Futurama, Episodes 7.12 and 7.13: "31st Century Fox" and "Naturama"

Well, I'll just come out and say it: tonight's Futurama doubleheader was pretty darn disappointing, and a sad way to wrap up the season. I'm just not used to a single episode of Futurama being this inert… but two of 'em? Say it ain't so! And especially considering the offbeat nature episode that ended this hour, I shouldn't have been this underwhelmed. Sigh…

The first show tonight, "31st Century Fox", had a germ of a fun idea - Bender crusading against robot violence after witnessing a fox robot hunt. And, to their credit, the second act started to have some fun with the concept, as Bender takes down robot egg farms, a robot duck shooting gallery at a fair, and even a robot butcher shop (where a robot pig was sliced, diced, and ground into robot sausage). But it ended up being wrapped in a weak fox hunting plot line… and even worse, it managed to waste the considerable talent of guest star Sir Patrick Stewart, who played the fox hunt master. But there were still some fun sight gags - such as the Planet Express crew trying on famous sci-fi uniforms, from Red Shirt Fry to Farnsworth's Zardoz gear. And the ultimately ludicrous nature of the club - robot fox hunters hunting robot foxes with robot hounds - was an amusing way to end the episode.  But the overall execution led to surprisingly few memorable moments for a typical Futurama installment.

And then, there was tonight's second episode, "Naturama". Now, the trilogy episode has been a common recurrence on Futurama, starting with the "Anthologies of Interest". In fact, every year on Comedy Central has brought us such an episode… from "The Futurama Holiday Spectacular" to last year's absolutely awesome "Reincarnation", which reworked the show into three genres: old-timey black-and-white animation; a riff on video games; and an anime adventure. But tonight's episode, as different and high-concept as it was, just lacked the creative energy that I would've expected.

The episode was structured as a spoof of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom - here rechristened as Mutual of Omnicron's Wild Universe, sponsored by Mutual of Omnicron: "Have you insured your planet?" With the help of Phil LaMarr's Morgan Freeman-esque narration, we were treated to the life cycles of three creatures. In the first episode, we witnessed the mating of salmon, with Salmon Fry hoping to woo Salmon Leela from Salmon Zapp. The second episode takes place on the Galapagos Islands, with Farnsworth as the last male Pinta Island tortoise, who, with the help of various characters -as-finches (including Bender, Leela, Amy and Hermes) and an iguana version of Bender - makes an arduous 100-yard trek to find a mate and save his species. The final installment focuses on "the clown of the sea", the elephant seal, with Seal Kif hoping to win Seal Amy from Bender, the seal beachmaster.

As you can start to tell, there's not much inventiveness to the episode, aside from the recasting of our characters as various creatures. All they've done is rehashed the various romantic plot threads from the serious in a nature-documentary construct… which isn't much. And once you get past seeing our characters in various permutations - from the Hedonismbot salmon to a Nibler fish - there's not much comedic energy left to milk. The one great Futurama touch was how each story ends with as much death and depression as absolutely possible - an aspect amplified by LaMarr's narration. (Sample line: "And so the endless circle of life comes to an end… meaningless and grim.")

I feel like I'm in a weird position with tonight's shows, because even the weaker episodes still have tons of strengths to their credit. But I just wasn't impressed that much, and so I'm inclined to think that maybe, just maybe, I watched it wrong. But hopefully, this isn't a sign that Futurama's creative steam is running out. Remember, we've still got 13 episodes left to air next summer… and although it's looking increasingly likely that next year will be the last batch of Futurama episodes that we'll get, I'm still hoping that we'll get some quality installments. (Supposedly, the last episode to air next year has been written as a series finale, in case Comedy Central decides not to order another season.) Feel free to let me know if you think I'm in the wrong, but tonight's hour just didn't hit as well as I would've hoped.

And that's it! Thanks for reading our Futurama coverage this summer, and hopefully we'll see you here next June!

Random notes:

• Other uniforms included Storm Trooper Zoidberg, Barbarella Leela, and Amy in the stewardess uniform from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
• "Hey, you people can't just burst in like that and cut off my hand!"
• "Today, we hunt the most dangerous game - aside from lawn darts!"
• "Fox news, everyone!"
• Mmm… Newmar's Own Catnip!
• "We're hot on his heels! Ah… one of his heels!"
• "Tell Your Parents It's Educational!"
• "I'm a Pisces! We're all Pisces!"
• Nature's waterfall: the cliff of the waters!
• My single biggest laugh of "Naturama": "I am Brrr, devourer of fish and honey!!!!!!!!"
• "And so, the extinction of the Pinta Island tortoise is assured… For in the end, nature is horrific and teaches us nothing!"
• "I'm 40% ass!"
• "Kill all penguins… kill all penguins…"
• "For a holographic brain injection of tonight's program, send $5 to this station courtesy of me, the Narrator!"

True Blood, Episode 5.12: "Save Yourself"

Well, that was a big, bloody ball of fun, wasn't it? Tonight's True Blood finale certainly brought the gore and the action, not to mention a lot of seismic plot developments designed to set up next summer's sixth season. With tonight's installment being the last episode overseen by the show's creator, Alan Ball, I'll at least give him credit with providing a lot of plot material for the first few episodes of Season 6 to thrive on. I almost got the impression that tonight's episode was more about trying to make next year good, at the expense of essentially giving up on this season's arcs. But at least we had a cesspool of blood to make up for it. :-)

The pile of vampire goo began right in the first minute, with Bill swinging by to stake Russell right before he begins his fairie feast. It's a sadly swift resolution to our favorite character on the show… although he, at least, got a "Oh, fuck!" in before his demise. And while it's always nice to see Bloody Vampire Goo on True Blood, the painfully abrupt resolution of all this fairie stuff certainly makes me glad that we spent all this time on something that had very little effect on this season. (Even better is the fact that we didn't get any resolution on the Warlow thread tonight, either: Whether this will be season 6 plot fodder or something that will be forgotten from here on out remains to be seen. I sincerely hope it's not the latter.)

With the fairies out of the way, the finale becomes a very Authority-heavy endeavor, with Sookie, Jason and Tara joining the dozen-or-zo regular cast members that are already underground. But before we get to the Authority carnage, let's drop in on the episode's two cutaway plots. First, let's get the Alcide stuff out of the way, as Daddy T-1000 gave Alcide a dose of his secret stash of V in order to pummel J.D. into a pulp and take reign as Packmaster. For the sake of early-episode tension, we also get a quick scene of Rikki coping from a force-fed dose of V, which ultimately leads Alcide to head down for J.D.'s beatdown. Will anything exciting happen with the werewolves next year, now that Alcide's in charge? I'm more than skeptical… but hey, doesn't it seem like the pack lots have served as little more than cutaway scenes up to this point?

The other cutaway plot tonight was a bizarre one: Andy and Maurella swing by Merlotte's so that Andy can tell Holly about his little fairy-impregnation situation. But, after an epic guzzling of salt, Maurella's light breaks, and before you know it, Maurella's giving birth in front of Andy… while Holly, Arlene and Lafayette watch with their Cajun margaritas in hand. Ultimately, Andy has himself not one, but four little fairy babies! If that weren't enough, Maurella then immediately ditches Andy, with only the instructions that at least half the babies must make it into adulthood. You know, it's a long-held rule of television that when babies are added into the mix, it's a sure sign that a show is long in the tooth. And even though Andy Dufresne's reliable comic relief is here to help us out, I'm not sure what this little development means for the show as we head into next season. If anything, I'm only slightly more excited for this than the pack stuff from the previous paragraph.

But aside from those two plots, it's basically a massacre at the Authority, with Jason Stackhouse leading the charge in completely inconspicuous mission gear. (Throughout the episode, a walnut-sized concussion leads Jason to hallucinate visions of his parents, who fully support him in his quest to kill as many vamps as possible.) There's a lot of red to go around… and heck, even Sam gets in the action, as he flies into the old councilor lady's mouth and shifts back inside of her, causing a bodily explosion… and a blood-drenched Sam. (The scenes leading up to this, with Luna assuming Rev. Steve's form in order to get Emma out of her cell, are amusing… although it is important to know that the real Rev. Steve is still out on the loose, waiting to strike next season… or so, I'd hope.)

