cooking sites, Walt says, "He (Mike) handles the business... and I handle him."

And with that, we head a bevy of new locales: the box factory, the tortilla factory, and even the old laser tag place from Season 3, but they're all met with rejection for Walt... for predominantly logical reasons.  And then, at the end of the day, we arrive at the Vamanos Pest garage, where Walt figures out a ludicrous, but savvy, way to cook meth: by setting up a lab in the fumigated homes of their clientele.  (Jesse chips in a helpful idea: by bringing in a medical tent similar to the one where Gus and Mike were treated near the end of Season 4.)  Sure, there's a crew that they'll have to contend with (including Landry from Friday Night Lights!!!) - a crew that's accustomed to breaking and entering into the homes they're fumigating... but Saul assures our guys that all is well. (And, to seal the deal, Mike gives a helpful talk to the Vamanos guys, to ensure that there's no stealing.) Plus, brought in to help with the restructuring effort are, of all people, Badger and Skinny Pete (!!!), who are tasked with buying big roadie cases to stash the cooking equipment in. (Gotta love that stencil job!)

With all of that in place, we finally get to go to work, as Walt and Jesse draw up plans for the portable lab. It's a nice bit of teamwork, but things quickly get awkward as Walt tries to implant some feelings of doubt in Jesse with regards to his girlfriend, Andrea, and his desire to make sure that she doesn't know anything about the operation. Then, Andrea swings by Jesse's place... with Brock in tow. Again, Walt's working the situation in order to come off as "the nice guy", remarking that Brock was "very brave" in his poisoning bout at the end of last season.  That uncomfortable silence as Walt and Brock are left alone in Jesse's living room is just great... this is a show that works best when things aren't quite right. (By episode's end, Jesse severs his relationship with Andrea, to Walt's silent satisfaction.)

We then head to Vamanos Pest's first new client, and the wonderful montage of Walt and Jesse back at work.  It's a hypnotic, wonderfully photographed, edited, and scored sequence; I had a smile on my face the entire five minutes or so; who knew that the making of meth would make me so happy? But that's the magic of Breaking Bad for you. (One harbinger of potential doom: the multiple shots of exhaust leading out from the 'fumigated' house. No doubt that will bite them in the end.)

This week also brings us the return of Marie, who meets up with Skylar at the car wash, and finds herself on the receiving end of a Skylar breakdown, complete with a cigarette and 14 increasingly loud utterances of "SHUT UP!!!" Marie wonders what's up, and confronts Walt at the White household to find out the truth. Stuck in a rut, Walt plays a potentially dangerous card: by revealing Skylar's affair with Ted Beneke. Skylar isn't handling Walt's return to the White family home, leading to the twisted scene of Walt, Walt Jr. and the baby sitting in front of the TV and watching, of all movies, Brian de Palma's 1983 remake of Scarface. Now, the symbolism may be a little bit on-the-nose here... especially since creator Vince Gilligan has repeatedly described the show as "Mr. Chips becomes Scarface". But you've gotta admit, the sheer sight of Walt watching the movie with his infant child in his arms is a little bit twisted, eh?

And then comes the big final scene of the episode, as $1,379,500 of revenue quickly diminishes, much to Walt's chagrin. I must credit the writing with making it very clear (complete with lots of figures and mathematics) where all the money is going. Some of the expenditures are sensible, such as the distribution drivers and the Vamanos Pest crew... but then, Mike takes additional money to pay for Gus' guys in jail - the "hazard pay" from the opening scene (and the episode title, natch). Walt isn't very happy that the legacy costs from Gus' operation are being paid from the new revenue... but Mike counters with the quote of the night, "Just because you shot Jesse James doesn't make you Jesse James." And there's more expenses to come... such as an increased cost for methylamine going forward. (For a complete infographic breakdown of the costs, check out this week's Breaking Bad Story Sync.) Caught up in all this mess is Jesse, who offers a larger chunk of his share to resolve the Walt-Mike conflict, but fortunately, Walt ends up chipping in his share. But, in the final shots of the episode, Walt hints at a more dangerous resolution by invoking Victor, the henchman who got his throat sliced in the Season 4 premiere, "Box Cutter"... and surmising that Mike could meet a similar fate.

For Walt to turn on Mike this early in the season is a move that certainly can't bode well... and for Walt to think that he can handle Mike simply because he could handle Gus is a nearly-maniacal thought. Remember, a good chunk of the reason why Walt was able to take out Gus last season was because Mike was out of commission during that time. But already this season, we've seen how truly dangerous Mike can be... and it adds a layer of suspense and tension to what's already a dangerous situation.

Random notes:

• AMC was very nice to air a Bryan Cranston-heavy TV spot for this Friday's remake of Total Recall. (Cranston is playing the role of Cohaagen, essayed by Ronny Cox in the 1990 original.)
• The box factory scene gave me vivid flashbacks to "Bart Gets Famous", the Season 5 episode of The Simpsons where Bart escapes a box factory field trip, only to gain a feature role on Krusty's show.
• Please don't tell me that the Scarface scene was intended to be a tie-in to AMC's Mob Week... especially since the Mob Week commercials featured Scarface clips. (On a side note, when I think of mobsters, I think of... Anthony Bourdain?!?!?)
• "Everyone dies in this movie, huh?"
• Next week: The episode title is "Fifty-One", as in Walt's 51st birthday. (You'll recall that Marie hinted at this in the car wash scene.) That can only mean that we're getting closer to Walt's 52nd birthday... mua-ha-ha-ha!!! Oh, and is that Walt breaking out the Heisenberg hat? :-D

True Blood, Episode 5.08: "Somebody That I Used to Know"

This week's True Blood marked the directing debut of Bill Compton himself, Mr. Stephen Moyer... and fortunately for him (and us), he was assigned an episode that, if nothing else, had a variety of amusing and playful moments that helped the hour move quickly.  What worked this week?

1) Luna-Sam. At episode's start, a freaked-out Luna, recovering in the hospital, uncontrollably shifts into a Sam lookalike... and can't shift back.  I rather enjoyed Sam Trammell's performance, if only because Trammell spent pretty much the entire hour in Luna mode, even when the episode could have allowed for Luna to attempt to impersonate Sam.  It's a small touch, but it certainly makes for a more humorous episode.  The episode also wasted very little time in getting Sam and Luna-Sam together, making not only for numerous freakouts from other cast members, but also that weird cuddling-on-the-couch scene near episode's end. (Let's just be thankful that the kiss on the forehead was as far as the scene went; otherwise... well, this is True Blood, so it wouldn't have surprised me if they decided to head down that path.)
2) Russell and Steve, sitting in a tree...? Our Authority members have returned from their New Orleans bender, decked out in beads and covered in blood. ("For the first time in a decade, I ate a CHILD!") And lingering in the background of this scene is the start of what appears to be some sort of connection between Russell and Reverend Steve.  Has Russell found his new Talbot? Let's hope so.
3) Bill's daddy-daughter time. Later, Salome presents Bill with a young woman as a late-night snack. As Salome eggs him on to suck her dry, we flash back to 1910 Baton Rouge, as Bill visits his grown-but-dying daughter, who begs him to make her immortal before she fades away. Bill declines, saying, "Immortality is a curse!" It's a nerve-wracking flashback, full of saddening performances, and which helps us remember Bill's connection to humanity... which hints at Bill's possible deception as the rest of the episode plays out. Snapping back to the present, Bill proceeds to feast on the human... and, signaling further possible depravity, he also devises the end-of-episode plan for the Authority's next phase: by blowing up the TruBlood factories and forcing mainstreamers to feed on humans.  It's a ballsy plan, sure; and it would be cool if this would actually come into fruition on the show... but I've gotta think that Bill has something up his sleeve.
4) The continuing adventures of Pam and Tara, Maker and Makee! And just like that, Tara's back to bartending... which is fine by me! Now, Tara meeting up with her old high-school classmate had the potential to get tiring quick, as her "buddy" quickly mocks her for being "a member of two minorities". But, Pam saves this plot thread by capturing Tracy and trapping her in the basement of Fangtasia for Tara to feed on. Awwww.... isn't that so cute (by True Blood standards)?
5) Lafayette in "I'm sick of this!" mode. Throughout this season, I've commented how numerous characters have been very vocal about how sickening and tiring their circumstances are.  Well, having just returned from last week's close-call brain extraction, Lafayette is NOT in the mood to handle any wacky goings-on... so when he steps out of the car only to confront Arlene and Holly, who want him to convince Terry that his smoke-and-fire monster visions are horse-hockey, Lafayette shuts them down. ("I'm in the fuck-off-while-I-smoke-a-blunt business, and business is about to pick the fuck up.") But, for a nominal fee, Lafayette decides to proceed with the ruse... only to realize that Terry's threat is very real when the Iraqi lady who made the curse shows up to give a message: that either Terry or Patrick must die. (My money's on Patrick dying... wouldn't you agree?) Lafayette's transition from fake-medium to holy-crap-I'm-not-playing mode is a fun little exercise in performance contrast.

So, what didn't work this episode?

