Black Dynamite, Episode 1.02: "Bullhorn Nights" (or "Murder, She Throats")

In my review of last week's premiere, I couldn't help but express my disappointment in how the episode shoved Black Dynamite aside in favor of Cream Corn.  Well, here we go again, in a Bullhorn-heavy episode that manages to do even less with Black Dynamite... much to my chagrin.


The episode's setup: black porn star Ringo Mandingo (and his own mandingo, covered up by comically large black censor bars) have been sliced and diced by a chainsaw, shortly before production was about to begin on the first black-on-white porn, Willy Wanker and the Chocolate F**ktory. Before you know it, Black Dynamite and the team are on the case, and proceed to the set of many of Mandingo's films.  Before you know it, Bullhorn and his eloquent rhymes catch the attention of a Jack Horner-esque producer, and he becomes a porn star in his own right: "Sweet Throat".  Meanwhile, black porn stars continue to be bumped off, leaving only Bullhorn and "Isaac Layes"... and Layes soon meets his demise by way of grenade after being picked for Willy Wanker.  (His priceless death line: "My grave... can you dig it?")


As amusing as Bullhorn can be, he's the type of character that works best in small doses, as this episode quickly makes clear. (I can only handle so much rhyming, you know!) As such, we get inverse amounts of Bullhorn and BD than I'd prefer.  Even worse, the killer lines that we do get from BD are recycled from the original movie, such as "I thought I told you honkies from the adult-film industry that Black Dynamite don't hump on film no more!"  Although, I was quite surprised that this week's episode attempted to reprise one of the film's slow-burn gags: the chalkboard deconstruction at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles (or as this episode depicts it, "Roscoe's Grits 'n Jello")... leading to the episode's most bizarre revelation: that the wave of murders is the result of a bizarre partnership between the Black Panthers and the Ku Klux Klan (?!?!?) in order to prevent interracial porn from hitting the market.

The episode's last 7 minutes pick up considerably, starting with the Roscoe's sequence, and leading directly into a scene from Willy Wanker and the Chocolate F**ktory, as Bullhorn croons the XXX version of "Pure Imagination", accompanied by a crew of "Humpa-Lumpas".  I'll be honest: I'm a sucker for Willy Wonka parodies, given my love for that film, and the elaborate animation of this sequence certainly helps. (Sidebar: Is every modern animated TV series required to do a Willy Wonka parody? Remember "Wasted Talent" from the original run of Family Guy? Or "Fry and the Slurm Factory" from the first cycle of Futurama?)

But then, the parody comes to a halt, as BD confronts the KKK and the Panthers (or, the Black Pumas - Huey P. was "a hell of a revolutionary, and extremely litigious"), leading to a bunch of gory shotgun blasts and anime-stylized action, consistent with the show's animation style. And then, we leave the episode as our lead characters debate on what the episode's moral is.  For the record, I'll quote Black Dynamite's: "Sometimes having a giant johnson is just enough rope to hang yourself." Wise words, Black Dynamite... wise words, indeed. :-)  Still, a fine third act can't resolve a meandering first two-thirds of the episode. Hopefully, the show can get out of its rut soon: we've only got 8 episodes to go!

Random notes:

• Here's the link to this week's episode, courtesy of adultswim.com.  In addition, episodes re-air Saturday nights on [adult swim].
• Anachronism Alert: Would there seriously be a porn movie called Big Trouble in Little Vagina in the 1970s? Just remember what ol' Jack Burton would say: "No!" (Also disorienting: an out-of-place reference to Lionel Richie's "Hello".)
• Black Dynamite, after a particularly dramatic music cue: "Dang, with a sting like that, I know it's got to be some heavy shit!"
• I think I counted six or seven "Dy-no-mite! Dy-no-mite!" cues. Nice!

Next week: Eddie Griffin IS Richard Pryor, in the original first episode of the Black Dynamite animated series... and, fortunately, it's a Black Dynamite-centric episode to boot!

Black Dynamite, Episode 1.01: “Jackson Five Across Yo' Eyes” (or “Just Beat It”)

Over the past several years, 2009’s Black Dynamite – a loving send-up, and immaculate recreation, of 1970s blaxploitation films – has become a comedy near and dear to my heart.  This under-appreciated hidden gem stars actor/martial artist Michael Jai White – whom you may know best from the hellaciously awful feature film adaptation of Spawn, or the “pencil trick” scene of The Dark Knight – as Black Dynamite, a Vietnam vet/ ex-CIA agent/sex machine who seeks vengeance for the death of his brother Jimmy, while working to keep a new type of heroin from hitting the local orphanages. 

My first encounter with Black Dynamite was this creative fake trailer, which combined clips from actual 1970s blaxploitation films with newly-shot footage of Michael Jai White (the latter featuring a fair amount of dialogue from the final film):

Keep in mind that the above trailer was filmed prior to the film itself, as White and director Scott Sanders put it together as a proof-of-concept to sell investors on the movie… and oh, did it work: in late 2008, the actual film’s trailer was released, which astonished movie fans with its priceless recreation of 1970s filmmaking. Check it out below:

Black Dynamite went on to receive high praise from film festival audiences, culminating in Sony’s purchase of the film at Sundance for $2 million dollars.  Unfortunately, Sony botched the film’s theatrical release, limiting it to a 2-week run in 70 theaters nationwide, which took in less than $250,000 at the box office.  Fortunately, the film’s DVD and Blu-ray release helped create a fervent and passionate fan base, which led to a surprising announcement in 2010, when our favorite late-night comedy block, [adult swim], announced that a Black Dynamite animated series was going into production.