But it's The Quest for Bill's Humanity that ends up taking over the episode's plot momentum. All throughout this season, we've been left to wonder exactly what Bill's endgame is with his increasing shift towards Lilith's side. And for a minute there tonight, it seemed that perhaps Bill was attempting to destroy the Authority from the inside, what with him putting silver in the vial of Lilith's blood, waiting for somebody to drink it up… like Salome. But then, as soon as that was resolved, Bill whips out the real vial of Lilith's blood and chugs, chugs, chugs. Suddenly, Bill himself dissolves into a puddle of blood… but then, True Blood whipped out the T-1000 special effects (that's why they brought on Robert Patrick!) and had Bill rise from the blood to become… BILLITH!!! (Duh, duh, duh!!!!!) Cue end credits!

So how will the show proceed with Billith? More specifically, will his super-villianry actually stick? This is True Blood, after all, where pretty much any cliffhanger can (and usually will) be resolved within the first 30 seconds of the next episode. But this is pretty darn major, mind you… and this has the ability to shake up the very foundation of the series as we know it. The question is: Will the show take advantage of this golden opportunity? I'm almost betting on a reset by the end of the Season 6 premiere… but if, say, HBO were to announce that next summer is the final season of True Blood, I could honestly seem them making Billith the true Season 6 Big Bad, to help bring things home. Besides, we've still got a bunch of real-world humans-versus-vampires chaos to resolve, which hasn't really even been touched upon during the tail end of this season. If Billith is the one who can turn this into full-blown war, we could have an epic final season on our hands… but again, this depends solely on whether HBO is ready to part with one of its few drama franchises. Given that HBO's only tentpoles are this, Game of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire - the latter of which resumes in a few weeks - HBO will probably find a way to cling to it for at least two more years, making the series even more tired than it already is.

So, in the end, was Season 5 worth it? As much as I hate to say it, I can't say it was: Based on my recollections, only 2 out of the 12 episodes this season were top-to-bottom entertaining, which is pretty darn low for this series. The entire Authority-heavy first half of this season was misguided and lacking momentum, and while bringing Russell Edgington back into play for the second half was much appreciated, it only spoke to the misguidings of this season when even Russell himself stated how bored he was with the show's political material. In fact, it's almost disheartening to see how the lethargic nature of this season has essentially turned this season into a setup for next year: Sure, there's a lot of juicy stuff to work with… but think of what could've been done if we dumped the first half of season 5 and molded all this cliffhanger plot material into the second half of this season. It just seems like it would've been a more valuable use of our time.

So, we'll see what happens. We're due to start hearing some casting decisions for Season 6 shortly, and I'm curious to see who they'll bring on, in the hopes that they'll cull together some exciting actors. But, I can only hope that next year won't be as much of a near-total waste of my time as this year. And my apologies if I've seemed too harsh on this show this summer, but I've tried to approach it as a longtime fan of the show who loves it when the show indulges in the craziness of its premise and its various characters. But even from the fan base, I doubt you'll hear anyone say, "Yeah, Season 5 was really good!" When a season underwhelms, it hurts, and it doesn't bode much confidence for the future.

But hey, at least the finale was good, right? Right? :-D

Random notes:

• Prior to tonight's episode, HBO provided a very brief tease for Alan Ball's next series, Banshee, which premieres next year on sister station Cinemax. Here's a version of tonight's trailer, although the YouTube clip doesn't have the few seconds of actual pilot footage that the HBO preview did.
• HBO GO has a bonus deleted scene from tonight's episode available, in which our vampire-killing crew are waiting in the elevator.
• For those of you who want to take the gamble, you can see Alexander Skarsgard in feature-film action when Battleship hits Blu-ray this Tuesday!
• "Bloodbag." "Leech." "Breather." "Dead fuck." "Meatsack."
• "Just think how many vampires you can kill in there, champ!"
• "If I wanna be a fool, then I will be a fool. That is my God-given right as an American!"
• "The blonde smells amazing."
• "I can't believe I am midwifing for your pregnant girlfriend… that I just found out about!"
• Merlotte's is going to need some more tight T-shirts after giving them all to those babies tonight.
• "When did Andy Bellefleur get to be so fucking hot?"
• How about a Tara/Pam kiss for the win tonight, eh? It's a fun conclusion to what's been one of the season's most surprisingly endearing relationship.
• The True Blood crew really laid on the fly POV shots tonight… a little too trippy for my tastes, but still kind of cool.
• "I aced my statistics exam!"

Breaking Bad, Episode 5.06: "Buyout"

How far is too far? That was one of the questions raised by the ending of "Dead Freight", the train heist episode that resulted in the shooting of a little boy. Certainly, Breaking Bad has done some more-than-questionable things, up to and including the poisoning and near-death of li'l Brock in Season 4. But, now that the show has crossed that line, viewers have started to cringe at the show's plummeting morality. Fortunately, the show itself realizes it, too, as evidenced by "Buyout", which sees the new meth partnership threaten to crumble in the heist's aftermath.

First off, what to do with Todd, a.k.a. our beloved multi-TV-series serial killer, a.k.a. "Ricky Hitler"? Well, all he gets for his troubles is a punch in the face from Jesse and a very stern warning from Mike: "The next time you bring a gun to a job without telling me, I will stick it up your ass sideways." In a twisted move, however, Todd decides to bring home with him the kid's tarantula… which means that I can only expect the critter to come back into play in the summer's last 2 episodes, perhaps with screamingly funny results. In any case, Mike knows darn well that he's not going to create a bigger mess than is necessary… the kid's disappearance has already become a local news story, and there's no need for him to call further attention to it.

Now, it's not surprising for Jesse to ask to exit the partnership in the wake of this mess: He was about to crumble when Brock was fighting for his life, and as the show's emerging moral center, he no doubt reopened all those emotions in the wake of the dirt bike kid's death. Take the episode's opening, where Walt, Mike and Jesse dispose of the evidence in hydrofluoric acid. We've seen Walt and Jesse do this many times, starting with the series' second episode (where HFl was used to shocking comic effect, no less). But this time, the atmosphere is drenched with silence and dread, even though most of what we see is of them dismantling the dirt bike. When it comes time for the kid (whose hand peeks through under a pile of dirt), and Walt cracks open another plastic barrel, we know we've headed to a very dark place… and fortunately, the show spares us the sight of seeing this play out on-screen. Nonetheless, the cold open is a haunting piece of work, adding moral weight to the series and setting the tone for Jesse's escape.

But as for Mike wanting out? Well, now that's a cause for concern. But his rationale isn't strictly on account of the kid: He's been tailed by the DEA extensively (including our friend Gomez), to the point where he can't even spend some time at the park with his daughter without the cops watching. (To send a signal to the DEA, he makes a "drop" at the park, which is nothing more than a "F*** YOU" note… you gotta love Breaking Bad's desire to infrequently drop the F-word, even though there's no chance it will be heard - or in this case, seen - on basic cable. Bring on the uncensored Blu-rays!)

So, Mike and Jesse decide to pull out, taking their shares of the stolen methylamine with them: a whopping 333 gallons each, leaving Walt with an equal share with which to continue cooking meth. Mike has located a buyer for the methylamine, who wants to pay Mike and Jesse $5 million each for their share. But, Walt attempts to sway Jesse back by stating that the meth, if it's all cooked, will net them a whopping $300 million… and that Jesse would only make pennies on the dollar if he sells out. Walt's greed is in full force here, and here's where the show effectively invokes its past in order to justify his actions; as he later tells Jesse when he stops by the White house, Walt's complicated past with Gray Matter has led him to no longer be part of a company that's worth $2.16 BILLION today. (Also, kudos on Jesse for calling out that Walt needs only $737,000, as he himself calculated in the Season 2 premiere.) As Walt's latest pompous quote indicate, he's no longer in either the meth business or the money business: "I'm in the empire business."

And at this point, the empire is all that Walt has left… as evidenced by the insanely awkward dinner scene between Walt, Skyler and unexpected dinner guest Jesse, who attempts to break the awkward silence between the couple with such Jesse-isms as "Hell yeah, I'm stoked for this lasagna!" and "Yo, whatever happened to truth in advertising?". We already know of Skyler's issues towards Walt from past episodes, but this episode complicates matters even more when she discovers that Walt revealed her affair with Ted to Marie. But, Walt being who he is, he's apt to play Skyler's disgust to bring Jesse to his side, by invoking sympathy from Skyler's wish, "I'm waiting for the cancer to come back."