1) Who killed Sookie's parents already? Come on!!!! On Sookie's section of the show, we pick up where we left her last week, as she tries to deplete her powers. Jason talks her out of it.  (Line of the night, after Jason gets accidentally blasted by Sookie: "I'm fine! You got me in the head!" Jason Stackhouse in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen!) We then segue back into the "Who murdered Sookie's parents?" plot; with the help of Sookie's fairy friends, we're treated to a much more complete vision of the night of Mr. & Mrs. Stackhouse's murder, featuring an appearance by Claudine and the reveal of the murderer's name: "Warlow". But, we're nowhere close to a resolution, which is a shame... we've only got 4 weeks to get this settled - and if Alan Ball and company decide to table this to next season, so help me, I'll... Alright, breathe... breathe... there we go. :-)
2) Still not caring about the werewolves. Well, if you would've enjoyed an Alcide sex scene, full of man-butt, then there you go... but the whole "Who will become the leader of the pack?" plot didn't carry much of a punch, because we know Alcide isn't going to kill Mr. Track Star to take the reigns... speaking of which:
3) Hoyt, Jessica, and wooden bullets. Again, when the bigots reveal that they've kidnapped Jessica in order to let Hoyt "make things right", we know darn well that Hoyt's not going to go through with it. But, oh, no, someone's pointed a gun at Hoyt now? Whatever will happen? Oh, noes!!!!

Five good parts and three bad parts... that's not a bad ratio for a Season 5 True Blood episode, wouldn't you agree? As we enter the final third of the season, hopefully this pace will keep up.

Random notes:

• FREE MUSTACHE RIDES!
• Neat twist on the interrogation-torture scene by having Sam turn into a snake.
• I loved how Sheriff Andy tried to explain Luna-Sam to Jessica: "That's his girlfriend. She turned into him. Now, she's stuck." When crazy stuff is going on in Bon Temps, Andy's line deliveries are priceless.
• Pam Line of the Night: "My mad face and my happy face are the same."
• I enjoyed the little touch of Lafayette wearing Jesus' badge in memoriam.
• Based on tonight's episode title, I thought that we were due to hear the recent Gotye hit. But nope, according to HBO's site, the song used was from the late Elliot Smith.
• Next week: Russell and Steve meet with the werewolf pack! Will the werewolf scenes be interesting for a change? Let's hope so! :-)

Futurama, Episode 7.07: "The Six Million Dollar Mon"

This week is the midpoint of our summer season of Futurama, and fortunately, we've been rewarded with a fascinatingly weird episode starring TV's most beloved bureaucrat, Hermes Conrad (with a strong assist from Dr. Zoidberg). We begin with Hermes announcing that he will be conducting performance reviews, with the caveat that the lowest-scoring Planet Express employee (Zoidberg) will be fired at sundown (Zoidberg).  But, as it turns out, Hermes concludes that he should dismiss himself, due to the uselessness of said performance reviews. Once he's fired himself, the Paul Lynde-esque head bureaucrat shows up with Hermes' replacement: the Mark 7-G robot.  But, Hermes isn't going to accept being outperformed by a machine - a feeling that is only compounded when Hermes and LaBarbara are attacked in the park by a knives-wielding Roberto.  But Url the robot cop intervenes just in time, taking down Roberto with his chest harpoon.

After that experience, Hermes (with Bender's help) heads down to the murkier area of the city, where he engages in some black market "body augmentation".  At first, he starts simple, with a chest harpoon.  But as Hermes continues to find himself inadequate in comparison to Mark 7-G, he adds more and more robot body parts: from an extendo-arm to a cylon eye.  Before you know it, nearly all of Hermes' body has become robotic, save for his brain. (Bender is alternatively amazed - "A machine that can bend? No way!" - and teed-off - "Nice shiny metal ass!")

Now, that's a pretty straightforward premise in itself, especially given Futurama's love for all things robotic... but Futurama deserves credit for crafting a helpful B-plot out of the main story's literal remains, as Zoidberg starts stockpiling Hermes' disposed body parts.  Despite the heaping helpings of hatred doled out to him by Hermes, Zoidberg unfathomably misses the 'old' Hermes, whose insensitivity disappears along with his human body parts.  The initial scene of Zoidberg and "Hermes" in the dumpster is creepy/funny in itself... but the eventual sight of a nearly-complete Hermes - save for his brain and hair, which is replaced with a goofy blue baseball cap! - is priceless. And then, Dr. Zoidberg unveils his master plan - to turn Hermes' stitched-up body into an actual meat puppet, for the purposes of a (largely successful) ventriloquist act called "Dr. Zoidberg and Little Hermes"! Now, I should be disturbed at how playful the show was about Hermes' "corpse", but the sheer lunacy of what the story was accomplishing won me over.

Ultimately, Mecha-Hermes decides that he needs to take the final step to become a complete robot: by getting a robot brain implant.  But, even the shady black market surgeon refuses to do such a controversial procedure.  Fortuntely, Professor Farnsworth knows no such bounds!  And so, we proceed to the Robot Cemetery in order to retrieve a brain from a fresh robot corpse.  Unfortunately, said brain belongs to the recently buried body of Roberto.  The plot resolutions were alternatively weird - Mecha-Roberto dies from eating a slice of Hermes' ultra-spicy skin - and weirdly logical - regular Hermes is revived by simply slapping Mecha-Hermes' brain back into Little Hermes.

As bizarre as it sounds, the body parts/surgery stuff really livened up this episode for me: the "Monster Mash"-esque scene in which Zoidberg plays with Hermes' brain gave me some flashbacks to The Simpsons' "Treehouse of Horror" episode in which Mr. Burns transplants Homer's brain into a robot.  And the way that the episode played on Zoidberg's dysfunctional relationship with Hermes was amusing as well.  All in all, this was an episode that surpassed my initial expectations... after all, we all know how darn hilarious bureaucracy can be, and fortunately, the episode found enough inventive stuff to justify its existence. Now, let us celebrate with a hearty meal of Goat Helper!

Random notes:

• I noticed that one of the tombstones in the Robot Cemetery was Roomba. Darn you, ricin cigarette!!!
• Also, while they were at the cemetery, I had a brief suspicion that the grave that was dug up would be Calculon's... since we haven't heard any resolution from his Shakespearean death in the July 4th episode.
• I was happy to hear Dan Castellaneta reprise his role as the Robot Devil... even if only for 15 seconds or so.
• Some fun wordplay on display this week: the "FIRED" stamp seamlessly becoming a "REHIRED" stamp, as well as Hermes' wife's speech that played on the uses of "commence".
• "Hey, Bender, you should become an executioner! You could kill humans and wear a cool hood!" "Nah, I like my victims to know who did it!"
• "I said, 'Not now!'"
• Next week: Fry falls into a meat grinder and becomes hot dogs. Will the episode be tasteless... or tasty? Find out here next week!

Black Dynamite, Episode 1.02: "Bullhorn Nights" (or "Murder, She Throats")

In my review of last week's premiere, I couldn't help but express my disappointment in how the episode shoved Black Dynamite aside in favor of Cream Corn.  Well, here we go again, in a Bullhorn-heavy episode that manages to do even less with Black Dynamite... much to my chagrin.


The episode's setup: black porn star Ringo Mandingo (and his own mandingo, covered up by comically large black censor bars) have been sliced and diced by a chainsaw, shortly before production was about to begin on the first black-on-white porn, Willy Wanker and the Chocolate F**ktory. Before you know it, Black Dynamite and the team are on the case, and proceed to the set of many of Mandingo's films.  Before you know it, Bullhorn and his eloquent rhymes catch the attention of a Jack Horner-esque producer, and he becomes a porn star in his own right: "Sweet Throat".  Meanwhile, black porn stars continue to be bumped off, leaving only Bullhorn and "Isaac Layes"... and Layes soon meets his demise by way of grenade after being picked for Willy Wanker.  (His priceless death line: "My grave... can you dig it?")


As amusing as Bullhorn can be, he's the type of character that works best in small doses, as this episode quickly makes clear. (I can only handle so much rhyming, you know!) As such, we get inverse amounts of Bullhorn and BD than I'd prefer.  Even worse, the killer lines that we do get from BD are recycled from the original movie, such as "I thought I told you honkies from the adult-film industry that Black Dynamite don't hump on film no more!"  Although, I was quite surprised that this week's episode attempted to reprise one of the film's slow-burn gags: the chalkboard deconstruction at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles (or as this episode depicts it, "Roscoe's Grits 'n Jello")... leading to the episode's most bizarre revelation: that the wave of murders is the result of a bizarre partnership between the Black Panthers and the Ku Klux Klan (?!?!?) in order to prevent interracial porn from hitting the market.

The episode's last 7 minutes pick up considerably, starting with the Roscoe's sequence, and leading directly into a scene from Willy Wanker and the Chocolate F**ktory, as Bullhorn croons the XXX version of "Pure Imagination", accompanied by a crew of "Humpa-Lumpas".  I'll be honest: I'm a sucker for Willy Wonka parodies, given my love for that film, and the elaborate animation of this sequence certainly helps. (Sidebar: Is every modern animated TV series required to do a Willy Wonka parody? Remember "Wasted Talent" from the original run of Family Guy? Or "Fry and the Slurm Factory" from the first cycle of Futurama?)

But then, the parody comes to a halt, as BD confronts the KKK and the Panthers (or, the Black Pumas - Huey P. was "a hell of a revolutionary, and extremely litigious"), leading to a bunch of gory shotgun blasts and anime-stylized action, consistent with the show's animation style. And then, we leave the episode as our lead characters debate on what the episode's moral is.  For the record, I'll quote Black Dynamite's: "Sometimes having a giant johnson is just enough rope to hang yourself." Wise words, Black Dynamite... wise words, indeed. :-)  Still, a fine third act can't resolve a meandering first two-thirds of the episode. Hopefully, the show can get out of its rut soon: we've only got 8 episodes to go!

Random notes:

• Here's the link to this week's episode, courtesy of adultswim.com.  In addition, episodes re-air Saturday nights on [adult swim].
• Anachronism Alert: Would there seriously be a porn movie called Big Trouble in Little Vagina in the 1970s? Just remember what ol' Jack Burton would say: "No!" (Also disorienting: an out-of-place reference to Lionel Richie's "Hello".)
• Black Dynamite, after a particularly dramatic music cue: "Dang, with a sting like that, I know it's got to be some heavy shit!"
• I think I counted six or seven "Dy-no-mite! Dy-no-mite!" cues. Nice!