If you close your eyes and listen to the soundtrack, the Black Dynamite premiere sounds exactly like the film: not only did Michael Jai White and his fellow cast members (including Byron Minns as Bullhorn, Kym Whitley as Honey Bee, and Tommy Davidson as Cream Corn) return for this series, but composer Adrian Younge reprised much of his awesome music cues from the original film.  However, the visuals… are a different story.  You see, the animation team behind The Boondocks were hired to bring Black Dynamite to animated life, and as a result, the low-rent visuals of the movie have given way to an over-stylized, anime-like experience for the TV series… much like The Boondocks.  For those of you who are used to the style of the original movie, the visual switch is quite jarring, and it may take several episodes for the look to sink in.

Fortunately, despite the visual differences, the franchise’s sense of humor is still mostly intact… and that’s a good thing.  As the premiere episode opens, Fiendish Dr. Wu’s army of ninjas have taken over the city streets, flagrantly disobeying “No Ninja Loitering” signs and making sure that pimpin’ ain’t easy for Chocolate Giddy-Up and the city’s other pimps.  Hired by the pimps to take Dr. Wu out, Black Dynamite and his team put together a massive explosion (which invokes the series’ first use of the classic “Dy-no-mite! Dy-no-mite!” music cue)… but the getaway effort fails miserably when it’s revealed that Cream Corn abandoned his getaway driver duties to head on over to Soul Train… where he sees the Jackson 5 perform, and becomes enamored with a young Michael Jackson.

“Jackson Five Across Yo’ Eyes” was the third episode of the series that was produced, yet it was slotted as the series premiere.  Usually, TV comedies are apt to position their best episodes first in order to gain viewers.  However, I wonder if the premise of a Michael Jackson episode just seemed more accessible to new viewers (especially those who aren’t familiar with the Black Dynamite film).  If it’s accessibility that’s the case, it doesn’t work well, as the episode quickly falls into the requisite spate of Michael Jackson pedophile/creepy person jokes.  Things start promisingly, as Michael, not Joe Jackson, is portrayed as the abusive controller of the Jackson 5… but the episode soon turns into a reversed version of the South Park episode “The Jeffersons”, with Cream Corn idolizing little Michael much in the same way that Cartman fell for “Mr. Jefferson” in that classic episode, and Michael himself devolving into a creepy monster for the big finale of both episodes.  The show fares best when it wrings jokes out of the early days of the Jackson family, such as Michael professing his love for Cream Corn via a twisted version of his song “Ben”, or the flashback to Joe Jackson’s days as a reproducing machine.  (The episode’s most uproarious moment may have been the birth of La Toya Jackson, which I won’t spoil for you here.)  (Although I did like how Michael sang a warped version of “Ben” to profess his adoration for Cream Corn.)

But what hurts the most about this premiere is how much of the episode is tied to Michael Jackson and Cream Corn, and not Black Dynamite himself.  Black Dynamite’s attempts throughout the episode to interrogate a ninja is amusing, albeit way too brief (“Dammit, who’s interrupting my headlocking?”), and we get a classic moment involving Black Dynamite’s nearly-endless string of sexual partners (“Dammit, I already told the second bitch ‘No!’”).  But sadly, there’s little else time spent with the main man during the show’s 23 minutes, which is sad because Black Dynamite is an epic character in and of himself, and can easily generate a lot of laughs.  At the very least, Michael Jai White infuses most of his dialogue with a delicious sense of comedic anger over the Michael Jackson situation, which helps sell such lines as “Michael Jackson, will you stop the goddamn singing, shut the FUCK up, and let a grown man find his GRAPPLING HOOKS?!?!?”

All told, the premiere episode isn’t entirely a success, but I’m willing to wait this out as we proceed further into the season.  Regardless of the premiere’s quality, it’s still absolutely amazing that we have more adventures of Black Dynamite and his crew to indulge in, and for that alone, I’m still very optimistic.  But, it seems that we may run into the same trap next week, with a Bullhorn-centric adventure into the world of porn.  Let’s hope things turn out better… right? Right?

Random notes:

• If you missed Sunday night's viewing, you can watch the episode via this link, which takes you to adultswim.com. However, you will need to be a subscriber of a major cable or satellite company, as you will need to authenticate in order to view the video.
• Below, you'll find the Black Dynamite animated pilot, which premiered on adultswim.com last year, and which features JB Smoove as a villainous Kermit the Frog clone.  It’s uncertain if this will air on TV, primarily because the pilot was created as a 15-minute episode.  (After the pilot was finished, the series was expanded to 30-minute episodes… which, in the world of Adult Swim, is a vote of confidence.)
  
  
• For some reason, we don't have a review of the original Black Dynamite movie on the parent site... you'll have to beg the Powers That Be to cover it. :-)
• Ironically, my newly-acquired Blu-ray of Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker landed in my mailbox today from the UK.  I haven't seen it yet, but if the Nostalgia Critic has taught me anything, this movie is weird as heck.
• "The Whorephanage is a place for whores and orphans, not Michael Jacksons!"
• "Ninja, please!"