But, as the episode ends, we've got a bit of a complication: The potential methylamine buyer will only take Mike and Jesse's shares of the chemical if he can get a hold of Walt's share, too. For him, the $15 million doesn't just buy him 1,000 gallons of the chemical: he's also essentially buying the ability to get Heisenberg's blue meth off the street. And with that, the pendulum of power swings mercilessly back to Walt, who attempts to steal the methylamine the night before the big deal. Unfortunately, Mike is there waiting for him: "I bought you might try something stupid." Mike plans on selling Walt's share along with the others tomorrow morning, and to ensure that Walt doesn't screw things up, Mike and Walt spend the entire night together at the Vamanos Pest building. However, Mike has to take care of some business at the DEA - he brings in Saul to announce that's pressing charges for 'police harassment of a senior citizen', and requests a restraining order. To that extent, Mike zip-ties Walt's wrist to a radiator in order to ensure that he doesn't run off… but Walt gets out by yanking the plug from a coffee pot and exposing it to burn the zip-tie open, in a bad-ass display of science, yo!

And so, Walt manages to hide the methylamine… which, when Mike discovers what happened, enrages him to no end, to the extent that he puts a gun to Walt's head. But then the show sets up quite a cliffhanger for next week: Walt has managed to figure out a plan that will ensure that everyone gets their $5 million… and Walt gets to keep his methylamine. ("Everybody wins!") The key to this scene - the one thing that has me excited about the next episode - is Jesse's passioned plea that the plan is, in fact, really that good. I hope this isn't a simple dilution tactic, like we did last week (the fact that they already have the pure sample would be a way to facilitate it), but being Breaking Bad, I hope that there's a more clever solution in play.

Random notes:

• Bryan Cranston is directing an upcoming episode from the final season of The Office! He's no stranger to the directing game: He helmed an episode of Modern Family last season, and he's helmed two episodes of Breaking Bad to date (not to mention seven episodes of his previous series, Malcolm in the Middle).
• "You guys didn't tell me this stuff smells like cat piss."
• The dirt bike kid's name is Drew Sharp. However, at this point, Dirt Bike Kid is a more descriptive name, so I'll probably use that going forward. :-)
• Quote of the Episode, courtesy of Mike: "I would never come to the headquarters of our illegal meth operation dragging a bunch of cops, Walter. It would be unwise."
• Nice shot of the Heisenberg hat by Walt's bed to kick off the home scenes with Jesse and Skyler.
• "You know my kids are gone?" "Thank God."
• "You know, I have never seen anybody work so hard to not make $5 million."
• Next week: The deal goes down! I promise that next episode's review will go up much sooner than this week's did… so come back soon!

Futurama, Episode 7.11: "Viva Mars Vegas"

When I saw that tonight's Futurama was going to revolve around a snazzy, Ocean's-like casino heist, I was immediately excited. Now, who doesn't love a good heist plot? Heck, we're not that far removed from last week's awesome Breaking Bad train robbery, and now here comes Team Futurama to continue the momentum. I'll admit that the heist itself wasn't that complex (having an invisible Zoidberg conveniently removes a heck of a lot of complications), but Futurama piled on some brilliant comedic grace notes. Chief among them was the quick-succession triple threat of (in order) Bender as a crazy Texas robot millionaire, Hermes as a e-mailing Nigerian Prime Minister, and Zoidberg as a young Internet billionaire. The touch of Amy explaining the details of the heist during said heist was a nice riff on an old cliche. And the bizarre brilliance of the heretofore-unused Chart Room made for a great scene; I sincerely hope that they'll use it again.

What impressed me even more was how Futurama laid on as many casino tropes as possible: not just the Ocean's riff, but also the Wong's use of "native Martians" for casino staff; the Casino-like breakdown of casino secrets such as the money-counting room; and of course, the mob's takeover of Vegas. (And before you ask: no, upcoming Vegas mob boss Michael Chiklis didn't stop by for a voice cameo.)

The "big spender Zoidberg" first arc came off well enough, mainly because it wasn't overplayed (although, to be honest, there was simply too much to cram into this episode to allow for more of a focus). The roulette scene, in particular, managed to effectively draw out the suspense, even with the predictability that Zoidberg's going to lose all that money - all $10.368 billion of it. (This is an episodic cartoon series, folks: we can't change the status quo!)

All in all, this was just a really fun episode - again, par for the course when you're dealing with a heist job - and I'm certainly hoping this momentum will carry into next week's finale.

Random notes:

• Yep, Futurama went to the Jar Jar Binks joke well… although props to them for merging Binks with Brinks security.
• One ticket for Sentient Carrot Top, please!
• Fry, unfortunately, was saddled by a Hangover Part II joke. C'mon, guys; he deserves a better movie than that!
• Zoidberg burping the cash during the ending reminded me of the casino episode of The Simpsons where Barney consumed a cup of quarters: "Hey, that guy's paying off!"
• The hand-made opening commissioned by Comedy Central earlier this summer is now part of the series itself! Hooray!
• Next week: The double-episode season finale!

True Blood, Episode 5.11: "Sunset"

So you know how I talked last week about how True Blood was effectively getting its characters into place for the final showdown? Well, as much as I hate to say it, this week's episode - the second-to-last of the season - felt like more of the same: It spent much of its time in the service of setting up the show's chessboard as well. In this week's case, the narrative took great pains to get the majority of the expansive cast into one of either two locations: the Secret Underground Authority Lair, or Fairie Moulin Rouge. I had hoped that this week would start delivering significant payoffs that we've been waiting for all season… but if anything,  the only major play this episode pulls off is to set up the Russell-versus-the-fairy-population cliffhanger… which, of course, is just a tease for next week. It puts the finale in a tricky spot: now, more than ever, next week's episode is a last-ditch make-or-break effort to save the season… and right now, I'm a bit of a pessimist about it. But yet, I still believe it can save itself… with a few unconventional choices, that is.

For example, after seeing this week's Authority scenes, I'm secretly hoping that the season finale will take the Authority material to its logical conclusion… by turning it into full-blown farce. Every single thing that happened down in the bunker this week could easily be turned into slapstick… and at this point, the show might be better for it. For example, think of the Weekend at Bernie's-like hilarity that could've resulted out of the Authority deciding how to handle General Cavanaugh's body! Think of all the wacky confusion that's certain to play out next week when everyone realizes that Lilith has chosen each of them to be the new leader! ("She chose you?" But she chose me!") Since Sam and Luna are underground, too, we can have a bunch of slapstick rat chases through the corridors… or heck, let's have them unshift, so we can milk the hilarity of naked shape shifters for all their worth! Or, at the very least, let's just have dozens of "What are you doing down here?" exchanges, like the one that Pam and Sam had near the end of this week's show. Unfortunately, Vampire Blake Edwards is not listed as the director for next week's episode to ensure that this will happen… but will the director of Hudson Hawk suffice? ;-)

The other major chunk of this week's episode took place over at Fairie Moulin Rouge, which hasn't been the most exciting setting of this season. The scenes with the Elder Fairie didn't help in this regard, because it was just so goofy and unrevealing… seriously, Ke$ha and John Cougar Mellencamp jokes? But once Russell and Steve found their way to the portal (thanks to the glamouring of QB-1 Jason Stackhouse), things immediately energized. Now, that's not a surprising assessment by any means… but Denis O'Hare's scenery chewing as he sniffed out the fairie portal (and the subsequent guzzling of the Elder Fairie's blood) is, as always, so tremendous that it's worth the accolades. I can only hope that next week's fairie army will sustain that excitement, and provide a formidable challenge for our Dynamic Deadly Duo of Russell and Steve.

That leaves us with just a handful of characters who aren't involved in either of these plots… which, more than anything, probably speaks to the uselessness of their characters on the show. Terry and Arlene had a perfunctory scene midway through tonight's episode… mainly to remind us that they're still part of the show, even though their plot for the season has wrapped up. Sheriff Andy has been blessed with a late-in-the-season revelation - that he knocked up his fairy friend Maurella, who, after just one week, is very pregnant. Finally, there's the scenes with Alcide and his dad, which still seemed perfunctory in the grand scheme of things… but still, the mere presence of Robert "T-1000" Patrick has piqued my interest, even if there's no direct relation to the plot at hand.