Next week: Eddie Griffin IS Richard Pryor, in the original first episode of the Black Dynamite animated series... and, fortunately, it's a Black Dynamite-centric episode to boot!

Breaking Bad, Episode 5.02: “Madrigal”

It’s a little hard to believe that, up until this week’s episode of Breaking Bad, we hadn’t had an episode dedicated to our favorite cleaner, Mike.  Every supporting character of note has had their own episode all to themselves: from Gus in last season’s “Hermanos”, to Marie in “Open House”.  But until Sunday night, the most we got for Mike was a single act in the third-season finale, “Full Measure”, in which we got Mike to see in ass-kicking silencer mode.  “Madrigal” delivers on the potential of a Mike-heavy episode, giving us two action sequences, plus several other awesome dialogue scenes for Jonathan Banks to knock out of the park.  For the die-hard Breaking Bad fan, it’s an unqualified recipe for success.

But before we get to Mike, let’s talk chicken nuggets! In the episode’s off-kilter cold open, we’re introduced to Mr. Schuler, who runs Madrigal Elektromotoren, the German-based parent company of Los Pollos Hermanos (and the owner of the laundromat that housed the meth super-lab in Seasons 3 & 4).  He’s in the middle of a taste test of new sauces (including honey mustard, a half-ranch, half-French combination called “Franch”, and “Cajun Kick-Ass”, which is charmingly uttered in a German accent) when his assistant informs him that the police have stopped by to ask some questions about the Gus Fring operation… “Three this time”.  Schuler knows he’s screwed, and so he does the only thing he can do: by committing suicide in a bathroom using a portable defibrillator.  (In true Breaking Bad fashion, Schuler’s death invokes a twisted moment of laughter, as the bathroom toilet flushes after he drops dead.)  Of course, such a move is only going to raise more suspicion… which leads to a meeting at the DEA offices in Albuquerque between Madrigal representatives and the DEA (including an out-and-about Hank).

After the cold open, we’re treated to a moment of Walt at his most calculating: he attempts to reconstruct the ricin cigarette in a hurried effort to appease Jesse’s worry about where it might be.  He then heads over to Jesse’s house to “search” for said cigarette, ultimately planting it inside television’s favorite non-DJ Roomba for Jesse to find.  For starters, I enjoyed Walt’s “What the hell is that?” reaction to the Roomba at the beginning  of the scene… and further enjoyed it when I realized that his reaction was a ploy to get Jesse to open the Roomba up.  And once Jesse finds it, and breaks down crying in a sign of relief, you can’t help but think, “Walt, you sadistic bastard.” The stark contrast between Jesse’s bawling after finding the cigarette and Walt’s meaningless hugs of comfort is a shining example of how far Walt’s fallen, and how much Jesse has usurped him as the moral center of the show… if there is such a thing.  (And let’s give it up for Aaron Paul for selling the heck out of that scene… kudos!)

With that out of the way, Walt and Jesse start building their meth business back up from scratch… in what will certainly be a less lucrative operation than Gus’ structure allowed (albeit with larger profits for all involved.)  First order of business: attempting to get Mike involved as a third partner – for security/logistics reasons, and especially to help acquire the various ingredients needed to make the blue meth.  From the second Mike opens the door and gives that “Aw, crap, not these guys again” look on his face, you know he doesn’t want to be involved with this at all.  In fact, he verbalizes it succinctly, calling Walt “a time bomb, tick-tick-ticking”, and declines their offer.  But Walt and Jesse proceed anyways, meeting with Saul to start getting things into order.  Despite Saul’s best advice, Walt’s hubris starts gleaming through, as he proclaims, “There’s gold in the streets, just waiting for someone to come in and scoop it up!” Even more, Walt’s about $40,000 in the hole as a result of last season’s chaos – in terms of what he owes Jesse and also what he lost to Ted Beneke – putting him in a situation where he HAS to start cooking once more.

But there’s still some problematic aspects towards making this work, namely the need for methylamine… and surprisingly, that’s where Mike comes in.  It’s the long result of a quartet of stellar Mike-centric scenes that make this a top-notch episode:

• Mike and Lydia at the diner.  Lydia, like Mike, is an employee of Gus’ operation… but unlike Mike, she’s extremely uneasy that the Los Pollos Hermanos operation is going to come crashing down.  And so, we’re treated to a comedy of extreme awkwardness, as Lydia meets Mike (or should I say, “DWAYNE!!!”) at one of his favorite diners, and gives Mike a list of 11 guys who she thinks will break... and who should be bumped off.  But, Mike ain’t gonna do that: He vetted every single name on that list – yes, even Chow, the man whose hand Mike shot in the Season 3 finale – and he’s dang certain that none of them will crack under pressure.  And so Mike declines another offer… but Lydia isn’t going to stop there, as we’ll soon find out.
• Mike versus Hank.  Just hearing that character combination should make you giddy inside… and boy, does this six-minute sequence lives up to the potential. The above scene hints that Mike knows enough to keep his mouth shut to the DEA… and Mike demonstrates that he’s a thorough man, as he rattles off the states in which he has P.I. licenses and concealed-carry permits (or in the case of the latter, the states which he’s NOT licensed).  Mike denies knowing anything about Gus’ drug operation, but ultimately, Hank traps Mike: the DEA has found a list of bank accounts – in effect, the list of names that Lydia gave to Mike – and have seized their cash.  Chief among that list, with a whopping $2 million in deposits, is an account registered in the name of Mike’s 10-year-old granddaughter. Mike simply says he doesn’t know anything about it… and leaves.
• A visit to Chow’s house. While playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with his granddaughter, Mike receives a call from Mr. Chow, asking him to come over to figure out what to do, now that the DEA has seized his money.  But, as Admiral Ackbar would say, “IT’S A TRAP!”, as Mike quickly figures out that there’s a fellow hitman there to take both Chow – and Mike – out of the equation.  But, with a sly fake-out, thanks to one of his granddaughter’s toys, Mike gains the upper hand over Chris the hitman.  As it turns out, Lydia hired Chris to work through the list of 11, offering $10,000 per name (and $30,000 for Mike).  But alas, Mike asks, “Are you ready?” and takes him out, making for Corpse #3 this week.  (I must also compliment the show’s cinematography, which has always been one of the series’ strong suits: the wide shot of Mike pointing his gun at Chris, which pans down to display the blown-out back of Chow’s head – complete with flies already buzzing around it – was extremely well-done.)
• 4A visit to Lydia’s house.  Having narrowly avoided death, Mike heads to Lydia’s house to exact his revenge.  But Mike has to contend with the presence of Lydia’s daughter… and her housekeeper.  The trademark Breaking Bad tension is absolutely palpable here, as Mike stands in the nighttime shadows of Lydia’s bedroom, waiting for her to enter… and it only gets more unbearable as Mike grabs Lydia in the bedroom, and as Lydia pleads for her life, asking not to disappear for her daughter’s sake.  And then, Mike makes what might be his fatal mistake, as he lets Lydia live in exchange for acquiring the methylamine… which, don’t get me wrong, is a bit of a groaner, especially for this show.  But, the fact that it’s going to allow Walt and Jesse to start cooking again is also exciting… especially now that Mike has reconsidered and has joined in the operation.

And now that we’ve made it 25% through this summer season, we have to ask: What exactly is going to send things unraveling?  Well, based on what Hank said during the meeting with his now-ousted boss, Walt may have screwed things up: apparently, according to Hank, the laptop from last week was encrypted, and they wouldn’t have been able to pull anything off of it.  But a part of me has to be wondering what Lydia’s presence will affect our “heroes’” future.

Random notes:

• Again, if you’re watching the series live on Sunday nights, I highly recommend using AMC’s Breaking Bad Story Sync feature.  I pulled it up on my iPad during the Sunday premiere airing, and it certainly makes for a fun experience.
• We have Jay Leno to thank for resurrecting this video clip: a 1998 appearance of Jesse Pinkman himself, Aaron Paul, on The Price is Right.  You know you want to see it. :-D

Next week: Walt, Jesse, Mike and Saul in a room together. There’s no way this can’t be good. :-) See you then!

True Blood, Episode 5.07: “In the Beginning”

These past few days, I had considered how I wanted to review the second half of this season of True Blood, mainly in order to sustain my writing interest (and your reading interest as well).  My main thought was, “Well, what if I turn this into more of a snarky review/recap piece? After all, that’s what teh Internetz do so well!” But then, a funny thing happened with last night’s episode: it was mostly amusing… and not in the usually embarrassing way that True Blood usually is.  In fact, it seemed, dare I say, self-aware, as we got a number of scenes that seemed to proclaim that the show is capable of doing the type of ludicrously over-the-top entertainment that it’s known to do from time to time.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, “But of course last night was good! It was the first episode in which Russell was able to roam free and wreak all sorts of havoc!”  That is certainly true, especially since the episode blessed us with those delectable scenes of the Authority getting drunk on the precious blood of Lilith.  Leading up to that, though, was the nice sight of Russell decapitating an Authority member who refused to drink of Lilith’s blood… a sign of sorts that the Russell we know and love is back to full strength.  And then – oh, and then! – we were treated to the private party scene, leading to the priceless moment of Russell joining in on a karaoke rendition of “You Light Up My Life”, before commencing with a partygoer massacre.  And then, as our vampires gorge on the guests’ bodies, we’re blessed with the hallucinatory entrance of Lilith herself.  One has to wonder to what extent Lilith’s villainous influence will guide the rest of the season… although it seems so far that the only reason Lilith was added to the cast was to provide some obligatory full-frontal nudity.  (Hey, it’s not TV! It’s HBO! Remember that!)  And then, as if Lilith’s appearance wasn’t enough, Eric receives a mid-gorge visit from fan fave Godric (!!!!!), telling Eric that what they’re doing is wrong.  At that point, Eric snaps out of the Lilith hallucination, just in time for the episode to end.  As you can tell, all this Authority material was fun, fun, fun…I don't want to reiterate what I've said before about Russell making this show a heck of a lot more enjoyable, but the proof is right there in front of us.

But it wasn’t just that, though.  Take, for instance, the hilarious sight of Sam Merlotte crawling around on the ground and sniffing out the Obama-masked vampire killers: "I’m picking up 5 men, maybe 6… bad diets… and HATE… and ENVY!” Oh, and we got to see Jesus’ severed head in a hand chair… because that’s just how the show rolls right now!  (Certainly, this was the most memorable TV use of a hand chair since Arrested Development.) If that weren’t enough, this segued into the quaint moment where Jesus’ grandpa ties up Lafayette, stitches up his LIPS, and attempts to slice Lafayette's BRAIN open so he can feed it to his unborn child and reclaim the family magic.  Ah, but of course!

We also incurred a couple of flashbacks this week. For starters, we got to see Salome as the one who broke Russell out of his cement grave.  But the most significant flashback was an unusual one: the episode stopped for about 5 minutes or so midway through, so we could see Terry and Arlene’s wedding video, which occurred in the 11-month-or-so gap between Seasons 3 & 4.  At the very least, we got to see Jesus back in the flesh, for a rare non-decapitated-head appearance.

What else is worth commenting on?  Well, despite what we’ve seen the past five years on the show, apparently Tara is better served as an exotic dancer than a bartender.  You almost get the impression that the show has depleted its Pam/Tara relationship material if it has to stoop to this level… but oh, well.  It’s True Blood. :-)  Hoyt's finding love with a hate group... boy, this can't end well, but Hoyt's the susceptible type (as the fangbanger look has shown us earlier this year). Oh, and Sookie’s trying to empty her luminescence tank… because if she does, she can finally be NORMAL!!!!! Who wants to bet that this little bit of internal conflict will be resolved within the first 90 seconds of next week’s episode?  I mean, if anything, the show's trying to make people as out-of-the-ordinary as possible. (Case in point: Tara.)  But again, we'll wait for next week's resolution on that. :-)

Random notes:

• Jason Stackhouse on Sookie’s luminescence: “Let’s plug her in and charge her back up!”
• Sookie Stackhouse on Sookie’s luminescence: “Fuck you, I’m depleting!”
• Hoyt, blindly responding to the death of a fellow bigot he didn't know at all: “Motherfuckers!”
• For more Anna Paquin fun, you can now check out the Blu-ray and DVD release of her film Margaret, which Paquin filmed way back in the fall of 2005 (nearly two years before the True Blood pilot was filmed).  Why the long delay?  About six years of editing-room chaos and litigation… but apparently, Paquin’s performance is nothing short of stellar.  And hey, there won’t be any Sookie accent to contend with. ;-)
• Aw, why the heck not... let's listen to Russell belt out some Debby Boone one more time:
  
  
  
• Next week: I hope you like Gotye!

Futurama, Episode 7.06: “The Butterjunk Effect”

Tonight’s Futurama episode felt awfully disjointed, as if the writers had four or five story elements that couldn’t stand on their own, and decided to just slap them together in the crudest way possible.  Let’s picture the story pitch meeting: “Let’s send up roller derbies!” “Okay, but we’ve gotta work a huge fly swatter into the plot!” “Ooh, let’s write a scathing commentary on performance-enhancing drugs!” “You know what would be hilarious? If Fry were an irresistible sex object!” “Better yet… let’s turn Fry into a butterfly!” As you may imagine, the resulting episode couldn't have turned out well... and it doesn't.

Let’s start with the episode’s version of the roller derby: the butterfly derby, which swaps out roller skates for giant butterfly wings, as its female contestants (including our ever-competitive Leela and Amy) try to stay up in the air and avoid falling to the ground.  What became evident very quickly is that riffing on roller derbies wasn’t as funny as one would hope.  (Which is sad, since I very much enjoyed Drew Barrymore’s 2009 roller-derby comedy Whip It. #ShamelessPopCultureAdmissions)  The Futurama writers end up relying on a bunch of insect-related gags, including a huge bug zapper and the aforementioned fly swatter.

Then, the show shifts focus to performance enhancers, when Leela and Amy start chugging nectar to improve their strength (for the wing-flapping, of course).  Surprisingly, the story doesn’t head into any dark territory as a result of the new subject matter.  Remember South Park’s “Up the Down Steroid”, in which Jimmy juices up to win the Special Olympics?  I was afraid that the show would retread the same story beats, focusing on the “Drugs are bad, mmmkay?” aspects of the plot.  Instead, the drug is played almost entirely for laughs, giving Leela and Amy temporarily deeper voices and increased ab definition.  Even weirder, the ladies’ demand for nectar leads them to Kif’s home planet, and eventually to a sitcom-level plot thread in which Fry is doused by butterfly pheromones, making him sexually irresistible to both Amy and Leela… resulting in bedroom follies that Three’s Company would be envious of.

And then, there’s the ending, which is a giant “What the heck?” moment if I’ve ever seen one.  Fry’s pheromone shower essentially turns Fry into a caterpillar, and he ultimately creates a cocoon attached to the Planet Express ship.  Meanwhile, Leela and Amy’s championship butterfly derby match nearly proves to be their end, namely on account of the giant hot lava pit that is located beneath them… when suddenly, Fry emerges from his cocoon as a full-formed butterfly, distracting their competitors into an impromptu mating session.  All told, the ending is both ridiculously bizarre, even by Futurama standards, and also painfully abrupt.

Even the show’s trademark steady stream of on-the-mark jokes seemed weaker than usual… although there were a few choice lines, including one from the butterfly derby commissioner: “Congratulations to our gutsy, non-paralyzed challengers!” and Fry’s comment about being a “derby wife”.  Even the one-off visual gags: such as the chef’s special (Jar Jar Tartare) and the Monsanto Yokel Dome, seemed second-rate at best.  Here’s hoping that this week’s episode was a dud, and that next week’s episode (which features Hermes as some sort of robot?!?!?) will pick up the pace.

Random notes:

• Fry’s screeching yowls were priceless. Re-owwwwwwwwrrrrr!
• Just in time for The Dark Knight Rises, Futurama pulls out a WingNuts transition card reminiscent of the 1960s Batman TV series.
• Nice touch with the butterfly folding chair… because why not?
• Exchange of the night, courtesy of Fry and a very amorous Leela:
  Leela: “Night, Fry. Keep your door unlocked tonight!”
  Fry: “But McGruff the Crime Dog says… ohhhhhhhhh!”
• In case you didn’t know, this summer season of Futurama is already slated for a DVD and Blu-ray release. Just like the last couple of years, it will hit store shelves the Tuesday before Christmas… and Dr. Zoidberg’s mug is all over the packaging! For more info, click here.

True Blood, Episode 5.06: “Hopeless”

I’m going to keep my comments on this week’s True Blood brief, for two reasons.  First, I’m way overdue on my thoughts for last night’s show (which is the risk I took when I chose to review Breaking Bad and Black Dynamite first).  Second, and more importantly, let’s be honest: there were only 5 truly good minutes in last nights’ 52-minute episode… and those were the scenes with Russell Edgington, played by Denis O’Hare.  Given what O’Hare brought to the table last night, only five minutes of Russell is a tragedy, because he milked every single second of his screen time for all its worth.  I mean, how about that final scene, huh? It was a tremendous display of scenery-chewing, as Russell states his distaste for Roman’s mainstreaming approach: “I wanna gorge on human blood, because I like it! It’s fun! IT MAKES MY DICK HARD!”  When Nora praised Lilith in the episode’s final shot, I can’t help but think that’s how most of the show’s fans reacted to Russell’s staking of Roman: aside from the episode where he staked the kid, Roman didn’t make a very favorable impression as a villain.  I mean, you can’t have any fun when Roman decides to kill the show’s biggest villain through his iPhone! By his own admission, he’s not one to get dirty… but c’mon, this is True Blood, a show that mandates that its characters swing for the rafters.  Besides, we had to have an out so that Russell could emerge victorious.  I’m very thankful that Russell is now essentially powered up and ready for action… because at this point, the show needs all the life it can get.

The clean-up of last week’s asylum plot was… interesting, for a few reasons: Bill and Eric’s Men-in-Black-esque glamouring of Sookie and Alcide was temporarily engaging… until you realize that the scene served as a cheap reset.  Fortunately, I enjoyed the scene at Sookie’s house the morning after, where Sookie’s mind-reading of Alcide quickly undid Bill and Eric’s work.  I also enjoyed how the show managed to still ultimately kill off Doug. I know, the poor guy… but let’s face it, it was inevitable. :-)

Aside from those two main things, the rest of the episode underwhelmed me.  The Tara/Jessica fight at Fangtasia was unfortunately defused before it could even begin. Fangbangin' Hoyt is still just really, really weird... although at least we'll get to see him hang out with the anti-vampire Obamas. Fairie Moulin Rouge is doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for me, and the “Who murdered Sookie’s parents?” thread hasn’t gained enough momentum to engage my interest thus far.  Given that the show’s creator, Alan Ball, wrote tonight’s episode, I had hoped for a major shift in the direction of the season.  Unfortunately, aside from Russell’s return to power (which is significant, don’t get me wrong), he didn’t do very much… which, for a series with eleventy billion subplots in action right now, hurts quite a bit.