So, will next week deliver? There's a lot at stake: the finale is written by series creator Alan Ball, who's stepping down as the series' show runner after next week's show. I certainly hope that he'll put his all into the script and craft an excellent and satisfying conclusion… both for the season's sake and to properly conclude his time on the show. So, be sure to join us next week, when we'll break down the finale and the season as a whole. See you then!

Random notes:

• "Since when did I become a halfway house for unwieldily baby vamps?"
• Tonight's True Blood cinematographic flourish: the rat-to-human POV shots!
• "I'm sorry for putting your butt up on Facebook."
• Pam Quote of the Night: "Maybe later we can braid each other's hair and talk about boys! Fucking baby vamps!"
• "I'm a bitch, not a snitch! Love it!"
• So, umm… will a Pam/Tara 'ship actually happen? Place your bets!
• This week wasn't as awesome in the vampire-killing department as last week, but there were still some goods: Jason taking out the Authority guards with wooden bullets, Eric's double-stake "Can I change the station?" psych-out, and perhaps awesomest of all: the T-1000 rocking the bow and arrow!
• "Oh, sweet merciful fuck! That was delicious! Heaven, thy name is fairy!"
• Boyz II Men: for or against?
• This review was brought to you by Campbell's Soup: the only microwavable soup that's good enough for Southern werewolves!

Futurama, Episode 7.10: "Near-Death Wish"

Tonight's Futurama starts off with the annual Clippie Awards, honoring the best delivery boys… and good ol' Fry is nominated for Best Delivery Boy - Newspaper, Phone Book or Miscellaneous! Fortunately, Fry manages to pull off the win… if only because all the other nominees in his category were previously featured in the show's death reel. But, his win is dampened by the fact that Professor Farnsworth didn't show up for the Clippies. Farnsworth's excuse? "I came down with a searing case of 'Who gives a crap?'" Yes, Fry is saddened that the only living relative he knows doesn't care about him… but Fry perks up when he realizes that Farnsworth's parents are still alive… or, in suspended animation on the Near-Death Star. And thus, we're off!

Using the surprising power of his Clippie win, Fry manages to locate Farnsworth's parents - hereafter referred to as "Gram-Gram" and "Shabadoo" - amidst a handsomely-animted organizational structure that will quickly remind viewers of the innards of The Matrix. This leads to the episode's best sequence: a ridiculously lengthy discussion in which Fry, Leela and Bender mock The Matrix for its concept of humans being able to generate significant amounts of electricity… even though this is, magically, a feasible idea in this version of the future! (And if that's not enough, the episode quickly follows this up with a brief bullet-time jab!) The gang manages to insert themselves into Gram-Gram and Shabadoo's virtual-reality retirement home, where Fry quickly hits it off with them… to the extent that Fry wishes that he could bring them back with him. You can imagine what happens next!

Once Gram-Gram and Shabadoo appear at Planet Express and reunite with Farnsworth, he quickly expresses his hate for them for what they did to his childhood. And, in what I can only assume is Comedy Central's need to meet the required man-ass quota for a basic cable channel, a naked Farnsworth regales Leela and Amy with the story of how his parents ignored his interest in science, held him back from MIT, and moved the family to a country farm because "city life was filling [his] head with an unhealthy respect for higher education". This caused Farnsworth to go crazy, run away, and never speak to his parents again… until now, that is. But now that they're back in his life, Farnsworth is losing it again, leading to him running through the streets of New New York while naked. (Says Bender, "That is one crazy, uncircumcised old man!")

As it turns out, Farnsworth ended running off to the old family farm in Queens, sobbing inside his bed (complete with Transformers bedsheets… well, sort of). As it turns out, Farnsworth was "a crazy-ass nut job" in his younger years, and his parents read from his favorite book - The Handbook of Chemistry and Physics - to calm him down. (Hearing guest voice Estelle Harris - best known from Everybody Loves Raymond and as Mrs. Potato Head in the Toy Story sequels - reading the periodic table during this scene is a weird pleasure in and of itself.) This ultimately led to his parents putting him in a mental institution, partially on account of the toll he took on their free time. (Also of note in this sequence: Farnsworth discovers he has a younger brother named Floyd, who's currently a homeless rodeo clown. We don't get to meet him in this episode, though… perhaps next season?)

The emotional core of the episode - the complicated relationship between the Professor and his 'rents - isn't as fully-formed as I would've hoped - it doesn't reach the pinnacles of the show's tearjerker episodes, that's for sure - but the final scene, in which the Professor recreates the old farm days of his childhood for his parents to spend their virtual-reality retirement in - is sweet and touching enough to leave the episode on a good note. I also liked many of the moments between Fry, Gram-Gram and Shabadoo, such as Fry's holophonor recital and Fry's excitement in showing off a fork that's stuck in his lung. (Yes, it's as bizarre as it sounds.) All in all, it's an amusing enough episode to help pass the time. Now, let's all go take a nap!

Random notes:

• "Ooh, hefty! You could really bash a skull in with this thing!"
• "Let's boldly go where we've gone before!"
• Quickie Pop Culture Reference of the Night: the "Thus Spake Zarathustra" doorbell!
• For translation's sake, "Trop Vieux Manor" translates to "Very Old Manor". "The more you know!"
• Squeakers!!!
• FYI, there are only three episodes left this season. The 11th, "Viva Mars Vegas", will air next Wednesday at its regular time. The season's final two episodes, "31st Century Fox" (guest-starring Patrick Stewart!) and "Naturama", will air back-to-back on Wednesday, August 29th. Hopefully, Comedy Central's penchant for double-episode weeks this summer doesn't mean that they're simply trying to burn off episodes as quickly as possible… I'm not ready for this show to be cancelled again! :-(

Breaking Bad, Episode 5.05: "Dead Freight"

If you're reading this review, you've no doubt watched every episode of the show so far, right? (Sheesh, I would hope so… otherwise, get the bleep out!) So, right now, I ask you to think about the most memorable moments of Breaking Bad up to this point. Most likely, they fall into one of two categories. On one side, you have the edge-of-your-seat moments of tension and suspense that tighten the screws for minute upon minute. Episode 3's basement face-off between Walt and Krazy 8, where a broken plate changes everything. Hank stumbling across the meth lab RV… with Walt, Jesse and the equipment all inside, ready and waiting to be discovered. Jesse's visit to a methhead couple's house, culminating in a most unusual use of an ATM machine. The twins' visit to Walt's house very early in Season 3… and probably the most grueling moment in the series, Hank's parking-lot face-off against the twins in Season 3's "One Minute". And then, there's the "Holy shit!" moments… and uff-dah, there's been a crap-ton of those thus far. Episode 2's bathtub body disintegration gone horribly wrong (which, in all honesty, was the moment that I fell in love with this series). Walt throwing the exploding "meth" in Tuco's office. Danny Trejo's decapitated head atop of an exploding turtle. Walt running over a couple of drug dealer with his Aztec in the penultimate episode of Season 3. And last, and certainly not least, he nursing-home explosion in last season's finale… 'nuff said. I mention all of these scenes because the final 13 minutes of tonight's episode, "Dead Freight" delivered both of those kinds of moments, in a completely grueling - yet absolutely enthralling - sequence. In a nutshell, it's the type of stuff that cements Breaking Bad as one of the best shows on television right now… if not the best. But we'll get to that scene later on in this review… just hold tight. :-)

(Before we get started, I've gotta ask: By any chance, did AMC ask Vince Gilligan, "Hey, so we're going to premiere Hell on Wheels during the middle of your season! Could you cook up a Western-ish episode of Breaking Bad for us? kthanxbye!" And not just any kind of episode, but one that includes a train and a railroad. Synergy, right? But, it ultimately doesn't matter, because the train heist featured in tonight's show integrates so perfectly with the overall storylines of the season that it couldn't have been forced. At least, I'd like to think so… please don't prove me wrong!)

Let's talk about the cold open first, where we meet the ultimately doomed dirt-biking boy, zooming around through the New Mexico landscape and scooping up a tarantula. Now, the cold open would seem like a throwaway scene at first… but again, remember that we've only got eight episodes this season, and that every moment in this season has to count as a result (as I've discussed before in this space). And so, I couldn't help but start piecing things together, especially on account of the tail-end sound of the train in the background. Now, I figured pretty early on that the kid would see something about the train heist, and that it would cause a slow unraveling of the situation. But I certainly didn't expect the kid to be standing right next to Walt, Jesse, and Todd under the bridge. And I certainly didn't expect what happened at the very, very end. But again, we'll get to that.