We’re officially halfway through the season at this point, and I can’t help but wonder why I’m still hanging on.  Without a doubt, if True Blood wasn’t airing in the summertime, I’d be hard-pressed to keep tuning in… but let’s hope that Russell makes the second half of the season a grand return to the over-the-top fun that True Blood has been capable of in the past.  And if it doesn’t, then, to quote Mr. Edgington: “You might as well be praying to leprechauns, or unicorns, or the motherfuckin’ Kardashians!”

Black Dynamite, Episode 1.01: “Jackson Five Across Yo' Eyes” (or “Just Beat It”)

Over the past several years, 2009’s Black Dynamite – a loving send-up, and immaculate recreation, of 1970s blaxploitation films – has become a comedy near and dear to my heart.  This under-appreciated hidden gem stars actor/martial artist Michael Jai White – whom you may know best from the hellaciously awful feature film adaptation of Spawn, or the “pencil trick” scene of The Dark Knight – as Black Dynamite, a Vietnam vet/ ex-CIA agent/sex machine who seeks vengeance for the death of his brother Jimmy, while working to keep a new type of heroin from hitting the local orphanages. 

My first encounter with Black Dynamite was this creative fake trailer, which combined clips from actual 1970s blaxploitation films with newly-shot footage of Michael Jai White (the latter featuring a fair amount of dialogue from the final film):

Keep in mind that the above trailer was filmed prior to the film itself, as White and director Scott Sanders put it together as a proof-of-concept to sell investors on the movie… and oh, did it work: in late 2008, the actual film’s trailer was released, which astonished movie fans with its priceless recreation of 1970s filmmaking. Check it out below:

Black Dynamite went on to receive high praise from film festival audiences, culminating in Sony’s purchase of the film at Sundance for $2 million dollars.  Unfortunately, Sony botched the film’s theatrical release, limiting it to a 2-week run in 70 theaters nationwide, which took in less than $250,000 at the box office.  Fortunately, the film’s DVD and Blu-ray release helped create a fervent and passionate fan base, which led to a surprising announcement in 2010, when our favorite late-night comedy block, [adult swim], announced that a Black Dynamite animated series was going into production.

If you close your eyes and listen to the soundtrack, the Black Dynamite premiere sounds exactly like the film: not only did Michael Jai White and his fellow cast members (including Byron Minns as Bullhorn, Kym Whitley as Honey Bee, and Tommy Davidson as Cream Corn) return for this series, but composer Adrian Younge reprised much of his awesome music cues from the original film.  However, the visuals… are a different story.  You see, the animation team behind The Boondocks were hired to bring Black Dynamite to animated life, and as a result, the low-rent visuals of the movie have given way to an over-stylized, anime-like experience for the TV series… much like The Boondocks.  For those of you who are used to the style of the original movie, the visual switch is quite jarring, and it may take several episodes for the look to sink in.

Fortunately, despite the visual differences, the franchise’s sense of humor is still mostly intact… and that’s a good thing.  As the premiere episode opens, Fiendish Dr. Wu’s army of ninjas have taken over the city streets, flagrantly disobeying “No Ninja Loitering” signs and making sure that pimpin’ ain’t easy for Chocolate Giddy-Up and the city’s other pimps.  Hired by the pimps to take Dr. Wu out, Black Dynamite and his team put together a massive explosion (which invokes the series’ first use of the classic “Dy-no-mite! Dy-no-mite!” music cue)… but the getaway effort fails miserably when it’s revealed that Cream Corn abandoned his getaway driver duties to head on over to Soul Train… where he sees the Jackson 5 perform, and becomes enamored with a young Michael Jackson.

“Jackson Five Across Yo’ Eyes” was the third episode of the series that was produced, yet it was slotted as the series premiere.  Usually, TV comedies are apt to position their best episodes first in order to gain viewers.  However, I wonder if the premise of a Michael Jackson episode just seemed more accessible to new viewers (especially those who aren’t familiar with the Black Dynamite film).  If it’s accessibility that’s the case, it doesn’t work well, as the episode quickly falls into the requisite spate of Michael Jackson pedophile/creepy person jokes.  Things start promisingly, as Michael, not Joe Jackson, is portrayed as the abusive controller of the Jackson 5… but the episode soon turns into a reversed version of the South Park episode “The Jeffersons”, with Cream Corn idolizing little Michael much in the same way that Cartman fell for “Mr. Jefferson” in that classic episode, and Michael himself devolving into a creepy monster for the big finale of both episodes.  The show fares best when it wrings jokes out of the early days of the Jackson family, such as Michael professing his love for Cream Corn via a twisted version of his song “Ben”, or the flashback to Joe Jackson’s days as a reproducing machine.  (The episode’s most uproarious moment may have been the birth of La Toya Jackson, which I won’t spoil for you here.)  (Although I did like how Michael sang a warped version of “Ben” to profess his adoration for Cream Corn.)

But what hurts the most about this premiere is how much of the episode is tied to Michael Jackson and Cream Corn, and not Black Dynamite himself.  Black Dynamite’s attempts throughout the episode to interrogate a ninja is amusing, albeit way too brief (“Dammit, who’s interrupting my headlocking?”), and we get a classic moment involving Black Dynamite’s nearly-endless string of sexual partners (“Dammit, I already told the second bitch ‘No!’”).  But sadly, there’s little else time spent with the main man during the show’s 23 minutes, which is sad because Black Dynamite is an epic character in and of himself, and can easily generate a lot of laughs.  At the very least, Michael Jai White infuses most of his dialogue with a delicious sense of comedic anger over the Michael Jackson situation, which helps sell such lines as “Michael Jackson, will you stop the goddamn singing, shut the FUCK up, and let a grown man find his GRAPPLING HOOKS?!?!?”

All told, the premiere episode isn’t entirely a success, but I’m willing to wait this out as we proceed further into the season.  Regardless of the premiere’s quality, it’s still absolutely amazing that we have more adventures of Black Dynamite and his crew to indulge in, and for that alone, I’m still very optimistic.  But, it seems that we may run into the same trap next week, with a Bullhorn-centric adventure into the world of porn.  Let’s hope things turn out better… right? Right?

Random notes:

• If you missed Sunday night's viewing, you can watch the episode via this link, which takes you to adultswim.com. However, you will need to be a subscriber of a major cable or satellite company, as you will need to authenticate in order to view the video.
• Below, you'll find the Black Dynamite animated pilot, which premiered on adultswim.com last year, and which features JB Smoove as a villainous Kermit the Frog clone.  It’s uncertain if this will air on TV, primarily because the pilot was created as a 15-minute episode.  (After the pilot was finished, the series was expanded to 30-minute episodes… which, in the world of Adult Swim, is a vote of confidence.)
  
  
• For some reason, we don't have a review of the original Black Dynamite movie on the parent site... you'll have to beg the Powers That Be to cover it. :-)
• Ironically, my newly-acquired Blu-ray of Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker landed in my mailbox today from the UK.  I haven't seen it yet, but if the Nostalgia Critic has taught me anything, this movie is weird as heck.
• "The Whorephanage is a place for whores and orphans, not Michael Jacksons!"
• "Ninja, please!"

Breaking Bad, Episode 5.01: “Live Free or Die”

In my opinion, Breaking Bad is the best drama on television.  Now, I realize that this could be a controversial statement, no matter how convinced I am of its value. Heck, I'll admit that, at the very least, it’s dangerously hyperbolic!  And sure, you could argue that other TV critical darlings, such as Mad Men or Sherlock or what-have-you, could stand toe-to-toe with the adventures of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman.  But when I sit down to watch a new episode of Breaking Bad Sunday evenings at 9:00 PM (Central time, yo!), I can always count on a draining, tension-filled, and positively grueling experience that no other show can provide… and which no other show has provided since The Shield or the early years of 24.  That, combined with a wonderfully dark sense of humor, film-like cinematography, and a top-notch cast led by Bryan Cranston, has made for one of television’s most awesome experiences… which, sadly, started heading towards its endgame tonight, with the first of the final season’s 16 episodes.  (For posterity’s sake, I should mention that only the first eight episodes will air this summer, wrapping up on Labor Day Sunday.  The second half of the season will begin filming in mid-November, and will air on AMC next summer, in what will assuredly be a painful wait.)

And yet, as we head into these sixteen episodes, the question that’s been on most fans’ minds since last October’s incredible finale is: “Where do we go from here?” In that daring October 2011 finale, Walter managed to devise – and successfully execute – a ballsy plan to eliminate his employer, Southwest meth kingpin/fast-food chicken franchise owner Gus Fring, with the help of our beloved bell-dinger, Hector Salamanca.  With Gus out of the picture, Walt triumphantly proclaimed to his wife, “I won”… a moment reprised at the beginning of tonight’s episode.  However, this is not the Super Bowl, and Walt just isn’t going to go to Disney World.  Now, that’s not to say that Walt isn’t going to bask in the moment; in fact, when he gets home, he breaks out the booze for a celebratory drink.  However, Walt keeps thinking of loose ends: first, to clean up the bomb-making equipment from the kitchen… and then, to dispose of the Lily of the Valley plant that he used to poison Brock.  It sets up the foundation for tonight’s episode, as everyone in the cast has to tie up the remaining threads from last year in order to move on.

Chief among the loose ends: everyone’s favorite hitman, Mike, whom you’ll recall was conveniently sidelined during the last few episodes of Season 4, as he was shot and wounded during Gus’ epic poisoned-tequila elimination of the Cartel.  One of the burning questions during the show’s hiatus was how he’d react to the news of Gus’ death, and the show did not disappoint on that front.  In fact, in true Breaking Bad fashion, the show cuts to the chase and gives us the long-awaited, tension-filled Walt/Mike confrontation very early on… at the 18-minute mark, if I’m not mistaken.  The episode sets up the situation wonderfully, with Mike re-introduced feeding chickens at the hospital where has was recuperating. But, in comes the orderly to notify Mike… and before you know it, Mike’s driving to the desert to meet with Walt and Jesse, where’s he’s noticeably pissed.  But, the circumstances of the situation forces Mike to work with Walt and Jesse to resolve one potentially dangerous loose end: that of Gus’ ever-intimidating security cameras.  You see, the camera footage (including that of Walt and Jesse cooking in the underground laundromat lab) was all redirected to Gus’ laptop… and if it falls into the wrong hands, then they’re all screwed.

And where’s the laptop?  In the Albuquerque police evidence room, natch.  Not only have they come in to swoop all the evidence from Gus’ office at the Los Pollos Hermanos restaurant… but the DEA’s investigation has also picked up, as Hank descends, cane in hand, to inspect the burned-out remains of Gus’ lab, where he noticed the torched remains of the lab camera.  It leads to what may be the episode’s most laugh-out-loud moment, as Walt and Mike discuss a ridiculously elaborate plan to eliminate the evidence to get a bomb into the evidence room, while Jesse tries valiantly to be the voice of reason and logic. His solution is simple: Magnets, yo!  Thus, we head to the junkyard, where Walt attempts to acquire a crane magnet to wipe the laptop’s contents clean.  It’s a welcome callback of sorts to the show’s early days, where Walt’s chemistry expertise was used to solve various problems on the meth front.  (Remember the explosive meth from episode 5? Or Walter’s very specific request in episode 2 for a container to disintegrate a body in? Oh, those were the days.)  It leads to another fun sequence: the test run of the magnet, which is stored in the back of a truck with 21 car batteries wired together to make a portable power source.  It's a scene that would make the Insane Clown Posse proud.

You’ll recall at the end of that scene that Walt makes one request: to double the number of batteries in the bank.  It’s the start of a new Walt, one who’s seemingly drunk with power in the wake of his success over Gus.  It comes up again when Walt, Jesse and Mike head to the police department to use the magnet: Walt can’t help but turn up the magnet to full blast when they get there… tipping the truck in the process, ensuring that they’ll have to leave it behind at the police station.  Yet, despite the risk of leaving the truck behind, lest there be prints, Walt truly believes he’s above defeat: in Mike’s car afterwards, Mike asks, “Did all that even work just now?” Walt says yes.  How do we know?  In Walt’s words, “Because I say so.”  It’s a bold statement… and one that ensures that Walt is setting himself up for inevitable failure.  And, if anything, Walt’s efforts may not have helped: even though the laptop might be destroyed, the magnet managed to uncover a juicy bit of information: it damaged a framed portrait of Gus and his partner (whom you’ll recall from last season’s “Hermanos” flashback episode), which contained, underneath the photo, the numbers for a Cayman Islands offshore bank account.

Speaking of ridiculous amounts of money, let’s shift to Skyler’s plot, where she has to deal with a loose thread of her own: her old boss, Ted Beneke, whom she gave $622,000 or so in cash to pay off his back taxes and avoid going to prison.  Now, when Ted slipped and fell near the end of last season, we would’ve thought that his story was conveniently wrapped up.  But that’s not the case, as tonight, Skyler learns via Saul that Ted has woken up.  Now, granted, Ted’s not that well off: he still has severe neck injuries, he’s in a brace, and there are even screws in his head.  But Ted is apt to tell Skyler that he doesn’t plan on saying a word about what really happened.  Saul explains the situation to Walt at episode’s end, but he doesn’t respond very well, on account of the fact that he wasn’t approached when a huge chunk of his money was given to the man his wife was sleeping with.  It leads to a falling out between him and Saul, who says he’s done with Walt.  But Walt says those threatening words, “We’re done when I say we’re done.”  Even more unsettling is what he says to Skyler in the final scene: “I forgive you.” It’s not exactly a reassuring moment for Skyler… and it further sets up Walt as a man who’s not to be messed with.

Which brings us to the scene I’ve held off on discussing until now: the episode’s cold open, which flashes forward to Walt’s 52^nd birthday, as noted by his traditional bacon-and-eggs birthday breakfast.  (You’ll recall that the show’s very first episode opened with Walt’s 50^th birthday, and just so you’re aware, we haven’t seen Walt turn 51 yet… although this season’s fourth episode is conveniently titled “Fifty-One”.)  When we meet Walt – or should I say, “Mr. Lambert” – he’s sporting a new look: a full head of hair, a scruffy beard and wardrobe, and black horn-rimmed glasses.  As it turns out, Walt is at Denny’s to meet up with his weapons guy – the one whom Walt bought his revolver from last season.  This time, however, Walt’s making a wee bit of an upgrade: he’s purchasing an M-60 machine gun (according to the Breaking Bad StorySync feature for tonight’s episode).

The mere presence of a flash-forward sequence alternately excites and frightens me.  Fortunately, Breaking Bad has approached its story architecture in both ways.  For example, Season 2 was intricately structured to lead up to the season finale’s airliner crash… as indicated by the recurring flash-forwards of a pink teddy bear floating in a pool.  For Season 3, however, creator Vince Gilligan decided to take the exact opposite approach: he opted not to write a season-long arc, instead forcing himself and the writing staff to write the season by the seat of their pants… which led to a much more immediate sense of storytelling, and probably one of the most thrilling seasons of television in recent memory.  At best, tonight’s flash-forward signifies that Gilligan and his writing staff have a story mapped out for this summer’s eight episodes, and most likely the rest of the series.  At worst, we have a show that’s locked into an ending, without knowing how to get there.

Given how little time this show has left, I sincerely hope it’s the former… but we’ll have to see.  As we head into this final stretch, nothing is more important to me than knowing that the show has an endgame… which is very important for serialized shows, and especially important for shows that know exactly when they’re going to end.  (For example, Lost knew its end date three years in advance… and yet Lindelof and Cuse couldn’t devise an ending that could pay off that much build-up.)  But Breaking Bad has always had an expiration date on it: either by way of Walt’s potential demise as a result of his actions, or the always-lingering threat of cancer. (Certainly, that cough in the Denny’s bathroom could not have been a throwaway moment.)  Because of the fact that there are only 16 episodes left, Breaking Bad has a tremendous opportunity to stick the landing and give us the ending that the show – and its audience – deserves.  Let’s hope it pulls it off. :-)

Random notes:

• If you’re interested in joining our Breaking Bad journey, you may be happy to know that Netflix added the fourth season to their streaming selection today.  If you can plow through all 46 episodes of Seasons 1-4 in the very near future – plus whatever episodes from Season 5 you’ll need to watch – I will give you a gold star. J
• “He knows.”
• The scene of Hank in the burned-out lab was epically filmed.  I will miss the scenes in the lab, though… that was one heck of a set.
• “Keys. It’s the universal symbol for ‘keys’.”
• Mike’s alias: Inspector Dave Clark, like in the Dave Clark Five. (That may have been before your time.)
• “Did you just use the word ‘ethically’ in a sentence?”
• Saul was on fire with the pop culture references: first by invoking Hogan’s Heroes in front of Skyler, then whipping out “I’m your huckleberry” from Tombstone when Walt came to his office.
• Although I have DVR'ed it, I have not yet fast-forwarded through tonight's post-Breaking Bad premiere of their new reality show Small Town Security to check out the promo for next week's Breaking Bad and the 4-minute preview trailer for Season 3 of The Walking Dead. You think I was going to sit through that in full to get the goods on the shows I actually watch? Nuh-uh, AMC!
• Here’s a sneak peek scene from next week’s episode, courtesy of AMC. See you next Sunday!

Futurama, Episode 7.05: “Zapp Dingbat”

The date was May 28, 1998. I was a whopping 13 years old, and a week prior, I had just graduated from grade school, back when that was still a thing. My family was in the house for our noon dinner... and yes, out in the country, we call lunch “dinner” and dinner “supper”, just so y’all know.  For some inexplicable reason, our TV was on NBC and Days of Our Lives instead of my mother’s preferred daytime channel, CBS.  (Although, to be fair, her favorite soap opera, The Young and the Restless, had already aired that day.)  As we were waiting for dinner to be ready, I was lounging in the living room, either minding my own business or just being bored. (Most likely, it was the latter.) And then, John Williams’ NBC News Special Report music abruptly cut in – the kind of news music that just screams, “Uh oh, this can NOT be good.” And, from a pop culture perspective, it most definitely wasn’t, as Tom Brokaw reported that Phil Hartman had just been shot to death by his wife, who then proceeded to take her own life.

Even more so than the death of Hartman’s SNL colleague Chris Farley just five months earlier, Hartman’s death was a tremendous loss, even for a young lad like myself.  Growing up, I experienced the later years of his 8-year run on SNL, enjoying such characters and impersonations as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, Bill Clinton, and Frank Sinatra.  But I was even more knowledgeable with his work on The Simpsons, where he voiced the highly familiar actor Troy McClure and one of pop culture's most incompetent lawyers, Lionel Hutz.  Impressed with what he added to The Simpsons, Matt Groening offered him a role on his new animated Fox series Futurama: that of 25-star general Zapp Brannigan.  However, Hartman's death prevented him from ever recording any episodes, and his role was subsequently given to Billy West, who also voices Fry, Professor Farnsworth, and Dr. Zoidberg.