Chronologically, the episode's first scene is a simple one: Walt visits Hank's office, where we get to see Hank's new ASAC digs. Now, from the moment Walt appears at Hank's door, you (and I) immediately start thinking, "What's Walt's angle here?" Perhaps Walt is trying to "hide in plain sight", as Gus did before him. As the scene plays out, though, Walt starts talking about his and Skyler's relationship, certainly trying to feed on the aftermath of Skyler's weird behavior in the pool in last week's episode. The funny thing is, Walt's essentially telling Hank the truth - that Skyler thinks she's a bad influence and a bad father. (The only fib: that Skyler's seeing a therapist in Rio Rancho… Peter something-or-other.) And yet, since Hank is still oblivious to Walt's actual nature, he essentially serves as a shoulder for Walt to fake-cry on. And so, Walt breaks down in tears, and Hank goes off to grab him a coffee...

…and then, only then, do we see Walt's true intentions: he's trying to bug Hank's office, hiding a mike inside a picture frame of Hank and Marie. (Side note: Don't you think that Walt's clutching onto the picture will be some sort of undoing later on, should Hank figure things out?) Even better, there's a very specific purpose for the bug, at least initially: to figure out what the real deal is behind Lydia's discovery last week of the GPS device on the barrel of methylamine. Just as he was last week, Mike has an itchy trigger finger, and he's ready and willing to take Lydia out if necessary… and Lydia's bursting-at-the-seams nervousness doesn't help matters at all. But, Jesse's talking-down of Mike from last week surprisingly pays off, as we learn during a wire-tapped call between Hank and the Houston DEA office that the DEA planted the device, not Lydia… much to her relief. But there's a catch: the DEA tagged every barrel in the warehouse, essentially killing Walt's supply source.

So, what now? Well, leave it to Lydia to devise the solution: to tap into a veritable ocean of methylamine! Well, actually, we're not going to get to the ocean, mind you… but she offers up a train car full of the stuff, which just so happens to swing through New Mexico en route to Houston. Her suggestion: to rob the train. But, Mike isn't too keen on the idea, and if they do decide to do it, they'll need to off the crewmen: "I have done this long enough to know that there are two kinds of heists: Those where the guys get away with it, and those that leave witnesses."

The long unbroken shot of Walt and Mike fighting it out once again, while Jesse devises the plan, is a wonderfully executed moment. Again, Walt and Mike debate on the financials of the operation, with Walt throwing the payoff of Mike's guys right back in his face… but then Jesse comes through, once again asserting his role as the unsung genius of this season: "What if we could rip off that train, and no one ever knows it got robbed?" The next scene, following the commercial break, shows Walt on the train tracks, giving his response: "Maybe. Just maybe." What follows is a sumptuously photographed sequence in the New Mexico landscape, full of the magical, picturesque moments this show delivers.

The plan is ingenious, and I especially appreciated the script's detailed breakdown of the plan: from the explanation of the methylamine/water replacement plan (especially with regards to methylamine's slightly lesser weight than water), and the hope that the dilution of the methylamine will be blamed on China. (Yay!) It's a pretty fool-proof plan… which made me want to think that something will unravel it further down the road. (Cutting to the chase, do we know if the exact amount of water made its way into the train car during the heist?)

But before we get to the heist, we should discuss the current housing situation, as Hank and Marie are talking care of Walt Jr. and Holly. (Hank's attempt to get Holly to say "ASAC Schrader" and "boss man" as her first words was adorable, wasn't it?) But Walt Jr. isn't responding well to the move, and is upset at his parents for not giving him a reasonable explanation for all of this. After Walt kicks Walt Jr. out of his house to go back to Hank's, Skyler holds her own and states that the kids can't be part of this environment… and that Skyler will do whatever is necessary to assist Walt's operation as long as the kids aren't in the house.

The entire final act of the episode is dedicated to the train heist, beginning with Lydia receiving the train manifest and passing the info along to Mike. From there, we cut to the train tracks, with Mike working surveillance, Walt, Jesse and Todd (a.k.a. Landry) hiding under the bridge, and special guest Bill Burr - once again helping out in Walt's wacky plans - posing as a dump truck driver whose ride has managed to break down right on the train tracks! Convenient, eh? And so, Burr manages to get the train to stop… and that's where the magic starts happening. From the moment that Walt says, "Go!", I was appropriately on the edge of my seat, watching this heist play out. From Bill Burr's clearly blatant stalling, to the convenient Meth Meter gallon ticker, all the pieces are in place to maximize the tension… and boy, do they!

And then we get a complication: a visit from a Good Samaritan with a huge honkin' pick-up, willing to push Bill Burr's truck out of the way. It's an unwelcome visit, yes, and it screws up the plan… but what further complicates the situation is Walt. Again, he's not one who's willing to compromise, and he's darn well going to make sure that he gets his full 1,000 gallons of methylamine. Since we know Walt's attitude, it helps justify the intensity of the situation… and I, for one, am glad of it. The hair-raising nature of how close our crew comes to unraveling the heist - with Jesse unscrewing the methylamine hose right before the train takes off, and Todd hopping off the train just in the nick of time - is absolutely insane, and it certainly made for an incredible moment of relief when our guys shout in celebration, basking in a successful heist. I was cheering along with them, and I would've hoped that you were, too… that's how well-done this scene is, in that you're invested with these characters, even when they're pulling off such ridiculous criminal activities. (Now that I think about it, this is a far cry from Walt and Jesse wheeling off with a barrel of methylamine at the end of Season 1, eh?)

But, in the midst of all this celebration is one unexpected surprise: the kid from the cold opening. It's a credit to the excitement of the scene that preceded it that his appearance, as much as we should've seen it coming, should've come as a surprise. And for a moment there, we're not sure how this situation is going to play off, as the kid waves "Hi", and Todd gently waves back. But notice, if you will, how Todd's instant transformation from warm, waving stranger to cold-blooded murderer occurs within a single camera shot… within mere seconds! It's a disarming moment, yes, but it's made even more disarming by the way that it was filmed and acted. As brutal as that scene is, Todd was simply following Mike's advice about how heists turn out… and he's darn well going to make sure that this is  successful job.

Now, certainly, this is a jaw-dropping moment, and one that viewers may not respond well to. Remember how uneasy you felt about Walt poisoning Brock last year? I'm sure you were very uncomfortable with that season-ending revelation… and this particular situation only makes things worse. You'll notice that we only saw Jesse's reaction to the kid's death at the end of this episode… but we didn't see Walt's, and that will be interesting to gauge as we head into next week. Tonight, Todd just did what Walt was very, very careful to avoid last season… but could Walt succumb to those depths, or even plummet below them? With three episodes to go this year, I think there's a very good chance that Walt will do just that, and become virtually irredeemable. If anything, tonight's episode demonstrates that Breaking Bad still has the power to amaze and shock in grand fashion, and that it's willing to go to some very dark places in order to wrap up its story.

Random notes:

• As soon as Todd shot the child, one of my very first thoughts was, "LANDRY KILLS AGAIN!!!" A little nod for all of your Friday Night Lights season 2 fans. ;-)
• I guess Walt's going with a "treat yourself" cover story for the watch he received from Jesse as a birthday gift. Way to flaunt that gambling money! *wink,wink*
• Mike's conversation with Lydia about the phone-call script was awesome: If she screws up, "I am going to pull out my pistol and shoot you in the head." Even better was Mike's follow-up to Lydia's recitation of his rules: "It's a pistol, not a gun. I'm expecting precision here."
• "Everyone sounds like Meryl Streep with a gun to her head."
• Walt and Lydia managed to connect during this episode, as they both diss Mike for his need to pay off his guys from the old operation.
• "This better be something from a boob!"
• Hey, Hank picked up Heat on Blu-ray! But, in Walt Jr.'s mind, I guess it's no Scarface!
• Quote of the night, from Jesse: "It's all about the weight, yo!"
• Next week: The aftermath. See you then!

True Blood, Episode 5.10: "Gone, Gone, Gone"

This week's episode of True Blood just seemed to fly by: partially because there was only about 46 minutes of actual episode (a scarce amount by series standards), and also because the episode just seemed to, well… stop. If anything, this seemed to be a setup episode for the final two hours, getting our characters into place for all the big stuff that's about to go down.

First, let's talk about tonight's smorgasbord of gore! Thanks to the current vampire anarchy, and the complete destruction of the 5 Tru Blood plants, so many on-screen deaths occurred tonight, I couldn't believe my eyes. First, there was Sookie's attack by Mike the coroner, who apparently had been turned since last we saw him. Sookie's chopstick-assisted staking was awesome beyond words, and a great way to kick off the episode! Then, we got to witness a gold ol' iStaking, as Authority tech-head Molly met her demise by the technology she developed. Then came Spirit Lilith's neck-ripping of Spirit Godric (in a rare, only-on-HBO display of graphic gore and graphic full-frontal female nudity). That was followed by Russell and Steve's romantic massacre of a local fraternity. And last, but not least, was Tara's epic beheading of the new Sheriff, who was offed just as soon as he was introduced. On behalf of True Blood fans, I'd like to say thanks for working to trim down your cast in such spectacularly bloody fashion! It's much appreciated!

And also, given the brevity of tonight's show, it speaks that a full six minutes were devoted to a single scene: Jessica's farewell glamouring of Hoyt. Rarely does the show gun for our emotions, but it was a gamble that paid off spectacularly, as both characters' pain just gushed out: first, Hoyt's desire to move to Alaska without the memories of Jessica and Jason gnawing away at him, and then Jessica's teary-eyed clearing of his mind. After the glamouring, that first shot of the "new" Hoyt was just so wonderful - such a perfect bit of physical acting there. Jason's follow-up pullover of Hoyt later on in the episode was fine, too, but it couldn't hold a candle to the Merlotte's sequence, which was the highlight of tonight's show. (Question: So, will Hoyt be really gone? It would be wonderful to see a 'new' Hoyt connect with Jessica… but I can only hope that's the case. If this is another example of cast housecleaning, at least it was a heck of an exit.)

The Authority stuff was very much in the 'setup' vein tonight, both in getting characters in place (Jessica, Sam and Luna are all underground by episode's end), by firmly establishing the evangelical approach of the Authority in spreading the message of Lilith (70 translations of The Book of Lilith are in progress!), and by having Eric "profess" his "allegiance" to Lilith in the wake of Godric's ghostly demise. But, I do like the angle of Russell becoming frustrated with the Authority's approach, to the extent that he will no longer be restrained by their ways, and will acquire as much fairy blood as necessary in order to walk in the sun. Having Russell as a loose cannon is always a good thing, and that's exactly the kind of energy that these final two episodes need.

Meanwhile, we got some resumption on Sookie and Jason's investigation into their parents' death by Warlow… and thanks to a newly-discovered scroll hidden in the floorboards of Sookie's house (as well as a Magic Fairie Decoder Ring Of Sorts), we learned that Warlow is due the Stackhouses' first fae-bearing female heir… which, it just so happens, is Sookie! Umm… okay… Sookie's in danger once again. Woot woot… so let's just hurry up and wrap this plot line up quickly, alright?

Just to iterate what I said before: I want to believe that tonight's show was simply a way to move things into place in order to make the final two episodes a slam-bang ride. Tonight's episode was fine in that regard: it kept moving at a furious pace, rarely lagged, and had a bevy of enjoyable moments… but it felt less like an episode and more like a chapter in the season… which, as a fan of serialized drama narratives, I'm perfectly fine with. Hopefully, the rest of this season will just rock my socks off… and I hope yours will be similarly rocked.

Random notes:

• Sookie just loves her Vizio HDTV!
• When a vampire disses Blockbuster Video, you know that's not a good sign.
• Lafayette pointing a shotgun at a random yokel, who's holding a gun at Sam, who's holding a gun at another local yokel… come on, HBO, don't deny us the awesome standoff we would've loved to see!
• Andy Quote of the Week, to Lafayette: "I don't say this to many men, but I love you."
• So, umm, Russell and Rev. Steve slow-dancing to "Teenage Dream" amidst a pile of fraternity brothers' bodies? That's True Blood's idea of romance, I tell you what.
• Reverend Steve's denunciation of a "shadow government in an underground complex" was much appreciated. I feel quite safer now.
• "Daddy doesn't like it when you're human!"
• "Can I get a waitress?"

Futurama, Episode 7.09: "Free Will Hunting"

This week's episode of Futurama has Bender coping with the discovery that he lacks free will.

For example, I really enjoyed the episode's opening, if only because it pushes Futurama's rapid-fire pacing to comedic extremes. Consider this: in the span of just a few minutes, as the result of wearing his nerd glasses in public, Bender is invited by a college robot to a sorority party, enrolls in college, strikes a deal with the Robot Mafia to cover his tuition costs, attends class, joins a gang, incurs the wrath of the Dean (even though class has only been in session for 32 seconds!), drops out of college, gets his gang tattoo, is shot at by a rival gang, disposes of one of his fellow gang members, prostitutes himself for the Hedonismbot to pay for robot drugs, is beaten up by the Robot Mafia when they come collecting for a loan payment, and winds up in a hospital bed. Whew! Bender credits all this to one bad decision, and attempts to make better choices from here on out… which is immediately followed by Bender attacking Girl Scouts with a broken glass bottle. In jail for the attack, Bender's lawyer plops down the ultimate defense: since Bender is pre-programmed to perform criminal tasks, he has no free will to control said activities. Thus, Bender secures a 'not guilty' verdict… as well as a bout of depression.

This leads to a somewhat draggy second act, as Bender mopes around the Robot Home World looking for purpose in his life. In case it isn't already obvious, Bender isn't exactly fun when he's doing non-Bender things, and having Bender join a monastery doesn't provide much against-type humor… although it does feature some elaborate animation and the reappearance of Bender's rust beard. But, the episode picks up for the third act, as Bender finds out that he has a slot for a free will unit, and attempts to break into MomCorp in order to find the free will device… only to realize that Professor Farnsworth invented the device, and has hidden it all these years in order to prevent a robot uprising.  The comedic interplay between Bender and Professor Farnsworth in the final act is fun, especially Bender's attempts to shoot the Professor once the free will unit is inserted into his head. Once Bender does shoot him (the safety was on!), we get the type of happy ending that only Futurama could provide: Bender is found guilty in court for shooting the Professor, invoking cheers from the Planet Express crew and (for whatever reason) a balloon drop!


Even with a script written by Futurama head honcho David X. Cohen, the episode feels a bit unfinished, story-wise, as if it needed a few revisions in order to be truly top-notch. That's not to discredit the episode's ambition, though, which is a perfect opportunity of the ideas that a science-fiction animated comedy can tackle. But the episode is not a complete loss… in fact, I'd be hard-pressed to find any episode of Futurama that was a total dud. I just wonder if this episode could've been better, should the Futurama staff had the larger budget and resources of the Fox network years.


Random notes:

• I sort of wish that a 1980s college comedy actually had a character named Dean Suspendington.
• The tattoo artist at the parlor had an upside-down Epson tattoo… appropriate for the Inkjets gang, no?
• "Bits to live by!"
• Mom sure enjoys her swiveling chair… apparently, the cultural impact of The Voice will last well into the 31st center. ;-)
• "Thanks to you, I went on a soul-searching journey. I hate those!"
• The Bender toy, with the free will unit inserted: "Kill all humans!"

Breaking Bad, Episode 5.04: "Fifty-One"

Welcome to our belated coverage of Walter White's 51st birthday, which was delayed in part because I was out celebrating my own birthday earlier this week. (Hey, a man's gotta live it up!) In a sense, I'm kind of glad that I've had the extra time to contemplate this week's episode, because I can't help but feel that it was the least of the season's episodes thus far.  Now, there were certainly a lot of great individual elements that I enjoyed in this week's episode, which I'll discuss in a moment... but in terms of sheer plot momentum, there wasn't much on display here, save for the "signpost" aspect of Walt's birthday and the fact that we now only have 12 episodes with which to cover one year of story, leading up to the season-opening flashback from "Live Free or Die".