And so, every time I see Zapp Brannigan on Futurama, I can’t help but think of what could have been.  Now, this is not meant as a demerit against Billy West: in fact, West’s Zapp is an excellent version of Hartman, and the Phil-like gusto just beams through every line. Even during tonight’s episode, I would’ve loved to hear Hartman work such dialogue as “Zapp, you magnificent bastard!” and “Kif, return fire… and the cake.” In tonight’s episode, Zapp provides a lot of comic energy and dimwitted confidence, as he falls passionately in love with Leela’s mother… to Leela’s sheer disgust.

But wait, how did we get there?  Well, the episode begins with a 40^th anniversary celebration for Leela’s parents, Morris and Munda, where we learn of their collegiate back-story: at Brown University, she majored in exolinguistics (the study of alien languages), and he was a clueless sewer surfer.  But, in a scene that is reminiscent of the disintegration of Milhouse’s parents’ marriage on The Simpsons, Munda snaps at how Morris essentially ruined her career goals, instead forcing her into a life in “the lucrative pot-roast-making field”.  After a wonderfully swift divorce, Munda is revved up to rejoin the dating scene.  And so, during a night out at the Mos Def Cantina, Munda’s language skills gain new life, as she manages to defuse an intergalactic war from breaking out between our world and the Carcarons.  You see, Zapp Brannigan decided to ignore the alien translator device and speak to the Carcarons directly. However, in true Zapp fashion, Zapp mangles the word for “congratulations” with the word for “spank your sister with bologna”.  But, Munda steps in, speaks to the Carcarons to correct Zapp’s error, and makes things right.  Before you know it, Zapp has hired Munda as her personal translator, and they’re madly in love.  (Zapp can’t help but appreciate “the cold, lifeless touch of her tentacle on my body”.)

Now, given what we know of Leela and Zapp’s history, the concept of Leela being disgusted by her mom’s new beau is highly viable… and the script kicks it up a notch by having Leela make the ultimate sacrifice: by trotting out the lingerie, working the stripper pole (well, her mom’s pole, that is), and thrusting herself upon Zapp at her apartment, in the hopes that Munda will catch them in the act and break up with him. But, it backfires majorly, as Zapp uses the opportunity to propose to Munda.  This leads to the third-act marriage ceremony on Zapp’s ship, where Zapp uses his captain powers to officiate his own marriage.  But, all falls apart when the Carcarons meet to sign the peace treaty, but learn that Zapp had every intention of going to war against them.  Enter Morris, who stowed away via the Planet Express ship’s sewer tank… and who manages to save the day, and remarry with Munda, by way of his surfing skills.

Morris is responsible for the episode’s best running gag, as he responds to life as a divorcee by becoming a ridiculously mellow surfer.  This leads to a hilarious montage where he invites Fry and Bender to catch some of the world’s biggest sewer waves, including halftime of the Rose Bowl, Carnival in Rio de Janiero, and St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin.  The St. Patrick’s Day scene is priceless, as Bender steals a pot of gold from a group of leprechauns, whom Morris manages to disintegrate into a bunch of Lucky Charms.  The joke returns with a vengeance in the third act, when Morris surfs El Torito and IHOP.  It's a simple joke, and perhaps a tired one, but leave it to the Futurama folks to find a way to energize it.

But two strong scenes and a great runner doesn't mean that the episode's entirely great. Sewer surfing notwithstanding, the sewer-life scenes on the series have always struck me as a bit one-note, and that manifests itself here tonight, too. (For example, they went to Brown University... get it? Brown University!!!)   And the episode’s finale, where Morris uses his surfing skills to operate the ship’s auxiliary controls, is awfully forced.  But, as in most episodes, we’ve got to get back to square one somehow. That's TV Comedy 101 right there! (Although, when we ended last week's episode, Calculon was still dead... will that stick? I hope not.)

Random notes:

• Here is the link to Comedy Central’s first Futurama Live! video chat, which was broadcast on comedycentral.com immediately after tonight’s episode.  It features Matt Groening, David X. Cohen, Billy West, John DiMaggio, and Maurice LaMarche.
• You get George Takei to appear as himself (or, in Futurama tradition, his disembodied head), and he only utters three words? Well, it’s better than nothing, I guess. (I want to believe that the reduced budget for the show’s Comedy Central return is responsible for the lack of guest voices.)
• Bender lost two straight hands – his actual hands – to The Borax Kid: “I don’t really have any use for these, but you can’t have them back.”
• I loved Zapp’s request to have Kif re-enact the Twilight Zone episode “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” on the ship’s wing.
• And now, enjoy the comedic stylings of Nixon & Agnew!!!
• Next week: Futurama takes on performance-enhancing drugs. Comedy Central already set a high bar with South Park’s “Up the Down Steroid”, so Fry and his buddies had better BRING IT. :-)
• But wait, there's more: If you enjoy animated TV series (and given you're reading this, you just might, be sure to join us this Sunday night, when we'll start covering the [adult swim] series Black Dynamite!!!

Talking Dead: The Walking Dead Season 3 Preview Special

Since its debut in October 2010, The Walking Dead has been AMC’s undisputable savior.  Sure, AMC has had an incredible streak of original scripted programming, including such towering TV greats as Mad Men and Breaking Bad. (Heck, I’ll even vouch for the dearly-departed Rubicon!) But The Walking Dead has been the channel’s breakout hit, pulling in record ratings for basic cable while cultivating a rabid fan base composed of both longtime fans of the Robert Kirkman graphic novel, as well as full-fledged Walking Dead newbies.

Now, AMC certainly knows that it has a ginormous hit on their hands… and in the past year or so, it’s become painfully evident to viewers that AMC intends to milk their cash cow dry.  It began just months after the first-season finale, in March 2011, when AMC and Anchor Bay released a quick, nearly-bare-bones version of Season 1 on DVD and Blu-ray… only to release a jam-packed Season 1 Special Edition the following October.   Then, AMC announced that it was planning to split The Walking Dead’s thirteen-episode second season into two batches: the six-episode first half aired in October and November (to tie in with AMC’s annual FearFest), followed by a 2.5-month hiatus, with the final seven episodes starting in February.  (Now, one would think that a huge break in the airing schedule would cause the show to lose momentum, but in fact, the show’s midseason premiere garnered the series’ biggest ratings to date... only to be topped by the season finale itself!)

On top of that, The Walking Dead has been used a platform to increase and promote AMC’s other original programming.  If you wanted to see a clip from next week’s episode of The Walking Dead, then you’d have to watch the episode of Hell on Wheels or Kevin Smith’s reality show Comic Book Men in order to get it. (In fact, AMC is pulling this trick again next week: In order to see the premiere of the 4-minute Season 3 trailer, you’ll have to endure the premiere of AMC’s crappy-looking new reality program, Small Town Security.  At least I can DVR the show and fast-forward through all the cameltoe.)

And then there’s Talking Dead.  Starting with the Season 2 premiere, AMC decided to stretch out the viewing experience of The Walking Dead by putting together a live post-episode discussion series hosted by Nerdist podcaster (and current pop-culture emissary) Chris Hardwick.  The setup is simple: cast and crew members from The Walking Dead, along with random celebrity fans (such as Patton Oswalt, Kevin Smith, and Zachary Levi), sit down for 30 minutes to discuss the Walking Dead episode that just aired.  It’s nothing revolutionary, but it’s certainly enticed fans to stick around on AMC after their weekly zombie fix…

…which brings us to tonight, and this weekend on AMC in general.  Season 3 is currently in production down in Atlanta, so to tide us over until the season premiere in October, AMC has put together the “Season 3 Preview Weekend”, in which they re-ran the series’ first two seasons (19 episodes total) marathon-style, leading into a special hour-long Season 3 preview episode of Talking Dead, followed by a special black-and-white airing of the pilot. On one hand, I was excited to see some juicy sneak peeks of Season 3 on tonight’s Talking Dead… but let’s be honest here: what we got was a painfully stretched-out hour of television, aimed at giving us as little of substance as possible while still ensuring that we kept our eyeballs glued to the TV for 60 minutes or so.

Let’s get the good stuff out of the way first: The Michonne scene was absolutely worth it. Even though it was only a meager 54 seconds long, it delivered the gory, katana-wielding goods.  At least AMC had the good sense to air a scene that they knew would get the fan base rabid and excited. Here’s a random YouTube capture of the scene in question; if it’s missing by the time you read this, I’m sure there will be a zillion copies on the Internet:

In second place was the tour of the prison set with Steven Yuen (aka Glen).  I’ve gotta say that the Walking Dead production team has cooked up a heck of an elaborate set (Hardwick and Yuen were keen to point out the blood spatter on the walls).  The other segments from Hardwick’s week on the Atlanta set (including visits with makeup guru Greg Nicotero, the show’s propmaster, and a brief moment with Laurie Holden) were alright, but the set tour dwarfed them all.

However, all that aforementioned footage took up no more than 10 minutes of tonight’s 45-minute program.  The rest was a classic case study in diversion tactics and padding for time.  Sure, there were a few, extremely sporadic juicy tidbits: for example, Merle’s returning in Season 3! (And he’s full of “anger and racism”!) But Hardwick’s continued visible frustrations at asking Glen Mazzara, Gale Anne Hurd, and Peter Alpert for insight into Season 3 – and the non-answers he received in the process – didn’t make for compelling television.  And then, there was tonight’s celebrity super-fan… Drew Carey!?!??! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m quite fond of Drew Carey from his Drew Carey Show/Whose Line? days, but he seemed a wee bit out of place here.  The low point was when Carey mentioned that he gave up on Lost because that show’s characters made stupid decisions… something which he claimed the characters on The Walking Dead never do.  I’ll refrain from any further comment. ;-)

Plus, there were all the plugs for Walking Dead merchandise: the 2013 video game; Wednesday’s 100^th issue of the Kirkman comic (complete with eight – count ‘em, eight! – collectible covers!); the exclusive Comic-Con obstacle course cover; other promotions for the show’s Comic-Con appearance this coming weekend… you get the picture.  Like I said, I'm very aware that the show is a cash cow, and I am aware that the hour we watched tonight was nothing more than a commercial for the new season, but I didn't need the entire show to feel like an advertisement. (Although, in their defense, AMC has to pull in a bunch of money to pay for Mad Men somehow...)