The cold open kicks off the episode's unofficial string of callbacks by Walt Sr. and Jr. pick up the infamous Pontiac Aztek, which has been repaired following Walt's late-in-season-4 crash to avoid bringing Hank to the laundromat. (My favorite comment by the mechanic: "Didn't have to replace the windshield this time!") Inside the Aztec is the legendary Heisenberg hat, which triggers Walt to sell the Aztec to the mechanic for a whopping $50. After donning the hat once again, Walt drives home with a newly leased Chrysler... and doubles down by leasing Walt Jr. a Dodge Challenger just like the one he bought (and subsequently blew up) last season. But, just as she acted in response to the Challenger purchase last season, Skyler isn't responding very nicely to these new leases... if only because of The Story.

You recall The Story, don't you? The elaborate backstory that Walt and (primarily) Skyler concocted to explain Walt's influx of cash as a result of an insane gambling addiction? Now, Walt does his darndest to justify it against The Story by noting that they are, in fact leases: the Chrysler as a birthday present, and Walt Jr.'s Challenger on account of "me being a softie!") But then, Walt plops down $20,000 on the bathroom sink, indicating that he's back making meth. His rationale? "We have to make up that $600,000 we lost!" - the $600,000 that, you'll recall, Skyler gave to Ted to help him escape his financial troubles.  And suddenly, Skyler's moral conscience - which you'd think would've all but disappeared on account of Skyler's financial backing of Ted, not to mention her role in the car wash cover business - returns with a vengeance, as she starts talking about shipping Walt Jr. off to boarding school in Arizona, even though he's only one year away from graduating high school. "A new environment might be good for them," she says, but Walt asks, "What's wrong with our environment?"

Skyler's discomfort with Walt has been steadily building over the course of the first four episodes, from Walt's semi-threatening bedside talks to the awkward family viewing of Scarface. But, it all comes to a head on Walt's 51st birthday, beginning with Skyler's reluctance to write out Walt's age in bacon - just as she did in the show's very first episode, and which Walt is left to do himself in the season premiere's flash-forward. But, nothing prepares Walt - or Hank or Marie, for that matter - for Skyler's dip into the family pool during Walt's birthday party.  The pool scene, evocatively directed by Rian Johnson, best known for Brick and the upcoming time-travel extravaganza Looper, stages Skyler slowly descending in the background as the camera pushes in on Walt, who waxes poetic about how far he's come in the past year, in a speech that could easily serve as both a reflection of his criminal life and his fight against cancer: "There were times when I was sure I was done for... but then someone, or something, would come through for me." From the piecing luminescence of the pool water, to the entranced look on Skyler's face as she wades her way across the pool, it's a wonderfully sustained moment of unease that serves as the highlight of the episode.

It leads to a bedroom confrontation between Walt and Skyler, who's not convinced that Walt's rebuilt operation won't bring harm to the family: sure, Walt assures Skyler that Gus was the danger, but Skyler throws Walt's "I am the danger!" line from last season back in his face. Skyler still has guilt from what happened to Ted, and even though she's in this mess for the long haul, she doesn't want the kids to be harmed as a result - and is seemingly willing to go the extra mile to ensure that her children are removed from the White home. It's this control for Walt Jr. and the baby that leads to a disturbing face-off between husband and wife: Walt counters Skyler's self-inflicted bruises by saying that he'll have her committed in order to gain custody of the kids… which prompts Skyler to act as if the bruises were inflicted by Walt when he learned of her affair with Ted.  But as much as Walt tries to poke holes in all of Skyler's plans, and as much as Skyler admits that she's no match for Walt's masterful mind, she lays down the trump card: "All I can do is wait… hold on, bide my time, and wait… for the cancer to come back." (The point is iterated in the episode's final scene, which focuses on the tick-tick-tick of Walt's new watch.)

Meanwhile, we got to view the Continuing Adventures of Lydia, the panicky Madrigal employee from the episode of the same name. This week, we meet Lydia in her Houston office, where she's still barely keeping it together... as made evident by the mismatched shoes she wore to work (and the screaming-into-the-pillow moment). But suddenly, Lydia gets a heads-up call from Mike, indicating that she's 30 seconds away from having some visitors: Hank and Gomez. We then head to the Madrigal warehouse, where the purpose of the DEA's visit becomes clear: to arrest one of the warehouse employees... in fact, the very employee who's been responsible for the methylamine barrels.  Enter Jesse, who makes the long drive from Albuquerque to Houston to pick up a barrel himself... but Lydia just so happens to find a nice surprise under the barrel: a Garmin GPS device. Mike, however, finds the planting of the device quite sloppy - certainly nothing that the DEA would do - and immediately pinpoints Lydia as the likely culprit, saying "Okay, she's dead!" Jesse bargains for her life, ultimately calling on Walt to make the deciding vote. His response - that the meth keeps flowing, no matter what - is presented in another  wonderful and intense shot, the camera slowly pushing in as Walt holds the Heisenberg hat in his hands.

As a viewer, I'm somewhat inclined to side with Mike with regards to Lydia: given the generous pass Mike gave Lydia in the final act of "Madrigal", the GPS act isn't exactly what I'd consider a "thank you".  But even more than that, I'm a little concerned as to how long the show will be able to reasonably involve Lydia in full-on panic mode before things go horribly wrong. More likely than not, something major will come to pass within the final four episodes of this season... the question at this point is, "How soon?"

But, ultimately that plot progression is secondary in "Fifty-One" to the new character dynamics between Walt and Skyler. It's certainly uncomfortable, and it's significant evidence in how insufferable Walt has become this season… something that will no doubt grow as we head into the last four episodes of this summer. (That's right, folks, we're already halfway through the 2012 season! Say whaaaaaaaaa?) Given the enemies he's making this year - and the enemies he's crafted in his mind - we're certainly headed in a position to get Walt to the solitary state that we find him in when he turns 52.

Random notes:

• This weekend, I checked out Bryan Cranston's latest movie, the Total Recall remake, and I was very disappointed. Specifically with regards to Cranston's performance as Cohaagen, I kept waiting for Cranston to make the character as villainous as Walt, but he never gets to that level, which was underwhelming. And as for Cranston's horrible wig? The less said, the better.
• Jesse giving Walt the watch for his birthday was a nice moment: it's probably as sentimental as this show wants to get. :-)
• So what does Hank's promotion mean for the DEA's Gus Fring case? Certainly, the look on Hank's face as he heard about the offer was one of uncertainty... and we all know that Hank would've loved to shut this case down, even though he was stuck at the moment.  My guess is that this is likely a temporary slowdown in the investigation, in order to stretch out these final batches of episodes.
• Next week: Time for a heist!

True Blood, Episode 5.09: "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"

Over the course of the past five years, the vast majority of True Blood's episodes have ended in absolutely bonkers cliffhangers... and virtually all of those cliffhangers have been resolved in the first 60 seconds of next week's episode. Now, granted, this approach isn't necessarily limited to True Blood - it's a cornerstone of many serialized shows.  But, rare is the cliffhanger that actually sticks to its guns and alters the course of the series (at least, for the next few episodes). With that in mind, you'll recall how last week's episode ended: with an unfathomably evil Bill Compton proposing that the Authority burns down the world's Tru Blood factories. It's the kind of grand-scale vampire anarchy that could make the show entertaining again... but would the show actually go through with it? I was skeptical, sure, but imagine my shock when the very first shot of this episode showed a Houston Tru Blood factory in flames. YES! THEY FRIGGIN' DID IT!

Most of the fallout from this move takes place in the Fangtasia portion of the episode, where Tara uses her newly-acquired vampire strength to stockpile boxes of Tru Blood. Pam's darn well going to make sure that she and Tara keep serving Tru Blood to its customers, in the hopes of preventing their clientele from drinking humans. And when the fake blood runs out? Well, Pam advises the private, discreet feeding of humans, to delay the chaos from spilling out into the real world, as the Authority wishes. But, Oprah and Gayle - I mean, Pam and Tara - are no match for an unexpected visitor: the supposed new Sheriff, who calls upon the bar's vampires to start feeding in public.  Now, it's a bit abrupt to introduce a new low-level antagonist at the end of the season's fourth-to-last episode... but certainly Pam and Tara will give him quite a fight in the weeks to come.