Maybe I'm being a wee bit too hard on tonight's Talking Dead episode... in fact, I'd say I certainly am. But still, I couldn't help but want a decent amount of substance.  Perhaps if AMC didn't feel the need to rush a preview special onto the air as soon as possible, and waited a month of so, when they would've had more episodes of The Walking Dead in the can, it could've been something special. But for now, I'll just rewatch those 54 seconds over and over again. I mean, that slice-and-dice sound mix is pretty awesome, you know... :-)

Random notes:

• FYI: Season 3, which (again) will begin airing in October, is going to be 16 episodes long! Given the traditional cable TV season for a scripted series is 13 episodes, that’s a staggering vote of confidence by AMC.
• I don’t plan on discussing the black-and-white version of the pilot… mainly because it was on the Season 1 Special Edition DVD and Blu-ray that came out last October.  (The black-and-white version, which was meant to emulate the comic book, was put together by the show’s creator, Frank Darabont for the video release; Darabont did something similar for the DVD release of his 2007 flick The Mist.)
• I can’t believe that Chris Hardwick made a Shawshank joke during tonight’s show, given AMC’s attempts to distance Shawshank director Frank Darabont from the series he created... and which he was unceremoniously fired from last summer. Hopefully, they won’t fire Hardwick, too, as a result of his gaffe. ;-)
• Speaking of Frank Darabont: His new cable series, L.A. Noir, which stars Shane himself, Jon Bernthal, is expected to get a series order very soon over at TNT. (And no, the series has nothing to do with that video game from a couple of years back... just so you know.)
• Chris Hardwick with a machine gun… that is all.
• Seriously, just a single still picture of David Morrissey as the Governor? Let’s hope next week’s trailer gives us a more substantial peek… let’s hope.
• Season 4: The Game of Thrones/Walking Dead crossover you’ve all been waiting for! ;-)
• Another quotable phrase from Chris Hardwick: “serious nerd boners”.
• We’ll be returning to AMC next week to begin coverage of the fifth and final season of Breaking Bad. Please join us!

True Blood, Episode 5.05: "Let’s Boot and Rally"

“Took you long enough,” utters an in-the-flesh Russell Edgington at the tail end of tonight’s episode. And indeed, it took a while: we’re now 5 episodes through a 12-episode season, and tonight’s installment – particularly the final 20 minutes – really gave me the sense that we’re finally heading into the meat of the season, as the point and purpose of various plot threads began to make themselves clear.  We’re on the cusp of payoff… and tonight’s episode was a glorious tease of what’s coming ‘round the bend.

Tonight’s episode had a nice sense of immediacy, because it takes place within the span of a handful of hours. Now, that was primarily to set up the suspense of Bill and Eric’s need to find Russell before dawn… or risk the activation of their iStakes. (Yay for arbitrary ticking clocks!) However, if there was one downside to the narrow timeframe, it was how quickly Sookie came back around to Bill and Eric, after her epic denouncement of her two suitors in the Season 4 finale.  In fact, given the brevity of tonight’s episode (44 minutes, without credits), it may not have hurt to spend a wee bit more screen time for Sookie to acknowledge where they had left things off… especially since Bill and Eric’s return interrupted Sookie and Alcide in the heat of passion.  Sookie did get some clever lines in, acknowledging the vicious cycle she’s in – “A 3,000-year-old vampire wants to suck my blood! Must be Thursday!” and “Onwards into the jaws of death!”

Sookie’s usefulness is quite helpful tonight, as she takes a peek inside the head of Doug, the construction site manager who became an unwitting accomplice to Russell’s revival.  Sookie’s exploration uncovers two key things: a female member of the authority dug Russell out of his concrete grave, after which Doug carried Russell to the Babcock Hospital, a former insane asylum.  And so Sookie, Bill, Eric, Alcide, and a perpetually-frightened Doug head to the asylum, where we quickly see evidence of Russell’s recuperation – a hearty pile of drained bodies with rats crawling all over them.  If that weren’t enough, a room in the asylum uncovers a bunch of still-alive humans, hanging in straitjackets, waiting for Russell to take a drink.   A helpful, albeit freaked-out-of-his-mind, prisoner points the gang toward the room where Russell is… and in the episode’s final scene, we find Russell on a hospital bed, still looking somewhat weak. But it quickly becomes apparent that Russell has more than a few tricks up his sleeve… beginning with the swift capture of Alcide.

It’s weird to see True Blood head into such spooky territory; for a show that’s so focused on gore and sex, I’m not used to its attempts to provide some horror. Granted, it felt a bit awkward – the whole creepy-insane-asylum setting felt made it easy to mistake the Sookie gang for the Scooby Gang.  Still, it was a somewhat interesting change of place… and the brief, brief glimpse of Russell was a delicious tease for what’s to come.  The show’s finished the build-up; now we just need the payoff… and it had better come next week in spades.

The second most significant plot of the night, surprisingly, belong to Terry and Patrick, as we finally found out what the heck their story’s purpose is.  As it turns out, last week’s Iraq massacre flashback had one unintended – albeit clichéd – consequence: One of the Iraqi folks that was shot wasn’t quite dead yet.  Patrick orders Terry to shoot her and finish the job, but before he does, the woman places a curse on the soldiers: she sends upon them an ifrit, which is basically a fire-and-smoke evil spirit.  Now, if it weren’t enough to place a curse on poor Terry, we get a pissed-off version of the Smoke Monster from Lost, too!  And, fortunately enough, we get our first moment of the ifrit in action: Terry and Patrick manage to get Eller, their captor, to let them go… but Patrick knocks Eller unconscious and ties him to a chair in the bunker… where the ifrit seeps in and turns Eller into a Post Toastie.

Probably my favorite scene of the episode, believe it or not, came from the Tara plot! (Cue shocked gasps!)  Recognizing her bartending skills from Merlotte’s, Pam has installed Tara as the bartender at Fangtasia.  And wouldn’t you know it, one of Tara’s first customers is Jessica… which leads to a nicely-written scene where the two ladies compare notes on their transitions into vampire-hood, and even contemplate being vampire girlfriends! (Aww…) It’s a nice sequence that really helps to make the vampire experience seem a bit more tangible and accessible… and it also helped for Jessica to recollect on her vampire experiences and provide sage advice. (I still find it a bit hard to believe that Jessica’s been a vampire since the tail end of Season 1!) However, Tara and Jessica’s mutual appreciation doesn’t last, as they face off in a fierce battle sequence in the bathroom after Jessica finds that Tara is feeding on Hoyt in the stall… and yes, Hoyt is still looking like the world’s weirdest fangbanger.

The other plot threads were short-shrifted tonight… although story-wise, they didn’t have much to offer anyways.  Jason’s He-Man-Footie-Pajamas Dream seemed to be another setup for the inevitable storyline where Jason will investigate The Real Cause of His Parents’ Death.  As for Sam, it was nice to see him with some core cast members for once, as Jason and Andy come over to investigate the scene of last week’s (or, to use series chronology, that night’s) shape-shifter shooting.  It was nice to see Sam’s portion of the show gain some momentum, as both Sam and Nora are shot at the episode’s end by some sort of anti-shifter group wielding shotguns and wearing Obama masks.  (Given the recent chaos that stemmed from Game of Thrones’ use of Bush masks, the HBO executive have got to be scared shitless about how people will interpret tonight’s ending. Yay controversy?)  Oh, and lest we forget, we got a Jesús appearance tonight! Yes, even though it was his severed, mouth-sewn-up head, he still came by to provide some sort of sign to Lafayette (and his mama!) to combat the brujo demon that took over him last week.  Hopefully, this side plot will get some traction really soon… especially since next week is the midpoint of the season.

If nothing else, tonight’s episode gave the season some much-needed momentum… and I have high hopes for next week’s episode – partially because it was written by True Blood creator Alan Ball (creator-penned episodes are always a giveaway as to their significance), and partially because it was aggressively played up by HBO’s promo department after the end of tonight’s show.  It won’t be too hard for next week to deliver the best episode of the season so far – so let’s hope it does just that!

Random notes:

• I wonder how much Arlene’s CGI hand cost in order to cover up Andy’s junk. (The eerily precise hand movement was a dead giveaway.)
• Did I hear that Bill and Eric went to the Kwik-E-Mart? I hope they said hi to Apu for me. ;-)
• The Authority’s janitorial staff must be pretty experienced in blood-stain clean-up.
• We be talkin’ about transubstantiation up in the Authority tonight! YEAHHHHHHH!
• “Are we gonna talk about the fact that I puked on your shoes?” “NOPE.”
• “I have a headache, and I gotta pee something fierce!”
• In the words of Eller, look Ifrit up! F***ing Google it!
• How soon into next week’s episode will Doug bite the big one? I encourage you to place your bets now.  (I’ll guess 12 minutes into the episode… although I won’t exclude a possibility of a cold-opening demise.)
• So, here’s the plan for the next several weeks: the True Blood review won’t go up until Monday night, likely, because I’ll likely be watching Breaking Bad immediately afterwards.  And, since it’s very likely that I’ll be giving write-up priority to Breaking Bad, True Blood might have to suffer as a result.  Perhaps I’ll be really ambitious and get a True Blood review up Sunday night yet (especially if it’s really, really good)… but again, I’ll make no promises.