Meanwhile, Eric continues to be our vampire of reason this season, as he confronts Bill about his diabolical plan. Bill doesn't fold, natch; he still appears to be convinced of Lilith's power following her appearance in the New Orleans feeding party. And so, when Eric reveals his plan to get Salome and Nora's blood in order to escape the Authority complex, it backfires tremendously: at episode's end, with the help of Authority techhead Molly, Eric zonks out Nora... but in comes Bill, who spilled the beans to Salome... and who ushers in a crap-ton of armed soldiers. Whoops! Hopefully, Bill's seeming defection will have one heck of a payoff in the next three episodes; while it's creating some interesting dynamics between Bill and Eric, this is the sort of personality change that can't be sustained for too long.

Speaking of sustaining, this week's episode is notable for the resolution of not one, but TWO subplots for this season. And overall, even though I appreciate the show's effort to clean up its over-crammed plate, the way in which it resolved these plots wasn't really that great.  For example, in last week's episode, it was already obvious that Patrick would be the one to die... which kind of diffused the tension in this week's hostage-situation-slash-faceoff in Merlotte's.  And no doubt that Terry will be even more messed up in the future, now that he's got the weight of Patrick's death on his hands.  But in the end, this was a trifle of a story that didn't really have too much of an impact on the season's master plot.

And as for the resolution of the Masked Obamas plot, it just seemed really, really abrupt... as if the True Blood writing staff realized, "Crap, we've gotta get this wrapped up ASAP!" So, they've invoked the sudden return of former Sheriff Bud Dearborne, who, with his wife Sweetie, has apparently masterminded all these attacks. Now, I don't mind seeing former True Blood characters back in action, but if this was the plan all along, I wish there had been a bit more of a legitimate build-up to it.  But, in any case, the climactic face-off in the hog farm was worth it just for Sam's reveal as one of the pigs, leading to a hilariously awkward naked fight scene between Sam and the bigots. (Speaking of which: I've gotta wonder how the heck Sam and Luna can turn into flies, of all things. Let me guess: next week, Sam becomes a phone book!)

Speaking of shape-shifters, Robert Patrick joined the show this week! Yes, the T-1000 showed up in flashback form this week as Alcide's father, to help liven up the otherwise boring werewolf portions of the episode.  We got to see Patrick welcome young Alcide and young Debbie into their first werewolf pack... and we even got a present-day father-son meeting at the end of the episode, as Alcide informs his daddy that he got booted out of the pack. Hopefully, we'll see more of Robert Patrick the next few weeks; if True Blood wastes him like they did Gary Cole in the fourth-season premiere, I will be furious!

At this point, we've got three hours left, and a fair amount of ground to cover... and yet, this week's episode has hinted that the season is actively working towards its endgame. Hopefully, next week will keep the momentum going... if so, this season might be able to salvage itself just yet.

Random notes:

• "I ain't Gmail for dead bitches!"
• This week in "Yes, that's a real site": HBO has put up a real www.keepamericahuman.com Web page, complete with the videos shown in the episode.
• It's rare that I make it almost all the way through an episode review without addressing Russell, and to be honest, there wasn't much to talk about this week. But I'd sure like to see a cute, yet bizarre family sitcom made up of Russell, Reverend Steve, and li'l werewolf Emma.
• Next week: "Bill launches a public relations campaign about the rise in vampire violence." That's, umm, exciting. Let's hope it plays a lot better than it reads. :-)

Futurama, Episode 7.08: "Fun on a Bun"

Futurama is somewhat unique in the current animated TV landscape, in that it occasionally tries to aim for emotional payoffs.  (It's an avenue that really hasn't been touched, outside of the early seasons of Matt Groening's other series, The Simpsons.)  My go-to example (and most likely, yours as well) is the ending of "Jurassic Bark", a.k.a. the episode with Fry's dog, which is probably one of the bigger gut-punches in recent television memory. Others may talk about the ending of "The Luck of the Fryrish", the episode with Fry's brother and the lucky seven-leaf clover. But also of note is the way the show treats the Fry-Leela relationship with a sense of tenderness and sweetness.  It's not coincidental that the final episode of Futurama's original run, "The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings", ended with a promising look at Fry and Leela's future. One of the first Comedy Central episodes, "The Late Philip J. Fry", memorably wrapped a Fry/Leela date inside of a fun time-travel plot, with unexpectedly touching results. And just a few weeks ago, when I reviewed "Zapp Dingbat", I forgot to mention the fleeting moment where Leela says to Fry, "You're getting there", when he mentions being potential marriage material.  This week's episode has a potentially classic Fry/Leela moment, wrapped around a twisty episode that ends in Neanderthals attacking Oktoberfest.

We start with the Planet Express group attending Oktoberfest, which, in the 31st century, has apparently become a classy and cultured festival... much to the disappointment of Fry, who just want to get drunk and perform the chicken dance.  Using beer spittoons, Fry does manager to get buzzed... to the extreme disapproval of Leela. Even Bender refuses to party... because he's suddenly decided to join the festival's sausage-making competition.  But, in order for Bender to win, he'll need to have an exotic specialty in order to compete with Elzar's 3000-year-old pork and other rarities. So, with help from a drunken Fry, Bender decides to unearth a wooly mammoth that's been trapped under ice in Germany for 30,000 years, and stashes the creature in a meat grinder.  All is well, and Bender appears to have the contest in his hand... until Leela finds some odd ingredients in her sausage: pieces of Fry's hair, jacket, and T-shirt. Mmmmmm.... unintentional cannibalism!

From there, the episode diverges into two threads. First, there's the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind-esque riff, in which a guilt-filled Leela has all of her memories of Fry removed.  Surprisingly, Leela's part of the episode veers into sitcom-level humor, as her co-workers strive not to invoke any memories of Fry... which is pretty hard, considering that Planet Express' next job is a shipment of French fries that occurs every Friday.  (The sight gag of the failed escape pod trip had me laughing my butt off.)  Forgetting memories is an idea that could've been milked much more thoroughly than it is here... unfortunately, there's simply too much going on in this episode to allow Leela's plot to get enough focus.

Then, there's the real fate of Fry, in which he's frozen naked in ice and discovered by a community of Neanderthals living under a sky layer of ice. In a fun touch, Fry hits his forehead before being frozen, causing a bump that makes him look like a homo erectus... also allowing Fry to temporarily forget his memories. Fry's side of this week's episode is fun, because (1) Fry logically fits in as a fake Neanderthal, and (2) it allows for some amusing visual gags involving mammoths, giant sloths, sabretooth cats, and the like. It leads to Fry leading the Neanderthals to Oktoberfest via the ice hole that Fry and Bender created, in an attempt to reclaim what is rightfully theirs.

The ensuing battle is nothing short of bizarre and hilarious, with sausage judge Zapp Brannigan attacked by a catapulted sabretooth cat, wooly mammoths shooting beer at tanks, and Hermes being threatened by a giant sloth. Also worth mentioning: Bender's continuous attempt to get first place in the competition by having his competition killed. (Hey, it isn't easy trying to be the Abe Froman of Oktoberfest!)  But then comes the payoff of Fry and Leela fighting each other atop the Planet Express ship, without either recognizing the other at first... until Fry and Leela see each other's hair:

Leela: "Orange?"
Fry: "Purple?"

It's the type of delicate moment that Futurama can pull off when the story calls for it... and to be honest, these moments are best used sparingly so as to maximize their impact.  And so, their kiss reconnects Leela's memories and ushers the blood away from Fry's swollen head, returning things to normal.  And fortunately, the peaceful resolution of the battle leads to a good old-fashioned Oktobestfest for all involved... invoking another sweet scene where Leela wants to do the chicken dance with Fry. But Fry replies, "Just this once, I'm gonna let you embarrass me!" It's a touching capper to an episode that's too jam-packed for its own good.

Random notes:

• Fry is a loyal reader of Unfrozen Dude magazine.
• Be sure not to offend Countess Von Luftballon!
• During the shot of Fry's clothes being pulled into the meat grinder, his hair inexplicably turns black for a single frame. See if you can find it!
• Fry: "Kill all modern humans!" Bender: "Hey, this guy's alright!"
• "In recognition of your overwhelming victory... let's call it a draw!"
• Bender serving Zapp the ginormous rack of ribs was a nice node to The Flintstones... I hope.
• This week, the Futurama: Volume Seven DVD and Blu-ray release was moved up from December 18th to December 11th. Hooray!
• Next week: Bender searches for the meaning of life. Sheesh, and I thought this week was ambitious enough! ;-)